Day 351
She Started Crying and Learning How To Act
Today started in a rush. I slept right through the alarm. One of the first things I learned in radio was be on time. I need to remind myself of the importance. The show is suppose to start at 6am sharp. I made it, barely, but it was a mad dash. I even prepared Courtney and me an egg and mushroom high fiber wrap. Notice I didn't say “egg white.” When you're trying to prepare breakfast in less than five minutes, separating the eggs becomes really difficult. Good thing I took a shower before bed! I do not like mornings like this. I much prefer a nice quiet relaxed breakfast with Irene and Courtney, and if I'm lucky, Amber too! The major difference from the old days this morning? Skipping breakfast wasn't an option. If it would have been any later I would've at least grabbed an apple and a banana. I'm very aware that the metabolism needs something to get it started in the mornings. I don't always make the healthiest (whole eggs) choice. But I always make a choice.
My sister-in-law is staying the night with us. Irene has several sisters, and this one hasn't seen me in a really long time. I really don't know how to take her reaction to the much smaller me. She was shocked, I mean in total disbelief. She told me I looked great and that she was happy that I was healthier for the effort and then she did something unexpected. She started crying. It wasn't tears of happiness, these were grieving tears. She was grieving the loss of the old me. She said “My entire life you've looked the same and now that person is gone.” I assured her that I was still me inside. I still have all of the memories, all of the feelings, all of the humor, I'm Sean Anderson, that will never change! She kept wiping away her tears and we hugged, to which she replied “you don't even hug the same.” I guess I didn't realize how much she loved me. It really touched me deeply. I love her too. Judging from her reaction, you would have thought I had died. And I explained to her that I would have died in the next five or ten years more than likely, had I stayed at over 500 pounds. She just kept going on about it. She'll never see the old Sean again, and that just devastated her completely. It wasn't the reaction I expected at all.
It's really a swim through a giant pool of emotions when I look at my before pictures. I can absolutely relate to the feelings my sister-in-law expressed. I look at those old pictures and I feel sorry for that guy. He's gone. He'll never be back. He'll never walk into the room. He'll never walk onto that stage. That guy died a long time ago. Oh sure, it's still me now, but the presence of that big guy will never return. And I don't want him to come back. He can't. I've completely cut off the mental hangups that gave him a thread of hope on ever returning. I guess we'll just have to get use to it, because I feel amazing---and it keeps getting better and I keep feeling sorry for that big man, but I shouldn't. It might be possible that even at my heaviest, I still loved myself enough to feel a sense of loss now for who I was then. OK---this is getting waaaayyyy too emotional and crazy deep. Let's move on to happy stuff, shall we?
Night two of auditions for “Call Me Henry” were held in the Wilken Theatre this evening. I had some good reads I believe. We did an exercise where the director had us read from a book while he directed what kind of emotion we were to use. He would change it up to see how we handled each. It was really nice. I left the auditions feeling really good about the experience. I would have never had this kind of confidence before. I arrived home at around 8:30pm and it wasn't that long after when my phone started singing “Video Killed The Radio Star” by the Buggles (I loved that song long before I had a career in radio) It was a number I didn't immediately recognize, but I had a feeling. And I was correct---It was the director calling to give me the news. I got the part! Me! Sean Anderson, in a lead role of a dramatic stage play! Can you believe it? Yes my schedule is going to get even tighter now, but this is something I've always wanted to do, always. And I'm doing it! Making the impossible possible again, that's what this road leads to my friend. This is living. I wasn't completely living before. I'm living now.
You can visit the ReAct website at www.reactatnoc.com there should be a cast and crew list posted. You'll see my name by the role of Henry Cecil Grant Jr.---I still can't believe it. I'm thrilled! Oh my, I have a bunch of lines to memorize. The two lines from that 9th grade production were so easy I still remember them to this day, how could I ever forget. But this, this is a lead role! By the way---the play is set in 1940, so my hair will be cut to fit the period. And get this---I have to shave the goatee completely off for this part! Maybe I shouldn't put an exclamation point after that last sentence, sounds like I don't like the goatee, huh. You know what, it's grown on me—literally and figuratively. Irene loves it. I had to call her first thing with the good news. She was so happy for me. Then I told her about the goatee and the haircut. She was still happy for me, but kind of disappointed. I assured her that as soon as the run wraps, the goatee returns! Then she asked the question. “If you're a leading man in this production, surely you have a leading lady?” Uh, yeah, of course! “And do you kiss her in this play?” Only a couple of times and nothing heavy (I'm pretty sure). It's acting! Irene handled this very well I thought. I only had to call her back seventeen times. I'm kidding. She didn't hang up or anything. She understood that it goes with the territory. After twenty years of marriage, I think we can handle a little on stage kiss in a dramatic production. Or two. I love you baby, thank you for your understanding and support! I could tell my girl was so happy for me. She knows I've always had the desire to try acting, she knows this. It's always been a dream of mine. A dream held back no more! I'll be in my trailer.
The audio promo for the next Daily Diary of A Winning Loser audio interview will not be posted until tomorrow night. In case you missed it in Friday's post, the next subject will be Tony “The Anti-Jared” Posnanski. Tony has lost over two hundred pounds with a no-nonsense approach---and without eating foot-long subs everyday. He's 100% straight forward honest and is unapologetic about his attitude and approach. He's a man that has turned down feature stories about him on a major TV station in Florida because the reporter asked him something that infuriated him. Imagine how nervous I am. I'm going to be talking to him in less than 24 hours! The interview will be ready for “air” and posted by Thursday evening. I hope I don't upset him, have you seen his arms? The guy has certainly built a body to be proud of. I'm impressed and inspired. Visit the “Anti-Jared” at www.theantijared.blogspot.com
After a cardio workout with the rope I'm dropping in bed. We're less than 48 hours from my next weigh-in...and this time I will certainly be below 300 pounds for the first time since I was 15 years old. I can't wait! Thank you for your continued support. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Senin, 31 Agustus 2009
Day 3: It's not rocket science, but ...
ALEXANDER HOGUE
American, 1898-1994
Erosion No. 2 - Mother Earth Laid Bare, 1936P
American, 1898-1994
Erosion No. 2 - Mother Earth Laid Bare, 1936P
Picture taken in Tulsa in the Philbrook Museum of art--no flash used. This was one of my favorite paintings in the museum. It has nothing to do with this post. I just like it (and she kind of looks like me).
Sunday, Day 2 - 29.5 Points (good since my limit is 29 with using the APs and weeklies). I purposely stayed out of the gym and went for a 45-minute walk with my husband.
Day 3 - 28 Points (if I don't eat another bite tonight and I think I can safely say I'm done eating for the day). I really struggled through my 90-minute workout this morning. It was like my feet were stuck in mud. I managed to burn 465 calories, but it was tough going all the way. Usually after five minutes I'm really into my workout. Not today. I wanted to go home and go to back to bed.
What I've learned so far:
Stopping binge eating, at least for the short run, is possible.
Going to bed slightly hungry and falling asleep is possible.
Journaling and counting Points is possible (and it works).
Sticky notes with my short term goal of 152 placed within my vision in every room helps me stay focused. Me staying focused is possible.
Sugar-free jello with fat-free yogurt and a few blackberries tastes great. Giving up sugar-free ice cream is possible.
Getting to my 10-10-09 goal of 152 -- it's going to happen!
I know what to do to lose weight, as does every single person reading this. We all know the secret formula for weight loss: eat less, move more. It can't get much easier than that...but it's still a struggle for me. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every year. It's a big struggle, but one I'm determined to conquer.
Minggu, 30 Agustus 2009
Day 350 Taking To The Stage and Individual Mental Puzzles
Day 350
Taking To The Stage and Individual Mental Puzzles
When I was a kid... oh no, here we go again! When I was a kid in school, up until my freshman year in high school, my weight seemed to have very little positive value. It was a constant magnet for ridicule, bullying, and all of the negative things that go along with being a morbidly obese child. Then I discovered something that would change me in a very profound way. I found humor. I discovered the art of making people laugh. Never mind that it usually was at my expense, it didn't matter to me. If they were laughing, that meant they loved me, and everyone wants to be loved, right?
I discovered this ability while performing in a school play my freshman year. I was cast in a bit part as a reporter for “Sewing Made Easy” Magazine. The play was about a department store that had installed a “Happiness Machine” for their customers. The happiness machine was a match maker. Stand two people in front of it and it automatically would tell you if they were compatible. When the two leads in the play were matched together by this machine, the reporters rushed in to get the scoop! I had two lines in the whole thing. “What are you going to wear? (for the wedding) The readers of Sewing Made Easy would really like to know.” The second line was delivered after the male lead rejected the female lead in front of everyone in the store, including the reporters. The second line? “I'll marry her!” and blammo--The thunderous laughter from the audience after delivering that line was something I'll never forget. It truly changed me. Every performance it was the same thing, thunderous laughter every single time. I went from being the fat kid who got picked on to being on the “cool kid” list. People that would never give the time of day before all of a sudden wanted to talk to me. It changed how people treated me. I was addicted. I can't honestly say that this is what made me want to be a stand-up comedian, because watching Louie Anderson's debut on the Tonight Show years earlier did that for me. But it was profound in it's affect. I knew that the line was only funny because I was fat. I knew that, but I didn't care. I had just found a way to make people love me despite my weight, heck because of my weight! Louie's set on Carson was full of fat jokes too, this was OK I felt.
As my weight became much more of an issue it kept me from auditioning for roles in school productions. But I've always had that desire to act again. And not necessarily in a comedic role.
At over 500 pounds, the parts available were slim to none. But where I am now and where I'm headed, oh boy...the possibilities are endless. Now I don't know if my schedule or future plans can really accommodate me “catching the bug” of theater. But I thought I'd give it a try. So tonight I made my way over to the Wilken Theater on the campus of Northern Oklahoma College and I auditioned for one of the lead roles in the play “Call Me Henry.” Could you imagine? Me? In a lead role? This is something that I could never really do at over 500 pounds, wouldn't have had the confidence to even audition really. But tonight was different. I was confident and did very well I thought. The director seemed pleased and I received compliments from a couple of people afterwards. Will I get the part? Who knows. If not, it was a wonderful experience! I'll tell you this, if I'm cast in this production, I'm really going to be on an extremely tight schedule for a solid month with little room for error. Maybe that discipline is what I need to whip my schedule and time management skills into shape. If I don't get the part, it might be a blessing in disguise. I'm good either way. I'll let you know how this turns out, you can count on that!
A good friend of mine pointed out something very true after they read last night's post. And by the way, thank you for the wonderful comments and supportive e-mails concerning the blog. She understands my sincerity in wanting this so badly for every single morbidly obese person I see. And especially for wanting it passionately for my friends and family. But she pointed out something very true: While the physical actions required along this road are very similar for all of us. The mental part, the most important, is different and specific to each individual. Basically, we all have our own baggage to deal with, and that effects how we get our mind in the proper place for success with weight loss or anything else for that matter.
In thinking about this today I realized that for some this mental change is much harder. It took me nearly twenty years to really get my mind to a place where success could happen. I was quickly running out of time. And for many of us, we don't have that long to figure this stuff out. I realize that all I can do is share some of the mental gymnastics and exercises that have helped me, and that's certainly what you find in these writings. You might immediately apply these techniques and find success, or you might still seriously struggle---because the pieces of your mental puzzle are not the same as mine.
One thing that came along four or five months ago was a very special paragraph from motivational writer and philosopher Ralph Marston. I've struggled so much less after reading these words. It truly set me free. I received permission from Mr. Marston to publish this a long time ago as long as I include his website address afterward. Read the following and let it really sink in, read it over and over if you have to: “Set Yourself Free” by Ralph Marston: "There is no outside force holding you back. You are holding you back and you are blaming it on someone or something else. The way you are able to continue holding yourself back is by maintaining the illusion that you're a victim. Once you realize that illusion, you will naturally and easily move forward. In fact, it is easier to fulfill your best possibilities than it is to avoid them. So let go of the blame and watch the limitations drop away. Certainly there will always be challenges that hold you back. For each challenge provides you with a pathway through which you can move toward fulfillment. It is your very nature to accomplish. Lovingly accept your destiny, and allow that accomplishment to be manifest through you. Set yourself free to follow your purpose. Set yourself free to truly live." That is the third time I've included this in my blog. I fully embrace it and I completely understand it. I hope you do as well. Ralph Marston is an amazing writer and philosopher, you can subscribe to his “Daily Motivator” at www.greatday.com
We enjoyed chicken egg rolls with sweet and sour sauce and baked french fries tonight. Sounds yummy huh? Oh it was! We baked the egg rolls too. Each one is fairly good size and only 120 calories. The fries we used weighed in at 150 calories a serving. Two egg rolls and a serving of fries equaled 390, add two tablespoons of sauce for 60 and you have a very filling (and incredibly naughty feeling) dinner for 450 calories. I tried to eat three of these egg rolls recently for 360 calories, and I just couldn't do it---way too filling. I was stuffed after two. Oh, ketchup---that's right, OK—add another 30 calories. So 480 for the entire meal. I can live with those numbers.
Diana Lynn is someone that recently found my blog and she asked a question in a comment on Day 348 about my food plan. The comment didn't have an e-mail reply option, so I'll answer here. I try to eat something at least every three hours. I didn't always do this. Until about four months ago, I didn't care how I arrived at 1,500 calories...as long as I left enough for a good dinner and a late night snack I was happy. With that attitude, I would often go six or seven hours without eating. Then I was told the “Wood Burning Stove” metabolism analogy by Fitness and Life Coach Melissa Walden and it just made perfect sense. Here's an excerpt from Day 197: I've really been concentrating on spreading out my calories more evenly throughout the day, you know, to keep the fire in my “wood burning stove” burning hot. The metabolism is a tricky thing. I use to think that the metabolism was something you were just born with and completely unable to change. I thought that some of us were blessed with a really fast metabolism and some were unfortunately “blessed” with a slow metabolism. While you'll find some truth in that, a slow metabolism doesn't have to remain slow. I've learned that exercise, water consumption, and eating frequently all have the power to act like a “metabolism dial” that you can adjust up several notches. It just so happens that all of my former bad behaviors with food and lack of movement was a perfect recipe for a sluggish metabolism. Oh how much time I wasted being depressed and negative about losing weight because I had a naturally slow metabolism, and all the while my metabolism was yelling “Hey, help me help you!” and “It's called H2O, look it up.” and “If you would eat smaller portions maybe I wouldn't feel so smothered down here.” and “How long has it been since you really exercised...well that's too long.” That's right, my metabolism was a heckler that I refused to acknowledge for many years. Instead I would sit and be jealous of the naturally thin people with super-human metabolisms, looking out the window as they would run by with their workout pants and water bottle. “Crazy over-achievers,” I thought. I now pride myself on slowly becoming one of them. I don't even necessarily have to be an over-achiever, just an achiever, that'd be just fine with me. I'm fitting the description of an “achiever” everyday, one day at a time right? Diana, I eat every three hours and I'm never hungry unless it's first thing when I wake up. It forces me to make good choices throughout the day. And yes, nothing is off limits in responsible portions!
