Day 478 An Honor To Be Included and A Nice Dinner At Home

Day 478

An Honor To Be Included and A Nice Dinner At Home

I had to do something today I haven't done in a very long time. I woke up not feeling well at all. I was having some issues. I'll spare you the details, let's just call it an upset stomach. I'm still smoke free, isolated in my apartment without access. I decided that if I was going to take a sick day from work, I was staying inside all day. The only exception was to workout in the fitness room downstairs. Gayle Williams did my show this morning—thank you Gayle. Couldn't be helped today.

I was honored today when the one and only Jack Sh*t featured my best advice for real weight loss on his must read blog. It was an honor enough for me that he requested my advice for the post, but then when I read the advice from others featured, I realized: Hey—Jack has put me in some very elite company here! From Mizfit to The Anti-Jared, Diane Fit To The Finish, and even David Kirchhoff--the CEO of Weight Watchers International! There were many others and every single person on the post offered wonderful advice for weight loss and fitness. You can read the post on Jack's blog by clicking this link:
http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2010/01/advice-from-people-smarter-than-me.html

My workout this afternoon was OK, but it wasn't the greatest. I seriously need a trainer, I swear. I need someone to yell at me and push me, because...yeah, I'm way too easy on me. I have been ever since I started, and yes---I've lost weight successfully, but I know it's going to take some serious workouts to get to the next level. I'm tired of talking about it. I did do a treadmill 5K walk/jog. Funny that a 5K for me is now considered an “Ok” workout. I remember when a 5K was impossible to even fathom. I didn't even look at the elliptical. OK, I looked at it---but I didn't do it. And I hate to use the “I'm on edge” excuse because I no longer smoke, but I'm on edge---I'm dealing with strong cravings constantly. I want this, I want this bad. I want to reach my potential in the exercise and fitness area and I will do it as a non-smoker. This is the most important thing.

I wasn't feeling especially hot about my workout and then I did something that I hardly ever do that made me feel less thrilled about my workout. I watched the Biggest Loser. I watched maybe ten minutes of last season. Not because I don't like it, I just don't watch TV that much anymore. Too much other stuff going on! Tonight I watched over an hour. That show stirs emotions in me, maybe that's really why I don't watch. I can relate to their emotions and their stories, and it just wells me up. The workouts on that show are insane! But in a good way. I want someone to work me until I throw up! I want someone to yell at me and bring out the fight in me. I need that, I think I do. I know I do. I've proven that a consistent effort and do what you can approach works, but I'm always the first to admit, I could and should do more.

I prepared a wonderful dinner tonight. Courtney and I enjoyed a mozzarella baked chicken marinara over a small bed of spaghetti with a side of green beans. It was delicious. I measured out the sauce and the noodles, had the cheese cut to an ounce. The entire plate came in at 550 calories, slightly over where I like my meals, but I can live with that. It was good and since I measured everything perfectly, no leftovers! It certainly didn't look like enough pasta into the pot, but it was. We always prepared way too much pasta in the past because of that reason...it doesn't look like enough. Trust me, it is enough!

I'm posting the picture of me with my last cigarette over the weekend. I hate this picture. I didn't realize how much I've avoided smoking in pictures. I tried to find one of me smoking in the files and folders of not only my computer, but my daughters old hard drive, and I looked through the seemingly endless picture albums on my aunt Kelli's online archives. None. I've been ashamed of that habit my entire life! So I snapped this nasty photo. I couldn't look at the camera, I just shut my eyes. One of my motivating thoughts that keep me straight on this quit mission: I want to be free! I'm tired of being a slave to this habit. It's over and not another disgusting cigarette will ever hang from my lip again. I don't have to hide my habit from the camera anymore. I don't have to slip out the back door anymore. I don't have to embarrassingly explain to people I meet that I decided to lose weight first and then tackle the cigarettes. I can't tell you how many times I've run into someone who knows of my weight loss success and then they were shocked when they discovered my dirty little not so secret. It was a complete lifestyle contradiction. I'm no longer living that contradictory lifestyle. I'm still dealing with the strong cravings, but I'm winning. How can I lose with all of the wonderful support I've been receiving? Thank you my friend.

Tomorrow is weigh day. I'm looking forward to hopping on the scale and seeing what the last two weeks will give me. I'm pulling for the 260's---I just need a three pound loss to get that done. I'm headed for bed and work in the morning. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Trying to render myself unconscious. I never allowed pictures of me with a cigarette. Never! This was a hard one to snap. But it's a part of the record that is this wonderful transformation. Ridding myself of this nasty habit is part of my journey. It's over now. Snap away!