Day 495 Richard Made Me Feel Normal and They're Great, But Compliments Are Hard To Take

Day 495

Richard Made Me Feel Normal and They're Great, But Compliments Are Hard To Take

This morning found my arm feeling much better. I can tell that if I just give it a rest, I'll be 100% with it in no time. I didn't do my morning warm up workout this morning, I just didn't give myself enough time. Putting my sleep and workout schedule at the top of my priority list is a much needed improvement that will be made. It's about getting into the same frame of mind from early on this road, when I just didn't allow missed anything. I've talked many times about why that consistency and resolve can change with success. It doesn't seem as urgent. But it's needed even more now in order to achieve what we've always wanted.

I'm making some wonderful choices these days in the food department. It's an effort, but not too much really. I'm in complete control of what I put in my body for the first time in my life. After being out of control for so many years, it feels wonderfully peaceful to not struggle in that department. I still love food, and I enjoy food, but the urges to abuse food like before...well, I can't say they're completely gone, but almost. It's probably foolish to think they'll ever be completely gone. I'll never forget the day I had that twelve minute phone conversation with Richard Simmons. I mentioned “lusting over food,” and what he said to me was shocking. He admitted that he still occasionally “lusts” over food. “Don't we all?” he asked. Richard Simmons too? We're not alone! You mean I'm normal when I have that desire to devour an entire bowl of mac and cheese? Or when I walk down the ice cream section at the store and lovingly gaze at all the wonderful flavors? Or when I call in an order for a pizza, only to cancel minutes later because I know I can only “afford” one piece, and I'm somewhat afraid of the temptation? It's normal? Food taste good. But really, there isn't a food I can't enjoy if I want...I just can't allow a gorge-fest like so many times before. I think of that conversation with Richard every time I feel tempted, and it comforts me to know I'm normal. It's even more comforting to know that I can identify and stop my food fantasies before they lead me back to somewhere I've left behind, somewhere I refuse to ever visit again.

I had world famous Boogie Woogie pianist Sylvan Zingg on my show this morning. He's from Switzerland. His smile and energy is infectious—so, I couldn't help but be in a great mood. He's performing downtown tomorrow night (Saturday) at the Poncan Theatre. If you're in the area, I highly recommend you attend this show! He brought over some real Swiss chocolate too. Oh, Sylvan---why? I initially said “no thank you,” because the nutrition facts were printed in a language I couldn't understand. But then I thought, how often does a world-famous celebrity from Switzerland come into my studio with Swiss chocolate he brought over in his carry-on bag? Gayle talked me into having a bite, and trust me, she didn't have to try very hard. It was amazing! And the flavor lingered in my mouth for several minutes after. It was some of the best chocolate I've ever experienced. Yes, it was an experience.

Sylvan brought his best friend with him too—and that guy gave me a huge compliment that made my morning. He said I looked like David Arquette. Who? The name was familiar, but I couldn't put a face to it...I know he's an actor. As soon as he left the studio I googled David Arquette images---uh, I don't know---without the goetee, probably not. It was a wonderful morning---Being told I looked like a famous actor while being fed real Swiss chocolate delivered by a world-famous musician. How crazy is all of that? Nutty I say! I'm not the best at taking compliments. It's a trait many people like me have in common. They're just being nice! Which leads me to the next happening from tonight...

I hung out with friends tonight and as usual, I was the DD. Something happened while we were out that I want to tell you about, but I hesitate to share it because I don't want to sound conceited. If you know me well enough (just being a long time reader qualifies you), you know I'm not. So I'll share. I was standing up against a railing just people watching, when this woman walks by and smiles. I returned the smile, because I'm just nice like that. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed she turned her head around and looked at me again. She's flirting with me, I thought. But I quickly let that thought pass, people don't flirt with me! About ten minutes later this complete stranger walks right up to me and says “I just want to tell you that you're really good looking.” After looking to my right and left, then behind, I smiled again (and probably blushed) and said “Me? Oh, well...thank you!” Had she known about my transformation, I probably would have discounted it as she's just being nice. But this was a very attractive stranger. As far as she knows, I've never been morbidly obese. It felt good, but slightly uncomfortable. I'm not use to that kind of thing. I've always felt like the biggest, most undesirable person in the room...and making my brain accept otherwise is a serious challenge. I was naturally high from that experience the rest of the evening.

On the way home, a friend suggested we stop at the convenience store for some fried deli food. Oh boy...the only thing I would even consider from that cabinet, and only if I'm desperate, is a 150 calorie egg roll. I followed him inside and after taking one look, politely declined the offer of “whatever you want.” There was a time that I would have taken full advantage of that offer. Years ago in my hometown, I knew exactly when to show up at the convenience store late at night, right before they threw that deep fried stuff away, and I would bargain with the clerk. I once “scored” an entire grocery sack full of deep fried burritos, corn dogs, fried okra, egg rolls, and pizza pockets for two bucks. Two bucks! What a bargain! Of course the cost to my body and mind was much greater, but I didn't care. I was a food addict on the hunt for a fix, and I hit the mother-load on several occasions. Not tonight, no---not anymore. I decided to wait until I arrived home to prepare a mushroom and chicken omelet. I did, and it was good, real good.

I didn't workout tonight. I'm not happy about that at all. My arm is hurting horribly, but that's no excuse really. A friend of mine told me that a day of rest is not a bad thing. I know they're right. But you know what I mean. I spent too much time out soaking up life and casual compliments, and time flies when you're doing that stuff! It was late, real late. I was hungry and tired. It's OK I guess, as long as it doesn't become a regular habit---the not working out part, not the soaking up life and compliments part—-No, that can keep coming. Isn't this road we're on about living like we never knew possible? Yeah, it's sweet.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Mom and Me.


David Arquette. Alrighty then---I don't see it, but I appreciate the compliment.