I'm headed to bed tonight without a workout to report. What? Mr. Good Choices didn't workout today? No I didn't. I could get my behind on the patio for some more jump rope action, I could even travel to the trail for a quick 5K, or pop in the Richard Simmons DVD. But I've decided to get to bed instead. I should have managed my time better earlier today. That's my fault. But I've never claimed to be perfect. I'm so not perfect. And I don't have to be. And neither do you. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Taking To The Stage and Individual Mental Puzzles
When I was a kid... oh no, here we go again! When I was a kid in school, up until my freshman year in high school, my weight seemed to have very little positive value. It was a constant magnet for ridicule, bullying, and all of the negative things that go along with being a morbidly obese child. Then I discovered something that would change me in a very profound way. I found humor. I discovered the art of making people laugh. Never mind that it usually was at my expense, it didn't matter to me. If they were laughing, that meant they loved me, and everyone wants to be loved, right?
I discovered this ability while performing in a school play my freshman year. I was cast in a bit part as a reporter for “Sewing Made Easy” Magazine. The play was about a department store that had installed a “Happiness Machine” for their customers. The happiness machine was a match maker. Stand two people in front of it and it automatically would tell you if they were compatible. When the two leads in the play were matched together by this machine, the reporters rushed in to get the scoop! I had two lines in the whole thing. “What are you going to wear? (for the wedding) The readers of Sewing Made Easy would really like to know.” The second line was delivered after the male lead rejected the female lead in front of everyone in the store, including the reporters. The second line? “I'll marry her!” and blammo--The thunderous laughter from the audience after delivering that line was something I'll never forget. It truly changed me. Every performance it was the same thing, thunderous laughter every single time. I went from being the fat kid who got picked on to being on the “cool kid” list. People that would never give the time of day before all of a sudden wanted to talk to me. It changed how people treated me. I was addicted. I can't honestly say that this is what made me want to be a stand-up comedian, because watching Louie Anderson's debut on the Tonight Show years earlier did that for me. But it was profound in it's affect. I knew that the line was only funny because I was fat. I knew that, but I didn't care. I had just found a way to make people love me despite my weight, heck because of my weight! Louie's set on Carson was full of fat jokes too, this was OK I felt.
As my weight became much more of an issue it kept me from auditioning for roles in school productions. But I've always had that desire to act again. And not necessarily in a comedic role.
At over 500 pounds, the parts available were slim to none. But where I am now and where I'm headed, oh boy...the possibilities are endless. Now I don't know if my schedule or future plans can really accommodate me “catching the bug” of theater. But I thought I'd give it a try. So tonight I made my way over to the Wilken Theater on the campus of Northern Oklahoma College and I auditioned for one of the lead roles in the play “Call Me Henry.” Could you imagine? Me? In a lead role? This is something that I could never really do at over 500 pounds, wouldn't have had the confidence to even audition really. But tonight was different. I was confident and did very well I thought. The director seemed pleased and I received compliments from a couple of people afterwards. Will I get the part? Who knows. If not, it was a wonderful experience! I'll tell you this, if I'm cast in this production, I'm really going to be on an extremely tight schedule for a solid month with little room for error. Maybe that discipline is what I need to whip my schedule and time management skills into shape. If I don't get the part, it might be a blessing in disguise. I'm good either way. I'll let you know how this turns out, you can count on that!
A good friend of mine pointed out something very true after they read last night's post. And by the way, thank you for the wonderful comments and supportive e-mails concerning the blog. She understands my sincerity in wanting this so badly for every single morbidly obese person I see. And especially for wanting it passionately for my friends and family. But she pointed out something very true: While the physical actions required along this road are very similar for all of us. The mental part, the most important, is different and specific to each individual. Basically, we all have our own baggage to deal with, and that effects how we get our mind in the proper place for success with weight loss or anything else for that matter.
In thinking about this today I realized that for some this mental change is much harder. It took me nearly twenty years to really get my mind to a place where success could happen. I was quickly running out of time. And for many of us, we don't have that long to figure this stuff out. I realize that all I can do is share some of the mental gymnastics and exercises that have helped me, and that's certainly what you find in these writings. You might immediately apply these techniques and find success, or you might still seriously struggle---because the pieces of your mental puzzle are not the same as mine.
One thing that came along four or five months ago was a very special paragraph from motivational writer and philosopher Ralph Marston. I've struggled so much less after reading these words. It truly set me free. I received permission from Mr. Marston to publish this a long time ago as long as I include his website address afterward. Read the following and let it really sink in, read it over and over if you have to: “Set Yourself Free” by Ralph Marston: "There is no outside force holding you back. You are holding you back and you are blaming it on someone or something else. The way you are able to continue holding yourself back is by maintaining the illusion that you're a victim. Once you realize that illusion, you will naturally and easily move forward. In fact, it is easier to fulfill your best possibilities than it is to avoid them. So let go of the blame and watch the limitations drop away. Certainly there will always be challenges that hold you back. For each challenge provides you with a pathway through which you can move toward fulfillment. It is your very nature to accomplish. Lovingly accept your destiny, and allow that accomplishment to be manifest through you. Set yourself free to follow your purpose. Set yourself free to truly live." That is the third time I've included this in my blog. I fully embrace it and I completely understand it. I hope you do as well. Ralph Marston is an amazing writer and philosopher, you can subscribe to his “Daily Motivator” at www.greatday.com
We enjoyed chicken egg rolls with sweet and sour sauce and baked french fries tonight. Sounds yummy huh? Oh it was! We baked the egg rolls too. Each one is fairly good size and only 120 calories. The fries we used weighed in at 150 calories a serving. Two egg rolls and a serving of fries equaled 390, add two tablespoons of sauce for 60 and you have a very filling (and incredibly naughty feeling) dinner for 450 calories. I tried to eat three of these egg rolls recently for 360 calories, and I just couldn't do it---way too filling. I was stuffed after two. Oh, ketchup---that's right, OK—add another 30 calories. So 480 for the entire meal. I can live with those numbers.
Diana Lynn is someone that recently found my blog and she asked a question in a comment on Day 348 about my food plan. The comment didn't have an e-mail reply option, so I'll answer here. I try to eat something at least every three hours. I didn't always do this. Until about four months ago, I didn't care how I arrived at 1,500 calories...as long as I left enough for a good dinner and a late night snack I was happy. With that attitude, I would often go six or seven hours without eating. Then I was told the “Wood Burning Stove” metabolism analogy by Fitness and Life Coach Melissa Walden and it just made perfect sense. Here's an excerpt from Day 197: I've really been concentrating on spreading out my calories more evenly throughout the day, you know, to keep the fire in my “wood burning stove” burning hot. The metabolism is a tricky thing. I use to think that the metabolism was something you were just born with and completely unable to change. I thought that some of us were blessed with a really fast metabolism and some were unfortunately “blessed” with a slow metabolism. While you'll find some truth in that, a slow metabolism doesn't have to remain slow. I've learned that exercise, water consumption, and eating frequently all have the power to act like a “metabolism dial” that you can adjust up several notches. It just so happens that all of my former bad behaviors with food and lack of movement was a perfect recipe for a sluggish metabolism. Oh how much time I wasted being depressed and negative about losing weight because I had a naturally slow metabolism, and all the while my metabolism was yelling “Hey, help me help you!” and “It's called H2O, look it up.” and “If you would eat smaller portions maybe I wouldn't feel so smothered down here.” and “How long has it been since you really exercised...well that's too long.” That's right, my metabolism was a heckler that I refused to acknowledge for many years. Instead I would sit and be jealous of the naturally thin people with super-human metabolisms, looking out the window as they would run by with their workout pants and water bottle. “Crazy over-achievers,” I thought. I now pride myself on slowly becoming one of them. I don't even necessarily have to be an over-achiever, just an achiever, that'd be just fine with me. I'm fitting the description of an “achiever” everyday, one day at a time right? Diana, I eat every three hours and I'm never hungry unless it's first thing when I wake up. It forces me to make good choices throughout the day. And yes, nothing is off limits in responsible portions!
I'm headed to bed tonight without a workout to report. What? Mr. Good Choices didn't workout today? No I didn't. I could get my behind on the patio for some more jump rope action, I could even travel to the trail for a quick 5K, or pop in the Richard Simmons DVD. But I've decided to get to bed instead. I should have managed my time better earlier today. That's my fault. But I've never claimed to be perfect. I'm so not perfect. And I don't have to be. And neither do you. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 2 of my plan (and still excited!)
I'm still psyched about having a short-term goal. If you read yesterday's post, I have 6-week plan to reach 152 pounds. That's not my final goal weight, but it's a step in the right direction (final goal weight is still 135).
Yesterday was a near perfect day for eating and exercise. I know I can't be that perfect every day, but it's what I'm striving to attain on a fairly consistent basis.
My workout yesterday
10 minutes warmup on the elliptical
30 minutes on Sadie (StairMaster)
For my strength routine I do the pyramid sets, starting with the lighter weight, more reps, then higher weights with few reps. Below are the reps/weight for each set. I always do three sets of whatever exercise I'm performing, and on the last rep I go as heavy as I can handle for a minimum of eight reps. I read about this in the New Rules of Lifting for Women.
45 minutes lower body strength workout:
Leg extension 12/65 10/67.5 10/70
Seated leg curl 15/65 12/72.5 10/75
Prone leg curl 12/65 10/70 8/75
Back leg kick with cable ankly cuff 12/40 10/45 10/50
Curtsie lunges 3 sets - 20 reps
Prone leg press 12/70 12/70 12/70
Total calories burned according to my heart rate monitor was 499. According to the Activity tracker in eTools this earned me 7 APs. I only planned on using 4 of those a day.
My food was just about perfect, although a rather weird breakfast because I didn't eat before my Weight Watchers meeting at 11 a.m. Afterwards I wanted to work out so I stopped at the store and bought my breakfast, which is definitely not something I would normally eat.
Breakfast
2 boiled eggs - 4 Points
1 Lucerene light raspberry smoothie - 2 Points
1 WW Red Velvet bar (I caved and bought a box at the meeting - not very good. Tasted like chemicals.) - 1
ttl = 7
Lunch
Blackberry Smoothie:
2 cups blackberries - 2.5
WW smoothie mix - 1
1 cup 1% milk - 2
2 scoops goat whey - 3
3 cups spinach - 0
lots of ice and 1 cup water
ttl = 8.5
Dinner
Grilled 5 oz. Sockeye salmon fillet with lemon pepper - 6.5
Stuffed eggplant (delicious! I promise to share the recipe soon.) - 3
ttl = 9.5
Dessert at 9 p.m.
Jello sugar-free chocolate cup - 1
Light Redi-whip whipped cream - 1
Snack at 10 p.m. - still hungry
Sugar free hot cocoa - 1
Total = 28 Points
That was right in line with what I want to eat. My goal is a maximum of 29 Points a day. I still have some junk food in my diet, like the WW smoothie mix and the sugar-free jello pudding, but I can't go all natural. It would sort of be like me going without makeup, it's just not going to happen.
I'm not going to post all my food every day, since I'm sure people could care less what I eat. I'm mainly posting it to let you know I eat a lot, and I'm not starving myself. Looking at what I ate though, I see things I need to change. Smaller meals, and more snacks.
I also posted the "152" stickies all over the house. They're really helping me stay focused. I'm going to put them in my car too, as well as in my cubicle at work. I really don't care if people know what I weigh.
Today I'm riding my bike for 50 minutes and going to stop on the way back to pick blackberries, I love my blackberry smoothies.
I'm still....soooooo excited!
Yesterday was a near perfect day for eating and exercise. I know I can't be that perfect every day, but it's what I'm striving to attain on a fairly consistent basis.
My workout yesterday
10 minutes warmup on the elliptical
30 minutes on Sadie (StairMaster)
For my strength routine I do the pyramid sets, starting with the lighter weight, more reps, then higher weights with few reps. Below are the reps/weight for each set. I always do three sets of whatever exercise I'm performing, and on the last rep I go as heavy as I can handle for a minimum of eight reps. I read about this in the New Rules of Lifting for Women.
45 minutes lower body strength workout:
Leg extension 12/65 10/67.5 10/70
Seated leg curl 15/65 12/72.5 10/75
Prone leg curl 12/65 10/70 8/75
Back leg kick with cable ankly cuff 12/40 10/45 10/50
Curtsie lunges 3 sets - 20 reps
Prone leg press 12/70 12/70 12/70
Total calories burned according to my heart rate monitor was 499. According to the Activity tracker in eTools this earned me 7 APs. I only planned on using 4 of those a day.
My food was just about perfect, although a rather weird breakfast because I didn't eat before my Weight Watchers meeting at 11 a.m. Afterwards I wanted to work out so I stopped at the store and bought my breakfast, which is definitely not something I would normally eat.
Breakfast
2 boiled eggs - 4 Points
1 Lucerene light raspberry smoothie - 2 Points
1 WW Red Velvet bar (I caved and bought a box at the meeting - not very good. Tasted like chemicals.) - 1
ttl = 7
Lunch
Blackberry Smoothie:
2 cups blackberries - 2.5
WW smoothie mix - 1
1 cup 1% milk - 2
2 scoops goat whey - 3
3 cups spinach - 0
lots of ice and 1 cup water
ttl = 8.5
Dinner
Grilled 5 oz. Sockeye salmon fillet with lemon pepper - 6.5
Stuffed eggplant (delicious! I promise to share the recipe soon.) - 3
ttl = 9.5
Dessert at 9 p.m.
Jello sugar-free chocolate cup - 1
Light Redi-whip whipped cream - 1
Snack at 10 p.m. - still hungry
Sugar free hot cocoa - 1
Total = 28 Points
That was right in line with what I want to eat. My goal is a maximum of 29 Points a day. I still have some junk food in my diet, like the WW smoothie mix and the sugar-free jello pudding, but I can't go all natural. It would sort of be like me going without makeup, it's just not going to happen.
I'm not going to post all my food every day, since I'm sure people could care less what I eat. I'm mainly posting it to let you know I eat a lot, and I'm not starving myself. Looking at what I ate though, I see things I need to change. Smaller meals, and more snacks.
I also posted the "152" stickies all over the house. They're really helping me stay focused. I'm going to put them in my car too, as well as in my cubicle at work. I really don't care if people know what I weigh.
Today I'm riding my bike for 50 minutes and going to stop on the way back to pick blackberries, I love my blackberry smoothies.
I'm still....soooooo excited!
Sabtu, 29 Agustus 2009
Day 349 Seeing My Old Self In The Eyes of Others and A Fight Worth Fighting
Day 349
Seeing My Old Self In The Eyes of Others and A Fight Worth Fighting
I had a remote broadcast from a large nightclub again, I've written about this place before. Tonight I had to once again pick up a 10 pizza order from Dominos. I usually spend a couple of hundred calories or so on a piece, but not tonight. After discovering how low cal I can make these personal pizzas at home, I'll probably never spend another calorie on a 200+ calorie single piece of pizza, seriously.
I people watch at these events. I can spot the insecure ones and the confident ones. I noticed a lady that was doing something that reminded me of the old Sean. She was constantly tugging at her shirt. She was overweight like me and very aware of how her shirt was clinging to her. I used to get made fun of for doing this very thing. I really felt for her. I could tell she was struggling with the whole scene in that place. But mainly struggling with herself. I so badly want to talk to people like this, but there's a time and place---and this wasn't one of them.
I experienced the same thing at Wal-Mart today. I noticed a man who had to be well over 500, if not 600 pounds. You really can't tell too much by what someone is putting into their shopping cart, but he seemed to be making some really good choices. I wanted to share with him my story, I so did, but I just can't. I've talked about this before. It's a horrible feeling to just walk on by, I feel like I'm leaving him behind, keeping the “secret” to myself. Whispering “good luck” and hoping he comes around if he hasn't already. I know Richard Simmons's policy about not approaching people unless they reach out for him first...and I understand that. But people know Richard. People don't know me. I'd never laid eyes on this man in my life. He has zero knowledge of my transformation---so how bad would it be to hand him a card with my blog address? How bad would that be? Some might get offended, sure. And some will toss it in the trash. But at least I can feel like I tried something. And maybe every now and then it works, it inspires, it starts something again that may have died a long time ago in someone. That ability to dream of a better life free of obesity is an awesome ability. When you're completely lost, it's a hard dream to imagine. But when you see a way out, when you see that ray of light shining through—It's just amazing what can happen. I just can't help seeing my old self in the eyes of so many others.
I've been doing a bunch of tough thinking lately about why some struggle so hard while others seem to be so solidly on their way. Why some say they “get it,” but continuously give in to the temptation that's trying to take this away. I think it's actually harder for people who are exceptionally smart. Let me explain: It's nearly impossible for someone to really learn something if they already believe they know. Especially when the solution has been broken down into very simple terms and easy to understand mental exercises. It can't be that easy, they might think. And so their search continues---looking for books and articles to break it down into slices that challenge their intelligence. Some people insist on complicating things. It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be easy if you accept that it can. Once you turn off the excuses. Once you accept 100% responsibility for your behaviors with food. Once you become completely self-honest about your consumption. Once you realize the importance of consistency. Once you stick to a lower level of calories. Once you commit to a real exercise schedule, once you do these things—it's almost impossible not to succeed. And yes, you have to fight. You have to bring out the fight inside and often times battle that little devil on your shoulder. If any of these vital components are not in place, it can seem very difficult.
You must not forget that I too am a food addict. You must realize and remember that I too spent my entire adult life until now, struggling the same way. I was out of control. So if you read my words these days and think Oh Sean, you make it sound so easy don't you? Never forget from where I've come. And realize that if I can get to this place, then it's not impossible for you to get here too. And you don't have to understand everything to get started. I didn't. I didn't know or practice anything but the very basics on day one. You might even say I was going through the motions at first. Along the way these simple truths came out about my past failures and all of a sudden things started making sense. I started to have a better understanding of why I always struggled before and why I was struggling less now. Epiphanies started happening, they're all documented...go back and read them. So if you're trying to get everything in order in a way that makes complete sense before you start succeeding, you're complicating the process. The things that must be rock solid from day one are your commitment to fight. Your resolve must be “iron-clad.” Your desire to succeed must exceed your desire to binge. It's that importance level thing again. Set it dramatically high. And fight for your life. Defend this journey from those evil thoughts within that threaten your success along this road. And find comfort in the fact that you will learn things and have epiphanies along the way that will catapult you onto different levels of understanding. But in the beginning you must fight. It's a fight worth fighting, it really is.
I was pulled over by the police tonight. I immediately tried to figure out what I did wrong and nothing was coming to me. Turns out my tag light was out. The officer gave me a warning. It was a fun experience because this same officer pulled me over four years ago for a seatbelt violation. I couldn't fit in the seatbelt back then. This wasn't the motorcycle officer from the early days of this journey, this was another that knew me and pulled me over a long time ago. He told me that he didn't recognize me at all. That felt good. And he pointed out how my license really needed updated, the picture is so not me anymore. When I get pulled over, that license picture always causes the officer to do a double take. It's not like I get pulled over all the time, but the couple of times it's happened recently---the reaction has been the same. It's a cool thing.
After that “wow” reaction, Irene sent me a text needing me to bring her something she had forgotten on her way to work. So I made my way up north to her job, walked in, checked in at the security desk where I was greeted by Margie. Margie knew me well at over 500 pounds. She didn't know me at all tonight. She started talking to me like I was a complete stranger “Can I help you sir?” and I replied “I'm here to see my wife.” And that's when she just about hit the floor. “Sean, is that you? Oh my---you look amazing.” The “is that you?” question felt kind of weird. Like she was talking to the old me trapped inside this smaller body. She just kept going on and on, she was shocked. And I was thrilled by her reaction. In the early days of this blog I remember dreaming about these future situations. It's so nice that those dreams have become reality.
I'm headed to bed and I plan on resting really well. It's like I'm playing catch-up every weekend when it comes to sleep. I didn't even mention my workout on the patio with the jump rope and the neighbor lady peeking at me through her bedroom window. I must have been too loud. She stopped looking once I noticed her. I wonder if she realized what I was doing? It was kind of dark and the rope is black. No telling what kind of crazy she imagined of me. I can only imagine her telling others, “and then I looked out to see what the commotion was all about and that guy was jumping up and down and grunting and moaning. Something isn't right about him.” Once again, thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Seeing My Old Self In The Eyes of Others and A Fight Worth Fighting
I had a remote broadcast from a large nightclub again, I've written about this place before. Tonight I had to once again pick up a 10 pizza order from Dominos. I usually spend a couple of hundred calories or so on a piece, but not tonight. After discovering how low cal I can make these personal pizzas at home, I'll probably never spend another calorie on a 200+ calorie single piece of pizza, seriously.
I people watch at these events. I can spot the insecure ones and the confident ones. I noticed a lady that was doing something that reminded me of the old Sean. She was constantly tugging at her shirt. She was overweight like me and very aware of how her shirt was clinging to her. I used to get made fun of for doing this very thing. I really felt for her. I could tell she was struggling with the whole scene in that place. But mainly struggling with herself. I so badly want to talk to people like this, but there's a time and place---and this wasn't one of them.
I experienced the same thing at Wal-Mart today. I noticed a man who had to be well over 500, if not 600 pounds. You really can't tell too much by what someone is putting into their shopping cart, but he seemed to be making some really good choices. I wanted to share with him my story, I so did, but I just can't. I've talked about this before. It's a horrible feeling to just walk on by, I feel like I'm leaving him behind, keeping the “secret” to myself. Whispering “good luck” and hoping he comes around if he hasn't already. I know Richard Simmons's policy about not approaching people unless they reach out for him first...and I understand that. But people know Richard. People don't know me. I'd never laid eyes on this man in my life. He has zero knowledge of my transformation---so how bad would it be to hand him a card with my blog address? How bad would that be? Some might get offended, sure. And some will toss it in the trash. But at least I can feel like I tried something. And maybe every now and then it works, it inspires, it starts something again that may have died a long time ago in someone. That ability to dream of a better life free of obesity is an awesome ability. When you're completely lost, it's a hard dream to imagine. But when you see a way out, when you see that ray of light shining through—It's just amazing what can happen. I just can't help seeing my old self in the eyes of so many others.
I've been doing a bunch of tough thinking lately about why some struggle so hard while others seem to be so solidly on their way. Why some say they “get it,” but continuously give in to the temptation that's trying to take this away. I think it's actually harder for people who are exceptionally smart. Let me explain: It's nearly impossible for someone to really learn something if they already believe they know. Especially when the solution has been broken down into very simple terms and easy to understand mental exercises. It can't be that easy, they might think. And so their search continues---looking for books and articles to break it down into slices that challenge their intelligence. Some people insist on complicating things. It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be easy if you accept that it can. Once you turn off the excuses. Once you accept 100% responsibility for your behaviors with food. Once you become completely self-honest about your consumption. Once you realize the importance of consistency. Once you stick to a lower level of calories. Once you commit to a real exercise schedule, once you do these things—it's almost impossible not to succeed. And yes, you have to fight. You have to bring out the fight inside and often times battle that little devil on your shoulder. If any of these vital components are not in place, it can seem very difficult.
You must not forget that I too am a food addict. You must realize and remember that I too spent my entire adult life until now, struggling the same way. I was out of control. So if you read my words these days and think Oh Sean, you make it sound so easy don't you? Never forget from where I've come. And realize that if I can get to this place, then it's not impossible for you to get here too. And you don't have to understand everything to get started. I didn't. I didn't know or practice anything but the very basics on day one. You might even say I was going through the motions at first. Along the way these simple truths came out about my past failures and all of a sudden things started making sense. I started to have a better understanding of why I always struggled before and why I was struggling less now. Epiphanies started happening, they're all documented...go back and read them. So if you're trying to get everything in order in a way that makes complete sense before you start succeeding, you're complicating the process. The things that must be rock solid from day one are your commitment to fight. Your resolve must be “iron-clad.” Your desire to succeed must exceed your desire to binge. It's that importance level thing again. Set it dramatically high. And fight for your life. Defend this journey from those evil thoughts within that threaten your success along this road. And find comfort in the fact that you will learn things and have epiphanies along the way that will catapult you onto different levels of understanding. But in the beginning you must fight. It's a fight worth fighting, it really is.
I was pulled over by the police tonight. I immediately tried to figure out what I did wrong and nothing was coming to me. Turns out my tag light was out. The officer gave me a warning. It was a fun experience because this same officer pulled me over four years ago for a seatbelt violation. I couldn't fit in the seatbelt back then. This wasn't the motorcycle officer from the early days of this journey, this was another that knew me and pulled me over a long time ago. He told me that he didn't recognize me at all. That felt good. And he pointed out how my license really needed updated, the picture is so not me anymore. When I get pulled over, that license picture always causes the officer to do a double take. It's not like I get pulled over all the time, but the couple of times it's happened recently---the reaction has been the same. It's a cool thing.
After that “wow” reaction, Irene sent me a text needing me to bring her something she had forgotten on her way to work. So I made my way up north to her job, walked in, checked in at the security desk where I was greeted by Margie. Margie knew me well at over 500 pounds. She didn't know me at all tonight. She started talking to me like I was a complete stranger “Can I help you sir?” and I replied “I'm here to see my wife.” And that's when she just about hit the floor. “Sean, is that you? Oh my---you look amazing.” The “is that you?” question felt kind of weird. Like she was talking to the old me trapped inside this smaller body. She just kept going on and on, she was shocked. And I was thrilled by her reaction. In the early days of this blog I remember dreaming about these future situations. It's so nice that those dreams have become reality.
I'm headed to bed and I plan on resting really well. It's like I'm playing catch-up every weekend when it comes to sleep. I didn't even mention my workout on the patio with the jump rope and the neighbor lady peeking at me through her bedroom window. I must have been too loud. She stopped looking once I noticed her. I wonder if she realized what I was doing? It was kind of dark and the rope is black. No telling what kind of crazy she imagined of me. I can only imagine her telling others, “and then I looked out to see what the commotion was all about and that guy was jumping up and down and grunting and moaning. Something isn't right about him.” Once again, thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
I'm soooo excited!
My weighin today (this is NOT what I'm excited about):
Today's weight: 162.8
Gained: +0.8
Total Loss: -76.4
I gained 8/10 of a pound. That's not good, but not horrible either. I know why I gained, I ate too much food. Last week is history and now I have a plan.
My Weight Watcher Meeting Today
I love my leader, Janis. She's the absolute best leader I've ever seen (and I've seen quite a few in the last three years). It was just what I needed to get my diet mojo back. The meeting was about the Lose for Good campaign. It's where Weight Watchers donates up to $1 million to feed the hungry, based on how much weight their members lose.
The Lose for Good campaign starts tomorrow and lasts for six weeks, ending on October 10. Janis told us to set a goal of exactly what we wanted to weigh six weeks from now. She told us to write it in membership book next to today's weighin. I wrote 152.
At next weeks meeting we're suppose to bring in one item for the local food bank per pound we want to lose. Since I want to lose 10.8 pounds I'll bring in 11 items. Then we have to stand up in front of everyone and Janis will ask us two questions. She wouldn't tell us the two questions, it's a "surprise".
If we make our goal on October 10 Janis will give us $5. These aren't real dollars but are for an auction she does at the end of the year. A really cool auction where you can bid on great prizes (things like a weekend for two at a Mt. Hood resort).
This got me really excited. I'm determined to be one of the winners come October 10.
1. Lose 10.8 pounds by October 10 - six weeks from today
2. Exercise
~~~cardio 7 times a week, with one non-gym day of cardio. Biking or walking.
40 minutes minimum cardio workouts
~~~strength training 6 times a week, 3 upper body workouts, 3 lower body workouts
40 minute minimum strength
I already do this, but I just need to keep doing it and do different exercises. Mix it up a bit.
3. Food
~~~Journal everything. Weigh and measure. No more estimating Points. Be exact.
~~~Eat fewer processed foods. No sugar-free ice cream.
~~~Eat more "filling" foods.
~~~Points limit per day = 20 base + 4 APs + 5 weeklies = 29 max. per day
4. Visualize.
~~~Put notes all over the house, the car, my cubicle with the number "152" written on it.
5. Water
~~~~Drink more water. Being too busy is not an excuse to slack on the water.
I'm super excited about this. I feel like my goal is within my reach. I can do this!
Today's weight: 162.8
Gained: +0.8
Total Loss: -76.4
I gained 8/10 of a pound. That's not good, but not horrible either. I know why I gained, I ate too much food. Last week is history and now I have a plan.
My Weight Watcher Meeting Today
I love my leader, Janis. She's the absolute best leader I've ever seen (and I've seen quite a few in the last three years). It was just what I needed to get my diet mojo back. The meeting was about the Lose for Good campaign. It's where Weight Watchers donates up to $1 million to feed the hungry, based on how much weight their members lose.
The Lose for Good campaign starts tomorrow and lasts for six weeks, ending on October 10. Janis told us to set a goal of exactly what we wanted to weigh six weeks from now. She told us to write it in membership book next to today's weighin. I wrote 152.
At next weeks meeting we're suppose to bring in one item for the local food bank per pound we want to lose. Since I want to lose 10.8 pounds I'll bring in 11 items. Then we have to stand up in front of everyone and Janis will ask us two questions. She wouldn't tell us the two questions, it's a "surprise".
If we make our goal on October 10 Janis will give us $5. These aren't real dollars but are for an auction she does at the end of the year. A really cool auction where you can bid on great prizes (things like a weekend for two at a Mt. Hood resort).
This got me really excited. I'm determined to be one of the winners come October 10.
1. Lose 10.8 pounds by October 10 - six weeks from today
2. Exercise
~~~cardio 7 times a week, with one non-gym day of cardio. Biking or walking.
40 minutes minimum cardio workouts
~~~strength training 6 times a week, 3 upper body workouts, 3 lower body workouts
40 minute minimum strength
I already do this, but I just need to keep doing it and do different exercises. Mix it up a bit.
3. Food
~~~Journal everything. Weigh and measure. No more estimating Points. Be exact.
~~~Eat fewer processed foods. No sugar-free ice cream.
~~~Eat more "filling" foods.
~~~Points limit per day = 20 base + 4 APs + 5 weeklies = 29 max. per day
4. Visualize.
~~~Put notes all over the house, the car, my cubicle with the number "152" written on it.
5. Water
~~~~Drink more water. Being too busy is not an excuse to slack on the water.
I'm super excited about this. I feel like my goal is within my reach. I can do this!
Slowing down but speeding up
Twice this week I drove past the gym on my way TO the gym. Another time this week instead of turning left onto the road to go TO the gym, I drove straight on the road that takes me to the freeway, which is the way to work. Each time I had to turn around and drive back to the gym.
Yesterday I was driving to work, on the freeway where the speed limit is 60 mph, and I was thinking about work. Traffic was light. I glanced down at the speedometer and it read 85 mph. I couldn't believe I was going that fast. I drive fast if I can, around 70, but 85! I immediately slowed down to a more reasonable 70 mph.
This is how people get in terrible accidents and either kill themselves or kill someone else. They get distracted, don't pay attention, and do really stupid things.
This is exactly how people gain all their weight back. The weight they fought so hard to lose. They get in a hurry. They don't put their health first. They're distracted. Everything and everyone is more important than paying attention to what they're doing. And this is exactly what I've been doing. Moving too fast through life, distracted, forgetting my main focus should be losing weight and eating healthy.
I've done this many times in my life. Lose a lot of weight, get bored, distracted or tired of the whole thing, and then I gain all my weight back, plus some. It's a vicious cycle I've fallen into for the last 30 years. In the beginning it was only ten or fifteen pounds I needed to lose. This time it was 104 pounds.
I've lost 77.2 pounds since February of 2008. I still need to lose another 26.8 pounds. That may not sound like a lot to some people, but for me it may as well be another 100 pounds. I am struggling to lose this last bit of weight.
I'm going to re-focus on getting to my goal weight. I'm going to do what it takes to get there. I know what to do, this isn't rocket science. I need to speed it up a bit now, but slow down in other areas of my life. I need to keep my eye on the prize.
I have a plan that I'll write about tomorrow. It's not terribly exciting, but it's a plan that I think will work for me.
Now I'm heading out to my Weight Watchers meeting. I'm hoping for a loss, but I won't be surprised with a gain. I have a plan so I have hope for the future.
Yesterday I was driving to work, on the freeway where the speed limit is 60 mph, and I was thinking about work. Traffic was light. I glanced down at the speedometer and it read 85 mph. I couldn't believe I was going that fast. I drive fast if I can, around 70, but 85! I immediately slowed down to a more reasonable 70 mph.
This is how people get in terrible accidents and either kill themselves or kill someone else. They get distracted, don't pay attention, and do really stupid things.
This is exactly how people gain all their weight back. The weight they fought so hard to lose. They get in a hurry. They don't put their health first. They're distracted. Everything and everyone is more important than paying attention to what they're doing. And this is exactly what I've been doing. Moving too fast through life, distracted, forgetting my main focus should be losing weight and eating healthy.
I've done this many times in my life. Lose a lot of weight, get bored, distracted or tired of the whole thing, and then I gain all my weight back, plus some. It's a vicious cycle I've fallen into for the last 30 years. In the beginning it was only ten or fifteen pounds I needed to lose. This time it was 104 pounds.
I've lost 77.2 pounds since February of 2008. I still need to lose another 26.8 pounds. That may not sound like a lot to some people, but for me it may as well be another 100 pounds. I am struggling to lose this last bit of weight.
I'm going to re-focus on getting to my goal weight. I'm going to do what it takes to get there. I know what to do, this isn't rocket science. I need to speed it up a bit now, but slow down in other areas of my life. I need to keep my eye on the prize.
I have a plan that I'll write about tomorrow. It's not terribly exciting, but it's a plan that I think will work for me.
Now I'm heading out to my Weight Watchers meeting. I'm hoping for a loss, but I won't be surprised with a gain. I have a plan so I have hope for the future.
Jumat, 28 Agustus 2009
Day 348 The Importance Level and Walking With Mom
Day 348
The Importance Level and Walking With Mom
I feel so weird right now. My body feels good, my vision is sharp, my muscles feel relaxed. So this is what it feels like to get a solid nine hours of sleep? Wow, nice. I needed it and I took it. It's Saturday morning already and below you'll find the Friday August 28th edition of this blog---I was too tired to post last night. Just couldn't function properly. I had a voice-mail greet me this morning, I still don't know exactly for sure who it is, all they said was “I'd like to report that my morning edition of the Daily Diary of a Winning Loser is missing, please have someone deliver it soon, thank you!” No problem, I'll call the circulation department right now! OK—In listening to it again for that quote, I figured out who it was. It's good to have friends, huh? I never feel right just going to bed without posting. In 348 days, it's happened less than 10 times. Just couldn't help it last night. Getting rest was the only option. I needed it and I took it. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do what's right for YOU. So, I'll rewind my brain now and do my best at recalling the events, thoughts, emotions, and choices that made up a wonderful Friday, and I'll do it from the perspective of Friday night. That can be tough, because it's sooo Saturday morning right now. Once again, Day 348:
Last night I had very little sleep and I did it with the intention of grabbing a nap during an hour and a half window in my afternoon. I'm really getting tired of writing about my sleep schedule. Sleep deprivation isn't healthy, I know that. It negatively effects the metabolism, I know that. I've 'decided' several times that I no longer will sacrifice sleep in the name of a busy schedule, and still here we are. Apparently it hasn't been an “Iron-Clad” decision, more of an “elastic” decision that can be stretched to accommodate the consequences of my schedule and my poor time management skills within, completely defeating the purpose of the decision in the first place. I just had a wonderful conversation with my mom and her sister, my aunt Kelli—about giving their weight loss journey the proper importance level in their life. When we don't give what we're doing the highest level of importance, it becomes too easy to rationalize bad choices. The same idea applies to my sleep schedule. I need to check where I set that importance level, because it's obviously too low.
One of the constant struggles I've dealt with involves my morning coffee. I was never a coffee drinker before I started doing a morning radio show. Before I became hooked on the morning brew, I'd just shoot some real Coke first thing when I woke up. My addiction to Coke-a-Cola was fierce, and for mainly the same reason: caffeine. I completely stopped drinking real pop as soon as I started this journey. And I very rarely drink diet pop with the exception of a diet 7up on occasion. I drink water all day now. Many times the water is flavored with a zero calorie green tea mix that's loaded with antioxidants, whatever those are. They must fight the oxidants or something. Good deal. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Coffee is something that I use. Way to sound like an addict Sean. This morning I limited myself to two cups with that 10 calorie a teaspoon non-dairy creamer. I still invested 60 calories in creamer. Some days are worse than others, I spent 170 calories one day just on coffee creamer. And that's my struggle. Not really that big of a deal right? Oh but wait! Did I just say “not that big of a deal” ?? That's exactly why I'll continue to enjoy my creamer calories that still seem so empty. The importance level of that struggle isn't high enough to even deserve a paragraph in these writings. Too late.
The importance level we set for things isn't something we just say. It's easy to say, “my weight loss efforts will be of utmost importance from this point forward.” It's ultimately set by our actions, not our words. If you find yourself making excuses and coming up with rationalizations that make bad choices seem alright, then maybe you need to check the importance level. Check it often, because it can deplete without you realizing. How do you check it? With complete honesty, that's your dipstick. Richard Simmons tweeted this today: “There is only one way to lose weight and keep it off. And it's by being truthful with yourself about the food...” 100% self-honesty is crucial to your success. I've written about this many times because it's something that I never did before with past failed attempts. Since day one nearly a year ago, this self-honesty policy has been firmly in place, and you know what kind of results I've had. The self-honesty component is vital to the mental changes required on this road to permanent success. Make this one of the most important things you've ever done. Give it the highest important level. Get completely honest with yourself about the habits you know are holding you back---and then get ready for an almost magically transformation of mind and body. Forget “almost,” it is magical.
I put in another “split shift” today. After leaving work this afternoon and grabbing that quick nap, I prepared to travel South to my hometown of Stillwater. Team Radio has a sports talk station in Stillwater and my job tonight was trying to figure out a few kinks in the on-air computer system. I really didn't plan on being there too long, maybe twenty minutes. Twenty minutes quickly turned into two and a half hours. After I left the Stillwater studio, I grabbed two 160 calorie tacos from Taco Mayo and headed for grandma's house. I had a nice visit with family, and even though it was getting crazy late, my mom and I hit the neighborhood streets for a good walk.
It was so wonderful to walk with her. I'm so proud of how far she's come. From her highest weight, she's actually down over 50 pounds. Her last weigh-in gave her another 3 ½ pound loss. I can tell by her actions that she's completely with me along this road. When I left the studio I called to let everyone know I'd be coming in for a short visit right after I picked up a couple of tacos. I asked if anyone needing anything---and nobody gave me an order! My mom loves tacos. Loves them like me. And like the old me, she never needed a good reason or a feeling of hunger to enjoy tacos. Late night taco runs were always a normal thing for us Anderson's. I can't tell you how many times I've heard her say “bring me a taco!” But not tonight. Not now. Her importance level is set really high. Her calorie budget for the day was exhausted and she said “no, no I don't need anything.” And then we walked. It was a beautiful thing my friend. My mom was always the queen of complication. She has every diet book and magazine article ever written on HOW to lose weight. The different opinions and philosophies did nothing but contradict and confuse her. And now she finally realizes that a simplistic approach filled with self-honesty, a good calorie budget, exercise, and truly changing our minds and attitudes about food and exercise is all she ever needed.
Rach, a fellow weight loss blogger and long time friend (find her at www.creatingthemeinside.blogspot.com )had a funny little happening today. She told me that she was in the drive thru at McDonald's getting ready to make some bad choices when suddenly my voice on a commercial came over the Oklahoma City radio station she was enjoying. She heard me and immediately changed her order to good choices. That's so cool. Way to go Rach! I don't think that was the effect the commercial intended to have on listeners (you were suppose to go spend large amounts of money at that advertiser), but seriously—that's awesome. Although I'm not sure if I want the mere sound of my voice to become the “good choices” police, but if it reminded you of the importance level of your journey, then great!
I arrived back home at 12:30am and I still had a couple of hundred calories remaining for the day. I grabbed one of those 60 calorie Joseph's flax seed, oat bran, and whole wheat pitas—some tomato sauce, low-fat part skim mozzarella, and some fresh mushrooms and “blammo” a 150 calorie pizza was on! I'm getting seriously addicted to these low calorie pizzas, I mean for real! I picked up the word “Blammo” from Jack during the interview. Thanks Jack. That's the 43rd time I've used that word since we spoke.
Speaking of that interview! It'll be available for your listening pleasure until sometime Monday evening, when it will be replaced with a promo announcement for the next exclusive Daily Diary of a Winning Loser interview. The next willing participant? Tony “The Anti-Jared” Posnanski. Find Tony here: www.theantijared.blogspot.com
At nearly 1am I found my place in front of the computer screen, opened the necessary programs, and immediately started fighting sleep. I decided to let sleep win this one. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Importance Level and Walking With Mom
I feel so weird right now. My body feels good, my vision is sharp, my muscles feel relaxed. So this is what it feels like to get a solid nine hours of sleep? Wow, nice. I needed it and I took it. It's Saturday morning already and below you'll find the Friday August 28th edition of this blog---I was too tired to post last night. Just couldn't function properly. I had a voice-mail greet me this morning, I still don't know exactly for sure who it is, all they said was “I'd like to report that my morning edition of the Daily Diary of a Winning Loser is missing, please have someone deliver it soon, thank you!” No problem, I'll call the circulation department right now! OK—In listening to it again for that quote, I figured out who it was. It's good to have friends, huh? I never feel right just going to bed without posting. In 348 days, it's happened less than 10 times. Just couldn't help it last night. Getting rest was the only option. I needed it and I took it. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do what's right for YOU. So, I'll rewind my brain now and do my best at recalling the events, thoughts, emotions, and choices that made up a wonderful Friday, and I'll do it from the perspective of Friday night. That can be tough, because it's sooo Saturday morning right now. Once again, Day 348:
Last night I had very little sleep and I did it with the intention of grabbing a nap during an hour and a half window in my afternoon. I'm really getting tired of writing about my sleep schedule. Sleep deprivation isn't healthy, I know that. It negatively effects the metabolism, I know that. I've 'decided' several times that I no longer will sacrifice sleep in the name of a busy schedule, and still here we are. Apparently it hasn't been an “Iron-Clad” decision, more of an “elastic” decision that can be stretched to accommodate the consequences of my schedule and my poor time management skills within, completely defeating the purpose of the decision in the first place. I just had a wonderful conversation with my mom and her sister, my aunt Kelli—about giving their weight loss journey the proper importance level in their life. When we don't give what we're doing the highest level of importance, it becomes too easy to rationalize bad choices. The same idea applies to my sleep schedule. I need to check where I set that importance level, because it's obviously too low.
One of the constant struggles I've dealt with involves my morning coffee. I was never a coffee drinker before I started doing a morning radio show. Before I became hooked on the morning brew, I'd just shoot some real Coke first thing when I woke up. My addiction to Coke-a-Cola was fierce, and for mainly the same reason: caffeine. I completely stopped drinking real pop as soon as I started this journey. And I very rarely drink diet pop with the exception of a diet 7up on occasion. I drink water all day now. Many times the water is flavored with a zero calorie green tea mix that's loaded with antioxidants, whatever those are. They must fight the oxidants or something. Good deal. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Coffee is something that I use. Way to sound like an addict Sean. This morning I limited myself to two cups with that 10 calorie a teaspoon non-dairy creamer. I still invested 60 calories in creamer. Some days are worse than others, I spent 170 calories one day just on coffee creamer. And that's my struggle. Not really that big of a deal right? Oh but wait! Did I just say “not that big of a deal” ?? That's exactly why I'll continue to enjoy my creamer calories that still seem so empty. The importance level of that struggle isn't high enough to even deserve a paragraph in these writings. Too late.
The importance level we set for things isn't something we just say. It's easy to say, “my weight loss efforts will be of utmost importance from this point forward.” It's ultimately set by our actions, not our words. If you find yourself making excuses and coming up with rationalizations that make bad choices seem alright, then maybe you need to check the importance level. Check it often, because it can deplete without you realizing. How do you check it? With complete honesty, that's your dipstick. Richard Simmons tweeted this today: “There is only one way to lose weight and keep it off. And it's by being truthful with yourself about the food...” 100% self-honesty is crucial to your success. I've written about this many times because it's something that I never did before with past failed attempts. Since day one nearly a year ago, this self-honesty policy has been firmly in place, and you know what kind of results I've had. The self-honesty component is vital to the mental changes required on this road to permanent success. Make this one of the most important things you've ever done. Give it the highest important level. Get completely honest with yourself about the habits you know are holding you back---and then get ready for an almost magically transformation of mind and body. Forget “almost,” it is magical.
I put in another “split shift” today. After leaving work this afternoon and grabbing that quick nap, I prepared to travel South to my hometown of Stillwater. Team Radio has a sports talk station in Stillwater and my job tonight was trying to figure out a few kinks in the on-air computer system. I really didn't plan on being there too long, maybe twenty minutes. Twenty minutes quickly turned into two and a half hours. After I left the Stillwater studio, I grabbed two 160 calorie tacos from Taco Mayo and headed for grandma's house. I had a nice visit with family, and even though it was getting crazy late, my mom and I hit the neighborhood streets for a good walk.
It was so wonderful to walk with her. I'm so proud of how far she's come. From her highest weight, she's actually down over 50 pounds. Her last weigh-in gave her another 3 ½ pound loss. I can tell by her actions that she's completely with me along this road. When I left the studio I called to let everyone know I'd be coming in for a short visit right after I picked up a couple of tacos. I asked if anyone needing anything---and nobody gave me an order! My mom loves tacos. Loves them like me. And like the old me, she never needed a good reason or a feeling of hunger to enjoy tacos. Late night taco runs were always a normal thing for us Anderson's. I can't tell you how many times I've heard her say “bring me a taco!” But not tonight. Not now. Her importance level is set really high. Her calorie budget for the day was exhausted and she said “no, no I don't need anything.” And then we walked. It was a beautiful thing my friend. My mom was always the queen of complication. She has every diet book and magazine article ever written on HOW to lose weight. The different opinions and philosophies did nothing but contradict and confuse her. And now she finally realizes that a simplistic approach filled with self-honesty, a good calorie budget, exercise, and truly changing our minds and attitudes about food and exercise is all she ever needed.
Rach, a fellow weight loss blogger and long time friend (find her at www.creatingthemeinside.blogspot.com )had a funny little happening today. She told me that she was in the drive thru at McDonald's getting ready to make some bad choices when suddenly my voice on a commercial came over the Oklahoma City radio station she was enjoying. She heard me and immediately changed her order to good choices. That's so cool. Way to go Rach! I don't think that was the effect the commercial intended to have on listeners (you were suppose to go spend large amounts of money at that advertiser), but seriously—that's awesome. Although I'm not sure if I want the mere sound of my voice to become the “good choices” police, but if it reminded you of the importance level of your journey, then great!
I arrived back home at 12:30am and I still had a couple of hundred calories remaining for the day. I grabbed one of those 60 calorie Joseph's flax seed, oat bran, and whole wheat pitas—some tomato sauce, low-fat part skim mozzarella, and some fresh mushrooms and “blammo” a 150 calorie pizza was on! I'm getting seriously addicted to these low calorie pizzas, I mean for real! I picked up the word “Blammo” from Jack during the interview. Thanks Jack. That's the 43rd time I've used that word since we spoke.
Speaking of that interview! It'll be available for your listening pleasure until sometime Monday evening, when it will be replaced with a promo announcement for the next exclusive Daily Diary of a Winning Loser interview. The next willing participant? Tony “The Anti-Jared” Posnanski. Find Tony here: www.theantijared.blogspot.com
At nearly 1am I found my place in front of the computer screen, opened the necessary programs, and immediately started fighting sleep. I decided to let sleep win this one. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The insomnia
For about two weeks I've been waking up at about 3 a.m. (after going to bed around 10 or 11p.m.). It's like a switch is turned on in my head and I'm suddenly wide awake. I immediately start thinking of work, of all the things I need to do, and I can't go back to sleep.
I've tried all my tricks that I've used over the years to go back to sleep, but they're not working for me. I usually just give in to it and get up. Often writing down some of my work tasks, checking my work email, even sending work emails.
Around 4:30 a.m. I get dressed for the my workout and drag my tired butt to the gym, getting there around 5 a.m. My workouts are still pretty good, some mornings better than others, some mornings I can tell the lack of sleep is catching up with me because I'm just so tired.
I know how bad this is for me, but I seem powerless to stop it. Several years ago I read a book about stress and the effect it has on your body. Weight gain was only one of the issues, the authors even claimed it could more serious problems such as cancer.
Besides the serious health issues is the simply problem that I'm tired. Very tired. So tired that some days I don't think I'm going to make it through the day.
I have no problem going to sleep at night. In fact, I'm practically asleep before my head hits the pillow. Literally.
Sometimes I take a sleeping pill, just other the counter stuff. This will make me sleep through the night, but then I wake up groggy and exhausted. I hate that feeling.
My only hope is when my current project at work ends things will be better and my sleep pattern will return to normal. Our first beta deployment is tentatively scheduled for September 28 in San Francisco. I hope I live that long. Right now, I'm not so sure.
The food
I'm doing pretty good. I've been eating too much at night lately, but I just don't care. The only really unhealthy thing I've eaten this week were those tortilla chips a couple nights ago. I ate more than the two servings, more like five servings. But I didn't eat the whole bag, which is good. In the "old" days, about two years ago, I would have eaten the entire bag.
I ate out twice this week, the sushi (too much but all healthy) and the Italian Chop Chop salad without the salami that left me starving. That reminds me, I ate Sweet Tarts at the movies and a couple cups of movie popcorn. My weigh in on Saturday is probably going to be bad. Again, right now I just don't care.
Lately I don't have time to eat my mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks at work or drink all my water. I have too many meetings and too much to do. I keep telling myself I need to slow down, not be in such a frantic rush all the time, but I just can't seem to follow through on this thought.
This post
I feel like I'm rambling. I'm writing just like my brain is running lately. Disconnected thoughts that aren't really focused. It's almost like I'm heading towards some sort of mental breakdown.
I know the stress is getting to me. I see a spattering of "I don't care" in this post. That's really not like me. For me to not care about eating too much or not worry about my weigh in, is a sign something is terribly wrong in my life. I guess my brain can only worry about so much at a time and right now my job is my central focus.
Balance in all things, right? How does one do that when one part of your life consumes you? Sucks all your energy and leaves you left with nothing for yourself.
It's 4:36 a.m. I have to go to the gym now. Thank God it's Friday. Seriously. Thank God.
8am - back from the gym. I feel 100% better now...in fact, I feel like dancing! I care! I really do care about what I eat and my weight. I want to get 100% back on track...and that's my goal this weekend. To set up a real plan on how to do this when faced with overwhelming work issues.
I really changed up my upper body workout this morning. I did four machines I haven't used in a long time and four dumbbell exercises I haven't done in months. Everything was new, except for Sadie (the old "StairMistress"). I'm so in love with her I hate doing other cardio. I did the bike and elliptical yesterday so I do take a break from her occasionally, but she's my first love. :)
I've tried all my tricks that I've used over the years to go back to sleep, but they're not working for me. I usually just give in to it and get up. Often writing down some of my work tasks, checking my work email, even sending work emails.
Around 4:30 a.m. I get dressed for the my workout and drag my tired butt to the gym, getting there around 5 a.m. My workouts are still pretty good, some mornings better than others, some mornings I can tell the lack of sleep is catching up with me because I'm just so tired.
I know how bad this is for me, but I seem powerless to stop it. Several years ago I read a book about stress and the effect it has on your body. Weight gain was only one of the issues, the authors even claimed it could more serious problems such as cancer.
Besides the serious health issues is the simply problem that I'm tired. Very tired. So tired that some days I don't think I'm going to make it through the day.
I have no problem going to sleep at night. In fact, I'm practically asleep before my head hits the pillow. Literally.
Sometimes I take a sleeping pill, just other the counter stuff. This will make me sleep through the night, but then I wake up groggy and exhausted. I hate that feeling.
My only hope is when my current project at work ends things will be better and my sleep pattern will return to normal. Our first beta deployment is tentatively scheduled for September 28 in San Francisco. I hope I live that long. Right now, I'm not so sure.
The food
I'm doing pretty good. I've been eating too much at night lately, but I just don't care. The only really unhealthy thing I've eaten this week were those tortilla chips a couple nights ago. I ate more than the two servings, more like five servings. But I didn't eat the whole bag, which is good. In the "old" days, about two years ago, I would have eaten the entire bag.
I ate out twice this week, the sushi (too much but all healthy) and the Italian Chop Chop salad without the salami that left me starving. That reminds me, I ate Sweet Tarts at the movies and a couple cups of movie popcorn. My weigh in on Saturday is probably going to be bad. Again, right now I just don't care.
Lately I don't have time to eat my mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks at work or drink all my water. I have too many meetings and too much to do. I keep telling myself I need to slow down, not be in such a frantic rush all the time, but I just can't seem to follow through on this thought.
This post
I feel like I'm rambling. I'm writing just like my brain is running lately. Disconnected thoughts that aren't really focused. It's almost like I'm heading towards some sort of mental breakdown.
I know the stress is getting to me. I see a spattering of "I don't care" in this post. That's really not like me. For me to not care about eating too much or not worry about my weigh in, is a sign something is terribly wrong in my life. I guess my brain can only worry about so much at a time and right now my job is my central focus.
Balance in all things, right? How does one do that when one part of your life consumes you? Sucks all your energy and leaves you left with nothing for yourself.
It's 4:36 a.m. I have to go to the gym now. Thank God it's Friday. Seriously. Thank God.
8am - back from the gym. I feel 100% better now...in fact, I feel like dancing! I care! I really do care about what I eat and my weight. I want to get 100% back on track...and that's my goal this weekend. To set up a real plan on how to do this when faced with overwhelming work issues.
I really changed up my upper body workout this morning. I did four machines I haven't used in a long time and four dumbbell exercises I haven't done in months. Everything was new, except for Sadie (the old "StairMistress"). I'm so in love with her I hate doing other cardio. I did the bike and elliptical yesterday so I do take a break from her occasionally, but she's my first love. :)
Kamis, 27 Agustus 2009
Day 347 The Most Amazing Feeling and The End of The Binge
Day 347
The Most Amazing Feeling and The End of The Binge
You know what thrills me? When someone sends me an e-mail like Tina did today. She told me that she had spent the last few days reading every single day of this journey—all 346 days, and that she's never felt more inspired. She compared it to the first time she listened to a Jillian Michaels podcast. That's a huge compliment my friend. Are you sure about that? Well, here...I hope you don't mind Tina, here's some of what she had to say: “I just finished reading the whole thing (instead of getting any work done for the last few days!) and I can't say I've ever been so inspired.”... “I could go on all day about how much I was inspired by your blog but I'll try to sum it up. I feel like I felt the first time I heard one of Jillian Michael's podcasts. Everything makes so much sense and seems easy but Jillian was never obese. Hearing these things from you, a real person, someone like me, was exactly what I needed.” I never get tired of hearing these “reader reviews,” if you will. And it has nothing to do with patting myself on the back. It's not about me. It's about you. It has everything to do with the power of your journey. You have the power to really demonstrate a positive change to your friends, your family, and to complete strangers from all over the world. You have the power to inspire change. I'm nobody special or different than you. I'm a guy who spent nearly two decades at over 500 pounds and who finally broke it down for myself and family into easy to digest simplified terms. That's the wonderful thing about sharing your journey. It's the most amazing feeling to know that maybe your story has helped someone help themselves. Tina, thank you! You can find her blog at www.fatgirldivesin.blogspot.com
The other day I was visiting Jack Sh*t's blog and I ran across a comment that bothered me a little. It doesn't bother me really now. OK, it still does a bit or else I wouldn't be writing about it. I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something to the effect of: you (speaking to Jack) sounded like a real person, not like a character Sean has to be...” I immediately told myself this person doesn't know you and has obviously never read your blog, she doesn't understand what she's saying. So just so it's clear to anyone new to these pages: I'm not playing a character. I'm me. I'm a real person. I'm not perfect and I'm definitely not playing a “character.” She was really just trying to make Jack feel better because Jack said he thought he sounded like a doofus, considering her intentions...I'm good with it all. And Jack, you seriously do not sound like a doofus. You sound like a real person. A real honest, intelligent, and super talented person. I'll admit, there may have been some bad acting on my part in that fun little intro---but I was playing the part of me.
A blogger friend of mine asked me a question recently. She wants to know how I deal with the urge to binge. That urge doesn't happen these days, but early on---Oh my, it was an issue at times. So what got me through? From the very beginning, I knew that if this time was really going to be the last, if it was really going to be different, I had to analyze my past failed attempts. One key flaw was that I never really gave this journey the importance level it deserved. When I felt that crazy unexplained urge to binge, I would always rationalize my way into feeling OK about “letting loose” a little. I would binge and then rarely ever be back on track in a solid way. Binging was no longer an acceptable thing this time. When those crazy thoughts would come---I would have to be honest enough with myself to recognize the danger threatening my journey. It's a real war inside the brain. But I had given this journey the utmost of importance in my life, and if I binge---it's going to surely be ripped away from me. I couldn't let that happen. This is too important. So I fought those crazy thoughts---I beat them down. Just tonight I commented a struggling friend and suggested this: Whenever something is threatening your journey---anything really---a thought, a circumstance, an emotion, an unexplained yearning---whatever it is---treat it like it's an intruder trying to kidnap one of your kids. Treat it like it's someone trying to kill you. If either one of those situations were happening, you would fight to the death to defend your family and yourself. Make your journey that important. Because it really is. You have to be strict with yourself. A gradual decline in your resolve can eat away at your journey slowly---with equally deadly consequences. Defend it with everything. Don't let anything steal this away from you.
Here's an excerpt from Day 24: My level of strictness is equal to my desire to be successful on this mission. I want it and I want it bad, and I know myself better than anyone, I know that if I give myself an inch, I'll eat the whole thing. I feel like this is training for a healthier lifestyle. I'm training myself to understand food better, to discover flavors, to understand proper portion amounts, to really better understand exercise and nutrition benefits, I'm in training for a healthier, longer, more satisfying life. And I have to do it on the straight and narrow. When I put my head on that pillow I have to feel good about my calorie and exercise performance. And when you feel good about what you're doing, your confidence goes way up, your results start to add up, and you'll never be kept up by guilt. Guilt makes us feel bad about ourselves and that's when we're the most vulnerable to temptation, and I understand how that can snowball into a complete crash. I'm keeping it between the lines.
The only acceptable level of binge control is complete prevention. Fight for your success. Fight hard and soon it's not a fight anymore. Those crazy urges go away because they know that you'll stand up for yourself against them. Tricky, because the enemy you're fighting is the old you.
Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers for Courtney. She's feeling much better and continues to take her medication. She'll be back in school in the morning. After dinner tonight, Courtney had a math tutoring class at the high school. Didn't we just talk about math recently? Courtney has aced every math class so far, I'm so proud of her! But she's done it through hard work and consistent effort in learning. She'll make tutoring a twice a week requirement if she needs it to fully understand the work. Irene and I headed off for the YMCA for some weight training and a friendly little game of racquetball. We took along the camera for some pictures in the weight room. We're both sore now.
Irene is at work and the morning alarm will sound soon. Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
That was a tough rep
Smile through it baby! She may be stronger than me!
She's so sweet---working the biceps
Working the “serious” pose
Good form baby, good form!
I always get this look when I'm lifting...fifteen pounds.
Oh, be careful baby! So beautiful...very nice.
The Most Amazing Feeling and The End of The Binge
You know what thrills me? When someone sends me an e-mail like Tina did today. She told me that she had spent the last few days reading every single day of this journey—all 346 days, and that she's never felt more inspired. She compared it to the first time she listened to a Jillian Michaels podcast. That's a huge compliment my friend. Are you sure about that? Well, here...I hope you don't mind Tina, here's some of what she had to say: “I just finished reading the whole thing (instead of getting any work done for the last few days!) and I can't say I've ever been so inspired.”... “I could go on all day about how much I was inspired by your blog but I'll try to sum it up. I feel like I felt the first time I heard one of Jillian Michael's podcasts. Everything makes so much sense and seems easy but Jillian was never obese. Hearing these things from you, a real person, someone like me, was exactly what I needed.” I never get tired of hearing these “reader reviews,” if you will. And it has nothing to do with patting myself on the back. It's not about me. It's about you. It has everything to do with the power of your journey. You have the power to really demonstrate a positive change to your friends, your family, and to complete strangers from all over the world. You have the power to inspire change. I'm nobody special or different than you. I'm a guy who spent nearly two decades at over 500 pounds and who finally broke it down for myself and family into easy to digest simplified terms. That's the wonderful thing about sharing your journey. It's the most amazing feeling to know that maybe your story has helped someone help themselves. Tina, thank you! You can find her blog at www.fatgirldivesin.blogspot.com
The other day I was visiting Jack Sh*t's blog and I ran across a comment that bothered me a little. It doesn't bother me really now. OK, it still does a bit or else I wouldn't be writing about it. I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something to the effect of: you (speaking to Jack) sounded like a real person, not like a character Sean has to be...” I immediately told myself this person doesn't know you and has obviously never read your blog, she doesn't understand what she's saying. So just so it's clear to anyone new to these pages: I'm not playing a character. I'm me. I'm a real person. I'm not perfect and I'm definitely not playing a “character.” She was really just trying to make Jack feel better because Jack said he thought he sounded like a doofus, considering her intentions...I'm good with it all. And Jack, you seriously do not sound like a doofus. You sound like a real person. A real honest, intelligent, and super talented person. I'll admit, there may have been some bad acting on my part in that fun little intro---but I was playing the part of me.
A blogger friend of mine asked me a question recently. She wants to know how I deal with the urge to binge. That urge doesn't happen these days, but early on---Oh my, it was an issue at times. So what got me through? From the very beginning, I knew that if this time was really going to be the last, if it was really going to be different, I had to analyze my past failed attempts. One key flaw was that I never really gave this journey the importance level it deserved. When I felt that crazy unexplained urge to binge, I would always rationalize my way into feeling OK about “letting loose” a little. I would binge and then rarely ever be back on track in a solid way. Binging was no longer an acceptable thing this time. When those crazy thoughts would come---I would have to be honest enough with myself to recognize the danger threatening my journey. It's a real war inside the brain. But I had given this journey the utmost of importance in my life, and if I binge---it's going to surely be ripped away from me. I couldn't let that happen. This is too important. So I fought those crazy thoughts---I beat them down. Just tonight I commented a struggling friend and suggested this: Whenever something is threatening your journey---anything really---a thought, a circumstance, an emotion, an unexplained yearning---whatever it is---treat it like it's an intruder trying to kidnap one of your kids. Treat it like it's someone trying to kill you. If either one of those situations were happening, you would fight to the death to defend your family and yourself. Make your journey that important. Because it really is. You have to be strict with yourself. A gradual decline in your resolve can eat away at your journey slowly---with equally deadly consequences. Defend it with everything. Don't let anything steal this away from you.
Here's an excerpt from Day 24: My level of strictness is equal to my desire to be successful on this mission. I want it and I want it bad, and I know myself better than anyone, I know that if I give myself an inch, I'll eat the whole thing. I feel like this is training for a healthier lifestyle. I'm training myself to understand food better, to discover flavors, to understand proper portion amounts, to really better understand exercise and nutrition benefits, I'm in training for a healthier, longer, more satisfying life. And I have to do it on the straight and narrow. When I put my head on that pillow I have to feel good about my calorie and exercise performance. And when you feel good about what you're doing, your confidence goes way up, your results start to add up, and you'll never be kept up by guilt. Guilt makes us feel bad about ourselves and that's when we're the most vulnerable to temptation, and I understand how that can snowball into a complete crash. I'm keeping it between the lines.
The only acceptable level of binge control is complete prevention. Fight for your success. Fight hard and soon it's not a fight anymore. Those crazy urges go away because they know that you'll stand up for yourself against them. Tricky, because the enemy you're fighting is the old you.
Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers for Courtney. She's feeling much better and continues to take her medication. She'll be back in school in the morning. After dinner tonight, Courtney had a math tutoring class at the high school. Didn't we just talk about math recently? Courtney has aced every math class so far, I'm so proud of her! But she's done it through hard work and consistent effort in learning. She'll make tutoring a twice a week requirement if she needs it to fully understand the work. Irene and I headed off for the YMCA for some weight training and a friendly little game of racquetball. We took along the camera for some pictures in the weight room. We're both sore now.
Irene is at work and the morning alarm will sound soon. Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
That was a tough rep
Smile through it baby! She may be stronger than me!
She's so sweet---working the biceps
Working the “serious” pose
Good form baby, good form!
I always get this look when I'm lifting...fifteen pounds.
Oh, be careful baby! So beautiful...very nice.
Rabu, 26 Agustus 2009
Work sucks
The title of this post says it all. Work sucks big time lately. No boring details, just know it really sucks to be me lately. I know I should be glad I have a job, but they're killing me. A slow and painful and tortuous death.
I skipped my morning workout because I had to be in the office at 6:30am to take a call from our vendor in Tulsa. I made up for it tonight with an hour and half workout. It was really nice not to worry about gym guy.
Big event of my evening was I ate tortilla chips in front of my husband. He bought them and left them on the counter. So I measured out two servings and ate them. He had the nerve to say, "you're not suppose to eat those". I told him "you're not suppose to bring them in the house! If they're here you know I'll eat them!" (and yes, the "!" was used in the conversation, at least on my part).
We watched Dr. Phil tonight, and I rarely watch him anymore (he kind of bugs me). Actually, I made my husband watch it with me. It was about couples not having sex. We watched it, and talked about it afterwards. We have work to do in that area, but not tonight. I'm exhausted.
Actually, I'm just too tired to even think right now, much less post anything even semi-intelligent . Is that a word "semi-intelligent"...it looks kind of "stupid"?
I skipped my morning workout because I had to be in the office at 6:30am to take a call from our vendor in Tulsa. I made up for it tonight with an hour and half workout. It was really nice not to worry about gym guy.
Big event of my evening was I ate tortilla chips in front of my husband. He bought them and left them on the counter. So I measured out two servings and ate them. He had the nerve to say, "you're not suppose to eat those". I told him "you're not suppose to bring them in the house! If they're here you know I'll eat them!" (and yes, the "!" was used in the conversation, at least on my part).
We watched Dr. Phil tonight, and I rarely watch him anymore (he kind of bugs me). Actually, I made my husband watch it with me. It was about couples not having sex. We watched it, and talked about it afterwards. We have work to do in that area, but not tonight. I'm exhausted.
Actually, I'm just too tired to even think right now, much less post anything even semi-intelligent . Is that a word "semi-intelligent"...it looks kind of "stupid"?
Day 346 Don't Sleep and Write and Bend Without Breaking
Day 346
Don't Sleep and Write and Bend Without Breaking
OK. This isn't really where this post began. It really started last night after several hours of severe weather coverage at the radio station. It started with “when I was a kid...” Oh boy, nothing can get me started like “when I was a kid...” The problem? I was half asleep. I never really know what will inspire me to write, where I'm going with something until I'm already on my way. I have a hard time saying “I'm just going to do a quick post!” If inspiration hits, I can't help it. Unless I'm falling asleep and struggling to intertwine two wonderful points about determination, focus, and simplifying this wonderful road we're on. I was getting somewhere, but was just too tired to pull it all together. I was sound asleep by the first line of the third paragraph. I hit the wall. Waking up and finishing the post, forget about making it make sense, was not happening. It's 5:40am now. I'm headed to the studio for the morning show. Here's my half-asleep attempt at making some profound points:
When I was a kid I use to dream of being a meteorologist. I was completely fascinated by weather and the television weather coverage on stormy Oklahoma days and nights. I was born and raised right in the middle of tornado alley. One of my most vivid childhood memories happened at four years old. It involved my grandparents, mom, and aunt all jumping in the car in the middle of a hail storm with the tornado sirens blasting. A vehicle is the last place you really want to be during a tornado warning, but we were headed for shelter with screams and tears and my grandpa instructing “everybody shut up and calm down.” If he was scared, he certainly didn't show it. He was a man that served in World War Two on a battleship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. He had to live and survive kamikaze pilots and fierce close range gun battles. It was going to take more than a tornado to shake him. Nothing was going to stop him from getting his family to a proper shelter. He was completely focused. This memory was burned in my brain at four and led to a healthy fascination with weather. In my pre-teen years I read every book on tornadoes and hail stones, I was completely hooked. Then at around the age of 13, somebody told me that becoming a meteorologist was really hard and involved a bunch of super complicated math. Hard? Really? I was immediately deflated and heart broken. I hated math, always struggled with it, feared it really. If math was standing in the way of my dream career as a TV meteorologist, I'd pick something else to obsess over. I immediately gave up that dream because somebody told me it was hard to accomplish. And I completely believed it.
My entire life I've heard that losing weight was hard. Often times the thought of it being so hard would leave me heartbroken and deflated, completely hopeless. I believed it. Many people believe it. Losing weight is hard, everybody says it, it must be true! Whenever something became hard to do, I would simply not do it anymore. It was much easier to pretend like I didn't care and eat whatever and how much ever I wanted. Finally the day came in my life when I had to face my weight problem or give up and let it eventually kill me and my family. I had to get focused. I had to get us to shelter. I had to change the way I thought about losing weight. 346 days ago I knew that I had to get over this perception of losing weight being hard. I had to simplify the process. I had to make it easy. I had to believe it could be easy. If I made it complicated, we were doomed.
Eating less and exercising more would drop the weight, but I had done that before and gained it all back. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Yep, totally gone. Isn't that cute? Could you see where I was so desperately trying to go with all that?
I'll give you the quick rundown for Wednesday: Courtney had to go to the doctor last evening with flu-like symptoms. Irene took her as I went back to work for weather coverage. It completely changed our dinner plans, our workout plans, and my blog reading and writing plans. But sometimes we have to adjust on the fly. We have to be flexible enough to bend without breaking.
Courtney is going to be alright. She's on antibiotics and bed rest. It's not swine flu, although she had all the signs! Thank goodness!
I'm sure we'll get back to normal of some sort today. I certainly hope so. Goodnight, or uh...Good morning and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My grandpa during World War Two
Don't Sleep and Write and Bend Without Breaking
OK. This isn't really where this post began. It really started last night after several hours of severe weather coverage at the radio station. It started with “when I was a kid...” Oh boy, nothing can get me started like “when I was a kid...” The problem? I was half asleep. I never really know what will inspire me to write, where I'm going with something until I'm already on my way. I have a hard time saying “I'm just going to do a quick post!” If inspiration hits, I can't help it. Unless I'm falling asleep and struggling to intertwine two wonderful points about determination, focus, and simplifying this wonderful road we're on. I was getting somewhere, but was just too tired to pull it all together. I was sound asleep by the first line of the third paragraph. I hit the wall. Waking up and finishing the post, forget about making it make sense, was not happening. It's 5:40am now. I'm headed to the studio for the morning show. Here's my half-asleep attempt at making some profound points:
When I was a kid I use to dream of being a meteorologist. I was completely fascinated by weather and the television weather coverage on stormy Oklahoma days and nights. I was born and raised right in the middle of tornado alley. One of my most vivid childhood memories happened at four years old. It involved my grandparents, mom, and aunt all jumping in the car in the middle of a hail storm with the tornado sirens blasting. A vehicle is the last place you really want to be during a tornado warning, but we were headed for shelter with screams and tears and my grandpa instructing “everybody shut up and calm down.” If he was scared, he certainly didn't show it. He was a man that served in World War Two on a battleship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. He had to live and survive kamikaze pilots and fierce close range gun battles. It was going to take more than a tornado to shake him. Nothing was going to stop him from getting his family to a proper shelter. He was completely focused. This memory was burned in my brain at four and led to a healthy fascination with weather. In my pre-teen years I read every book on tornadoes and hail stones, I was completely hooked. Then at around the age of 13, somebody told me that becoming a meteorologist was really hard and involved a bunch of super complicated math. Hard? Really? I was immediately deflated and heart broken. I hated math, always struggled with it, feared it really. If math was standing in the way of my dream career as a TV meteorologist, I'd pick something else to obsess over. I immediately gave up that dream because somebody told me it was hard to accomplish. And I completely believed it.
My entire life I've heard that losing weight was hard. Often times the thought of it being so hard would leave me heartbroken and deflated, completely hopeless. I believed it. Many people believe it. Losing weight is hard, everybody says it, it must be true! Whenever something became hard to do, I would simply not do it anymore. It was much easier to pretend like I didn't care and eat whatever and how much ever I wanted. Finally the day came in my life when I had to face my weight problem or give up and let it eventually kill me and my family. I had to get focused. I had to get us to shelter. I had to change the way I thought about losing weight. 346 days ago I knew that I had to get over this perception of losing weight being hard. I had to simplify the process. I had to make it easy. I had to believe it could be easy. If I made it complicated, we were doomed.
Eating less and exercising more would drop the weight, but I had done that before and gained it all back. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Yep, totally gone. Isn't that cute? Could you see where I was so desperately trying to go with all that?
I'll give you the quick rundown for Wednesday: Courtney had to go to the doctor last evening with flu-like symptoms. Irene took her as I went back to work for weather coverage. It completely changed our dinner plans, our workout plans, and my blog reading and writing plans. But sometimes we have to adjust on the fly. We have to be flexible enough to bend without breaking.
Courtney is going to be alright. She's on antibiotics and bed rest. It's not swine flu, although she had all the signs! Thank goodness!
I'm sure we'll get back to normal of some sort today. I certainly hope so. Goodnight, or uh...Good morning and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My grandpa during World War Two
Selasa, 25 Agustus 2009
forgetaboutit
The binges
I'm going to stop talking so much about my binges. I've beaten that dead horse to death. Yes, I definitely have a problem with binge eating, but not every night, just some nights. Sometimes a few nights in a row and then I'm okay for a few nights. I don't know, maybe that's normal. What is normal anyway, does anyone even know?
I noticed the more I talked about the binge eating, the more obsessive I became about it. I still want to stop it, but the obsessing about it needs to stop first. I'm just making it worse by talking about it all the time.
Instead, I'll let you all know how it's going each week, if I've figured anything out. I'll share any tricks or tips on how to stop it, that is if I actually ever figure out how to stop it.
My food
Why does every social get together have to revolve around food? Last night it was sushi when I met up with two girlfriends to celebrate our August birthdays. We had a great time, but I ate about 15 pieces of sushi (too much). Then I came home and was starving so I ate a bunch of other crap. None of which were filling foods. Sushi is definitely not a filling food for me.
This afternoon I left work early for an early dinner and a movie with another girlfriend. It was some Mama something place for dinner, Italian. Yes, a dieter's worse nightmare. I ordered an Italian Chop Chop salad without the salami. It was lettuce, tomatoes, smoked Gouda, smoked turkey and a couple slices of avocado, with a balsamic vinaigrette. It was delicious but very little Gouda or turkey and also the smallest salad I've ever seen. Which led to SweetTarts and a few handfuls of movie popcorn.
The movie
The Time Traveler's Wife. I read the book a couple years ago and cried. Today I cried while watching the movie. A total and complete chick flick. Something my husband, who will usually go to chick flicks with me, actually said no way he was going to see this movie. Probably because when I was reading the book I kept telling him the story. He said it was the stupidest premise for a book that he'd ever heard. I loved the book and loved the movie.
The gym
Dear God, please make him go away! What is the deal with the 38-ear old guy that keeps hanging around me and insists on telling me his life story and all his girl problems. Today it was how his 53-year old girlfriend had broken up with him the day before. He was asking me all kinds of questions as to why I thought she broke up with him. Maybe you talk too much!
He's making me crazy. When I see him I try to sneak and go to one of the other workout rooms. It's kind of ruining my mornings. I've tried the headphones, the "I really need to workout and can't talk", the "I'm really in a rush this morning and have to keep moving". None of it's working. He hangs around me like a lost puppy dog. I know he wants me to be his friend, but news flash, I don't want to be his freaking friend!
I'm at my wits end on this one.
Pamela
If you're fan of Pamela (and who isn't?), her blog is back up. She had a little technical difficulty and disappeared on us for a while. Stop by and say hi to her and welcome her back to blogland. I, for one, sure did miss her.
I'm going to stop talking so much about my binges. I've beaten that dead horse to death. Yes, I definitely have a problem with binge eating, but not every night, just some nights. Sometimes a few nights in a row and then I'm okay for a few nights. I don't know, maybe that's normal. What is normal anyway, does anyone even know?
I noticed the more I talked about the binge eating, the more obsessive I became about it. I still want to stop it, but the obsessing about it needs to stop first. I'm just making it worse by talking about it all the time.
Instead, I'll let you all know how it's going each week, if I've figured anything out. I'll share any tricks or tips on how to stop it, that is if I actually ever figure out how to stop it.
My food
Why does every social get together have to revolve around food? Last night it was sushi when I met up with two girlfriends to celebrate our August birthdays. We had a great time, but I ate about 15 pieces of sushi (too much). Then I came home and was starving so I ate a bunch of other crap. None of which were filling foods. Sushi is definitely not a filling food for me.
This afternoon I left work early for an early dinner and a movie with another girlfriend. It was some Mama something place for dinner, Italian. Yes, a dieter's worse nightmare. I ordered an Italian Chop Chop salad without the salami. It was lettuce, tomatoes, smoked Gouda, smoked turkey and a couple slices of avocado, with a balsamic vinaigrette. It was delicious but very little Gouda or turkey and also the smallest salad I've ever seen. Which led to SweetTarts and a few handfuls of movie popcorn.
The movie
The Time Traveler's Wife. I read the book a couple years ago and cried. Today I cried while watching the movie. A total and complete chick flick. Something my husband, who will usually go to chick flicks with me, actually said no way he was going to see this movie. Probably because when I was reading the book I kept telling him the story. He said it was the stupidest premise for a book that he'd ever heard. I loved the book and loved the movie.
The gym
Dear God, please make him go away! What is the deal with the 38-ear old guy that keeps hanging around me and insists on telling me his life story and all his girl problems. Today it was how his 53-year old girlfriend had broken up with him the day before. He was asking me all kinds of questions as to why I thought she broke up with him. Maybe you talk too much!
He's making me crazy. When I see him I try to sneak and go to one of the other workout rooms. It's kind of ruining my mornings. I've tried the headphones, the "I really need to workout and can't talk", the "I'm really in a rush this morning and have to keep moving". None of it's working. He hangs around me like a lost puppy dog. I know he wants me to be his friend, but news flash, I don't want to be his freaking friend!
I'm at my wits end on this one.
Pamela
If you're fan of Pamela (and who isn't?), her blog is back up. She had a little technical difficulty and disappeared on us for a while. Stop by and say hi to her and welcome her back to blogland. I, for one, sure did miss her.
Day 345 Getting To Know Jack and Family Weight Training
Day 345
Getting To Know Jack and Family Weight Training
The first Daily Diary of a Winning Loser audio blogger interview is posted and ready for your listening pleasure. Just click play and brace yourself for Jack Sh*t Gettin' Fit! (If you haven't already—find his blog at www.jackfit.blogspot.com ) Jack was very interesting to talk to, very relaxed and he sounded nothing like I imagined. Talking with him and the resulting interview really gave me a closer understanding of this blogger I follow so faithfully. He's very private and mysterious in many ways, and at the same time very honest and real, just one of us. His anonymity is extremely important to him, and I respect that 100%. His humor is like the holiday goodies you enjoy before opening the big gifts. The big gifts being his sincerely written personal post of struggle, triumph, and perseverance. His writing talent and discipline is amazing. And no matter what kind of mood I'm in, a wonderfully written post from Jack can break through and often make me laugh out loud, lifting whatever is weighing me down. Master Jack, wonderful interview my friend. I really thought I had lost you with that last question, but you handled it in pure Jack Sh*t fashion. Thank you sincerely.
I've been extremely busy today and haven't had much time to read or comment blogs. I always feel horrible when I don't. I'm planning on devoting some time tomorrow afternoon to catching up on many of my favorites. Your support of my journey through reading and commenting my blog has been an amazing difference maker in my life. I may not know you personally, but through reading and following your blog, and realizing all we have in common along this road to better health, I seriously consider you a friend. When I say “my friend” this and “my friend” that-- within these pages, I sincerely mean those words.
As many of my friends know, one of my biggest challenges and the biggest nemesis to my metabolism is time management. Things still get done when I fail to manage my time properly. I most always get in my workout and I always write a post no matter what, but often at the expense of sleep, and that negatively effects my metabolism. The solution is strict time management. It's a skill that I've never used before—and I'm really trying to learn how.
We enjoyed an amazing meal tonight. Small pork chops prepared without any added fat, plus green beans and scalloped potatoes. Irene prepared the potatoes without the butter/margarine or milk the recipe suggested. With a variety of spices, those added calories were never missed in the flavor department. They came out completely delicious! We have a food scale for accurate measuring of meat weights. Four ounces of this meat came in at 180 calories, the potatoes with reduced numbers, only 110, and the green beans only 20. A completely satisfying meal for 310 calories? Really? Yes. I was so impressed, I celebrated with a 110 calorie ice cream bar. This isn't “dieting,” this is living my friend.
We enjoyed a wonderful workout together at the YMCA tonight. You know how I've talked about my struggles in the weight room? Well, Irene and Courtney decided to join me for some upper body lifting before our regular cardio tonight. They want the fat burning effects of low weight-high reps and their support in that place is really going to help me stay focused on the training. We should have taken a picture of the three of us doing the dumbbell lifts simultaneously. It's funny, I still feel like I'm feeling my way through with the weights, but they were looking to me for guidance. I really had to “act as if” I knew what I was doing. Safety is my number one concern in the weight room, and that's exactly what I promoted tonight. When you're lifting, it can be so easy to injure yourself---and nobody wants to be out of commission simply because our impatient yearning for results pushed us too far, too fast. I'm focusing on applying my “consistent” philosophy to weight training---the results will be mind blowing in time, I trust that.
My lovely wife put together a wonderful post on her blog today ( www.livinlarge09.blogspot.com ) titled “See The Signs.” I was very busy when I first read her words and then I mistakenly assumed she found a poem on-line to go with her post. I was in a busy-hurry and completely skipped the poem. When she told me of her poem tonight, I felt so horrible that I didn't take time to read her original work. Huh, let me see if I can turn this around... “Uh sweety, the fact that I assumed you had found an inspirational poem on the internet, probably written by some famous poet, that's a compliment to you!” Hey, after twenty years of marriage, I'm good! She's the one that came up with this original poem---and it was just incredible. She has some amazing talent within her. I later commented that it's astonishing how often we get so caught up in our daily lives and schedules that we can completely look right past the best parts.
I'm actually getting to bed at a somewhat decent hour tonight, well—decent, relative to the norm some days. I can't wait to enjoy my blog roll tomorrow and catch up on my many friends along this road. Day 345 has been a smashing success. We'll do it again tomorrow! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Getting To Know Jack and Family Weight Training
The first Daily Diary of a Winning Loser audio blogger interview is posted and ready for your listening pleasure. Just click play and brace yourself for Jack Sh*t Gettin' Fit! (If you haven't already—find his blog at www.jackfit.blogspot.com ) Jack was very interesting to talk to, very relaxed and he sounded nothing like I imagined. Talking with him and the resulting interview really gave me a closer understanding of this blogger I follow so faithfully. He's very private and mysterious in many ways, and at the same time very honest and real, just one of us. His anonymity is extremely important to him, and I respect that 100%. His humor is like the holiday goodies you enjoy before opening the big gifts. The big gifts being his sincerely written personal post of struggle, triumph, and perseverance. His writing talent and discipline is amazing. And no matter what kind of mood I'm in, a wonderfully written post from Jack can break through and often make me laugh out loud, lifting whatever is weighing me down. Master Jack, wonderful interview my friend. I really thought I had lost you with that last question, but you handled it in pure Jack Sh*t fashion. Thank you sincerely.
I've been extremely busy today and haven't had much time to read or comment blogs. I always feel horrible when I don't. I'm planning on devoting some time tomorrow afternoon to catching up on many of my favorites. Your support of my journey through reading and commenting my blog has been an amazing difference maker in my life. I may not know you personally, but through reading and following your blog, and realizing all we have in common along this road to better health, I seriously consider you a friend. When I say “my friend” this and “my friend” that-- within these pages, I sincerely mean those words.
As many of my friends know, one of my biggest challenges and the biggest nemesis to my metabolism is time management. Things still get done when I fail to manage my time properly. I most always get in my workout and I always write a post no matter what, but often at the expense of sleep, and that negatively effects my metabolism. The solution is strict time management. It's a skill that I've never used before—and I'm really trying to learn how.
We enjoyed an amazing meal tonight. Small pork chops prepared without any added fat, plus green beans and scalloped potatoes. Irene prepared the potatoes without the butter/margarine or milk the recipe suggested. With a variety of spices, those added calories were never missed in the flavor department. They came out completely delicious! We have a food scale for accurate measuring of meat weights. Four ounces of this meat came in at 180 calories, the potatoes with reduced numbers, only 110, and the green beans only 20. A completely satisfying meal for 310 calories? Really? Yes. I was so impressed, I celebrated with a 110 calorie ice cream bar. This isn't “dieting,” this is living my friend.
We enjoyed a wonderful workout together at the YMCA tonight. You know how I've talked about my struggles in the weight room? Well, Irene and Courtney decided to join me for some upper body lifting before our regular cardio tonight. They want the fat burning effects of low weight-high reps and their support in that place is really going to help me stay focused on the training. We should have taken a picture of the three of us doing the dumbbell lifts simultaneously. It's funny, I still feel like I'm feeling my way through with the weights, but they were looking to me for guidance. I really had to “act as if” I knew what I was doing. Safety is my number one concern in the weight room, and that's exactly what I promoted tonight. When you're lifting, it can be so easy to injure yourself---and nobody wants to be out of commission simply because our impatient yearning for results pushed us too far, too fast. I'm focusing on applying my “consistent” philosophy to weight training---the results will be mind blowing in time, I trust that.
My lovely wife put together a wonderful post on her blog today ( www.livinlarge09.blogspot.com ) titled “See The Signs.” I was very busy when I first read her words and then I mistakenly assumed she found a poem on-line to go with her post. I was in a busy-hurry and completely skipped the poem. When she told me of her poem tonight, I felt so horrible that I didn't take time to read her original work. Huh, let me see if I can turn this around... “Uh sweety, the fact that I assumed you had found an inspirational poem on the internet, probably written by some famous poet, that's a compliment to you!” Hey, after twenty years of marriage, I'm good! She's the one that came up with this original poem---and it was just incredible. She has some amazing talent within her. I later commented that it's astonishing how often we get so caught up in our daily lives and schedules that we can completely look right past the best parts.
I'm actually getting to bed at a somewhat decent hour tonight, well—decent, relative to the norm some days. I can't wait to enjoy my blog roll tomorrow and catch up on my many friends along this road. Day 345 has been a smashing success. We'll do it again tomorrow! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Senin, 24 Agustus 2009
Day 344 Not A Perfect Eater and Personal Pizza Crazy
Day 344
Not A Perfect Eater and Personal Pizza Crazy
There must be a kitchen utensil that makes separating eggs easier. This morning when my first attempt ended with the yolk splashing down into the pan, I simply gave in and tossed another on top. I could have had eight egg whites for the amount of calories in two whole large eggs. And I would have stopped at four egg whites and that would have been easier on my calorie budget. It really wasn't that big of a deal. I scrambled them up and rolled them in a Flat Out whole wheat flat bread with a quarter ounce of mozzarella. It was a good breakfast, even if it wasn't the healthiest. We must purchase some more steel cut oats tomorrow. I'm a huge believer in the weight loss and health benefits of steel cut oats, apparently not big enough to keep them in the cupboard and invest the time it takes to cook them, but a believer none the less. I've certainly never pretended to be a perfect eater. I eat what I like and never what I don't. My entire weight loss journey has proven that there isn't a set list of foods you must eat to lose weight. The list of foods I've enjoyed in the last 344 days is long and dirty, no need to re-visit the list right now, trust me-they're all delicious. Many of my good choices go completely against the grain of conventional weight loss wisdom. Like I've said before, it's not about the food, it's the portions. Had I forced myself from the start to eat a bunch of foods I hated or otherwise wouldn't enjoy, just for the sake of losing weight, I wouldn't be sitting here over 200 pounds lighter and on Day 344. It would have ended quickly in a blaze of double cheeseburgers and ice cream.
Today was a busy day at the studio. After my regular responsibilities were handled, I produced a promotional announcement for my upcoming interview with weight loss blogger Jack Sh*t. The promo is currently loaded into the player on the upper left hand side of this page. I urge you to give it a listen and then get ready, because Tuesday night at 10pm central, 8pm in the west, 11pm on the east coast, 5pm Wednesday in New Zealand, 4am Wednesday morning in the UK, and 3pm Wednesday in Sydney, Australia---it shall be released to the world! (insert pretend evil laugh here) Don't miss your opportunity to hear from the man known as Jack Sh*t. You just might be surprised at some of the things you'll learn! I said you might be, yeah, I'm not guaranteeing anything. But I guarantee it will be interesting. I'll be sure to leave it up for a little while so everyone that desires gets a chance to listen.
We have officially flipped over these “Joseph's” brand flax seed-oat bran-and stone ground whole wheat pitas. I've had probably five personal pizzas in the last three days. OK, six actually. We just love them! And when you realize what a fantastic calorie value they are, they're completely irresistible. A big hot melty cheese pizza for 150 calories? A breakfast pizza for 175? A veggie pizza for 170? For dinner we used 93/7 lean ground beef, grilled mushrooms, bell peppers, onions and of course low-fat part skim mozzarella. 220 calories for an extremely filling, delicious, and satisfying meal is just amazing.
I talked with Amber tonight. She's doing fantastic and wanted me to let you know that she'll be posting again real soon. She's been really busy with the start of school and through it all she's been doing excellent on her calorie budget! I'm proud of her. She was just finishing up getting everything out of the boxes and decorating her dorm room. I also chatted with my mom tonight. She's doing fantastic, reporting that she just finished another mile and a third walk. I just love it that so many of my loved ones are taking charge and really making major breakthroughs along this road. It's the best.
Thank you for reading and your support. Don't forget to give the Jack Sh*t promo an ear! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Not A Perfect Eater and Personal Pizza Crazy
There must be a kitchen utensil that makes separating eggs easier. This morning when my first attempt ended with the yolk splashing down into the pan, I simply gave in and tossed another on top. I could have had eight egg whites for the amount of calories in two whole large eggs. And I would have stopped at four egg whites and that would have been easier on my calorie budget. It really wasn't that big of a deal. I scrambled them up and rolled them in a Flat Out whole wheat flat bread with a quarter ounce of mozzarella. It was a good breakfast, even if it wasn't the healthiest. We must purchase some more steel cut oats tomorrow. I'm a huge believer in the weight loss and health benefits of steel cut oats, apparently not big enough to keep them in the cupboard and invest the time it takes to cook them, but a believer none the less. I've certainly never pretended to be a perfect eater. I eat what I like and never what I don't. My entire weight loss journey has proven that there isn't a set list of foods you must eat to lose weight. The list of foods I've enjoyed in the last 344 days is long and dirty, no need to re-visit the list right now, trust me-they're all delicious. Many of my good choices go completely against the grain of conventional weight loss wisdom. Like I've said before, it's not about the food, it's the portions. Had I forced myself from the start to eat a bunch of foods I hated or otherwise wouldn't enjoy, just for the sake of losing weight, I wouldn't be sitting here over 200 pounds lighter and on Day 344. It would have ended quickly in a blaze of double cheeseburgers and ice cream.
Today was a busy day at the studio. After my regular responsibilities were handled, I produced a promotional announcement for my upcoming interview with weight loss blogger Jack Sh*t. The promo is currently loaded into the player on the upper left hand side of this page. I urge you to give it a listen and then get ready, because Tuesday night at 10pm central, 8pm in the west, 11pm on the east coast, 5pm Wednesday in New Zealand, 4am Wednesday morning in the UK, and 3pm Wednesday in Sydney, Australia---it shall be released to the world! (insert pretend evil laugh here) Don't miss your opportunity to hear from the man known as Jack Sh*t. You just might be surprised at some of the things you'll learn! I said you might be, yeah, I'm not guaranteeing anything. But I guarantee it will be interesting. I'll be sure to leave it up for a little while so everyone that desires gets a chance to listen.
We have officially flipped over these “Joseph's” brand flax seed-oat bran-and stone ground whole wheat pitas. I've had probably five personal pizzas in the last three days. OK, six actually. We just love them! And when you realize what a fantastic calorie value they are, they're completely irresistible. A big hot melty cheese pizza for 150 calories? A breakfast pizza for 175? A veggie pizza for 170? For dinner we used 93/7 lean ground beef, grilled mushrooms, bell peppers, onions and of course low-fat part skim mozzarella. 220 calories for an extremely filling, delicious, and satisfying meal is just amazing.
I talked with Amber tonight. She's doing fantastic and wanted me to let you know that she'll be posting again real soon. She's been really busy with the start of school and through it all she's been doing excellent on her calorie budget! I'm proud of her. She was just finishing up getting everything out of the boxes and decorating her dorm room. I also chatted with my mom tonight. She's doing fantastic, reporting that she just finished another mile and a third walk. I just love it that so many of my loved ones are taking charge and really making major breakthroughs along this road. It's the best.
Thank you for reading and your support. Don't forget to give the Jack Sh*t promo an ear! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
I blew it
I blew my 3-night binge-free streak. After a wonderful dinner of Asian Beef on skewers with Gremolata (I'll post the recipe later - it was fantastic), salad with Balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing, and steamed Brussels sprouts (yes, I love them...I'm weird) at 5pm, I went crazy at 10pm.
I opened the freezer to have 1/2 cup sugar-free ice cream with strawberries leftover from dinner (not the fiber-filled snack I was suppose to have) and staring back at me were those evil Skinny Cow mint ice cream sandwiches. I ate all three that were left in the package. Since I figured I'd blown it anyway, I ate two Weight Watcher cookies and cream bars. I was still feeling hungry and had a bowl of Dan's Good Chili (Hungry Girl recipe but I add ground turkey and shredded broccoli to it), along with two Oroweat Sandwich Thins. I didn't calculate the Points.
I woke up with regrets, as I always do after a binge. It must be similar to how an alcoholic feels after falling off the wagon. The self-hate, the "why did I do that?!" the anger at myself. All negative, bad feelings.
My gym experience sucked big time today, as it always does if I eat too much the night before. I don't know if it's a physical thing, all that food in my system makes me sluggish, or if it's mental. Probably both. I managed 21 minutes on Sadie (StairMaster). I usually do 30, but I just couldn't do it today. 16 minutes on the Crossramp. 45 minutes upper body strength.
My morning got worse when the that guy that likes me came in and saw me on the elliptical and was all excited to see me. He said he'd been wondering what happened to me and he'd missed me. Great. I'd purposely been going really early at 5 a.m. to avoid him but today I was late and didn't get to the gym until 6:15am.
We had a six-minute conversation about spirituality and God and how to have a positive outlook on life. You can see that was a lost cause on me this morning.
I guess there's not much I can do but try again tonight to stop the binging. I have dinner out with two girlfriends at a sushi place so I won't be home until late. One of them is in Weight Watchers so I'm going with her to her meeting tonight before dinner. Maybe I can get some inspiration.
Onward and forward....
I opened the freezer to have 1/2 cup sugar-free ice cream with strawberries leftover from dinner (not the fiber-filled snack I was suppose to have) and staring back at me were those evil Skinny Cow mint ice cream sandwiches. I ate all three that were left in the package. Since I figured I'd blown it anyway, I ate two Weight Watcher cookies and cream bars. I was still feeling hungry and had a bowl of Dan's Good Chili (Hungry Girl recipe but I add ground turkey and shredded broccoli to it), along with two Oroweat Sandwich Thins. I didn't calculate the Points.
I woke up with regrets, as I always do after a binge. It must be similar to how an alcoholic feels after falling off the wagon. The self-hate, the "why did I do that?!" the anger at myself. All negative, bad feelings.
My gym experience sucked big time today, as it always does if I eat too much the night before. I don't know if it's a physical thing, all that food in my system makes me sluggish, or if it's mental. Probably both. I managed 21 minutes on Sadie (StairMaster). I usually do 30, but I just couldn't do it today. 16 minutes on the Crossramp. 45 minutes upper body strength.
My morning got worse when the that guy that likes me came in and saw me on the elliptical and was all excited to see me. He said he'd been wondering what happened to me and he'd missed me. Great. I'd purposely been going really early at 5 a.m. to avoid him but today I was late and didn't get to the gym until 6:15am.
We had a six-minute conversation about spirituality and God and how to have a positive outlook on life. You can see that was a lost cause on me this morning.
I guess there's not much I can do but try again tonight to stop the binging. I have dinner out with two girlfriends at a sushi place so I won't be home until late. One of them is in Weight Watchers so I'm going with her to her meeting tonight before dinner. Maybe I can get some inspiration.
Onward and forward....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another picture of my Fairbanks trip (with my brother and his dog Goldie). I'm somewhat mortified by my hips and thighs, they look huge. If you want to see it close up and get totally grossed out, click on the picture to enlarge it. Aother reason to stop binging. I really need to lose the last 25 pounds! By the way, those jeans went to Goodwill this weekend.
Minggu, 23 Agustus 2009
Day 343 Large Scale Liberation and Making It Easier
Day 343
Large Scale Liberation and Making It Easier
It's really strange, in the last few days I've communicated with three different weight loss friends who have experienced depressing weigh-ins that showed ridiculous gains, some happening in less than a twenty-four hour period. We're all intelligent enough to agree that it would be almost impossible to really gain six pounds of fat in twenty-four hours. Other factors are at play. Water weight for sure, and for one friend, a reaction to her medication. I'm certainly not an expert, so I can't technically explain why these things happen, but I can tell you how to keep them from affecting you. Stop weighing daily.
I have a good friend that does weigh daily and she says it works for her, and that it sets a positive tone for her day regardless. If she's lost, she's thrilled. If she's gained, she's determined and strict. I guess if you can stay positive about it no matter the number, then sure, whatever you want to do. But if you allow it to wreck your emotions when something like this happens, then it's clearly causing you unnecessary difficulty along this road. Why would we choose to make this harder? What's the hurry? Why the need for sudden and instant results? If you're honestly making the changes necessary with food, exercise, and mind---then the results will come. Liberate yourself from the control you've allowed the scales to have on you. You're still going to have normal weight fluctuations, but think about it---not if you don't see them!
I visited Fitcetera's blog today and found the most wonderful post. You can find her at www.katschisfitcetera.blogspot.com She talks about how this becomes easy and how she only weighs once a month. ONCE A MONTH! Awesome. She sent me an e-mail today that explained so perfectly why: I am a reformed scale junkie. That thing drove me nuts (it's a short drive) I can't tell you how many times I've allowed that number on a scale to derail past weight loss efforts. It's almost heartbreaking. I'm sure you understand. For the very first time in my life (I'm 49) this has FINALLY become easy. Finally. I've been doing this for at least 30 years and you're right ... it is "sweet to relax and allow it to flow.” Her attitude is the best.
If you haven't already, go back a day and read the text of my article titled “How Long Is This Going To Take?” It's in the blog from yesterday and it might help you if you're a naturally impatient person like me. Yes, I'm impatient too! BUT—In analyzing why all of my former weight loss attempts failed—this is one of the big reasons why. Impatience. That “I want results now” attitude is a killer. If you focus on getting your food intake under control, exercise regularly, and really get super honest with yourself about all of the excuses and rationalizations that have held you back, then results will happen! Forget about the scale long enough for the fluctuations to level out and a real honest weight to show. The scale shouldn't be your enemy, it should be that friend you occasionally visit, just to see how they're doing. Fitcetera weighs once a month and she's got an easy button because of it and her wonderful attitude. Where's your easy button? It's certainly not on those blasted scales. I hope you check out her very popular blog if you haven't already. We could all gain some inspiration from her incredible attitude and approach.
Today has been wonderful. Good food, good exercise, good friends, and a confident feeling of unstoppable optimism. It wasn't always like this. But once I stopped trying to make it difficult, once I stopped being my own worst enemy, once I decided to make it as simple as it can be...it all got easier, and quickly. We're conditioned our whole life to think that losing weight is hard. We automatically assume that it has to be hard. It will be whatever you make it. You can complicate the process until you feel defeated and completely done. Or you can decide to simplify the process and rid your road of self-imposed walls and speed-bumps.
I'm looking forward to the week ahead. I'm excited about my renewed commitment and consistency in the weight room. I don't need to be embarrassed because I'm weak. So what if a twelve pound free weight can make me moan, sweat, and strain right now. With a consistent positive effort it will all change. I like that last sentence. Let me say that again. With a consistent positive effort it will all change. Isn't that the truth! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Large Scale Liberation and Making It Easier
It's really strange, in the last few days I've communicated with three different weight loss friends who have experienced depressing weigh-ins that showed ridiculous gains, some happening in less than a twenty-four hour period. We're all intelligent enough to agree that it would be almost impossible to really gain six pounds of fat in twenty-four hours. Other factors are at play. Water weight for sure, and for one friend, a reaction to her medication. I'm certainly not an expert, so I can't technically explain why these things happen, but I can tell you how to keep them from affecting you. Stop weighing daily.
I have a good friend that does weigh daily and she says it works for her, and that it sets a positive tone for her day regardless. If she's lost, she's thrilled. If she's gained, she's determined and strict. I guess if you can stay positive about it no matter the number, then sure, whatever you want to do. But if you allow it to wreck your emotions when something like this happens, then it's clearly causing you unnecessary difficulty along this road. Why would we choose to make this harder? What's the hurry? Why the need for sudden and instant results? If you're honestly making the changes necessary with food, exercise, and mind---then the results will come. Liberate yourself from the control you've allowed the scales to have on you. You're still going to have normal weight fluctuations, but think about it---not if you don't see them!
I visited Fitcetera's blog today and found the most wonderful post. You can find her at www.katschisfitcetera.blogspot.com She talks about how this becomes easy and how she only weighs once a month. ONCE A MONTH! Awesome. She sent me an e-mail today that explained so perfectly why: I am a reformed scale junkie. That thing drove me nuts (it's a short drive) I can't tell you how many times I've allowed that number on a scale to derail past weight loss efforts. It's almost heartbreaking. I'm sure you understand. For the very first time in my life (I'm 49) this has FINALLY become easy. Finally. I've been doing this for at least 30 years and you're right ... it is "sweet to relax and allow it to flow.” Her attitude is the best.
If you haven't already, go back a day and read the text of my article titled “How Long Is This Going To Take?” It's in the blog from yesterday and it might help you if you're a naturally impatient person like me. Yes, I'm impatient too! BUT—In analyzing why all of my former weight loss attempts failed—this is one of the big reasons why. Impatience. That “I want results now” attitude is a killer. If you focus on getting your food intake under control, exercise regularly, and really get super honest with yourself about all of the excuses and rationalizations that have held you back, then results will happen! Forget about the scale long enough for the fluctuations to level out and a real honest weight to show. The scale shouldn't be your enemy, it should be that friend you occasionally visit, just to see how they're doing. Fitcetera weighs once a month and she's got an easy button because of it and her wonderful attitude. Where's your easy button? It's certainly not on those blasted scales. I hope you check out her very popular blog if you haven't already. We could all gain some inspiration from her incredible attitude and approach.
Today has been wonderful. Good food, good exercise, good friends, and a confident feeling of unstoppable optimism. It wasn't always like this. But once I stopped trying to make it difficult, once I stopped being my own worst enemy, once I decided to make it as simple as it can be...it all got easier, and quickly. We're conditioned our whole life to think that losing weight is hard. We automatically assume that it has to be hard. It will be whatever you make it. You can complicate the process until you feel defeated and completely done. Or you can decide to simplify the process and rid your road of self-imposed walls and speed-bumps.
I'm looking forward to the week ahead. I'm excited about my renewed commitment and consistency in the weight room. I don't need to be embarrassed because I'm weak. So what if a twelve pound free weight can make me moan, sweat, and strain right now. With a consistent positive effort it will all change. I like that last sentence. Let me say that again. With a consistent positive effort it will all change. Isn't that the truth! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Three binge-free nights in a row
I know I really shouldn't talk about this because I'm going to for sure jinx it, but last night was night number three without binging. For some bizarre reason that I can't quite grasp, I feel in control. I also have permission to have a fiber filled snack of my choice with a point value of up to five points. I know it sounds like a lot, but I think it's better than just eating with abandon.
My new rule is I have to measure whatever I'm eating for my nighttime snack and calculate the points, enter it online, then eat it. Then wait 20 minutes before I eat anything else.
Just knowing I have this option seems to give me some sort of freedom. I don't feel as restricted and forced to be hungry when I really want to eat. Of course, it's only been three nights, but lately, that's a record for me. Two of the nights I didn't even have a snack. It's so weird how this is working for me.
Last night instead of eating I went on a manic housecleaning frenzy until 1 a.m. I think that was brought on because I caught an episode of the Hoarders on A&E. Ewwwww! I could see that becoming me. Probably not the rotting food part because that just totally grossed me out, but the hoarding of junk that I think I might need some day. Scary! Now my office is so bare it looks like no one even lives there. I have a pile of junk to take to Goodwill today.
Jack (my husband) is in class today. It's a class on ASP.Net, computer junk (b-o-r-i-n-g). He's gone for most of the day so I'm on my own.
Not much on the agenda except the following:
1. pick blackberries (bike ride included)
2. gym
3. Goodwill trip with my junk
4. make a new recipe I found in Shape magazine for dinner - Asian Beef Skewers with Cilantro Gremolata. If it turns out good I'll post the recipe later.
5. make Dan's Good Chili - from Hungry Girl cookbook
6. a little work stuff (since I'm drowning at work without enough hours in the day)...plus I want to test out using my new 24-inch monitor with my new laptop. Maybe the monitor and a clean office will make work more fun (yeah, right).
7. relax a little (I think I have that part already out of the way. I caught up on a lot of blogs today.).
I hope this is another binge-free day. Maybe I can even have another loss this week. That would be awesome. I think reaching goal is within my power.
My new rule is I have to measure whatever I'm eating for my nighttime snack and calculate the points, enter it online, then eat it. Then wait 20 minutes before I eat anything else.
Just knowing I have this option seems to give me some sort of freedom. I don't feel as restricted and forced to be hungry when I really want to eat. Of course, it's only been three nights, but lately, that's a record for me. Two of the nights I didn't even have a snack. It's so weird how this is working for me.
Last night instead of eating I went on a manic housecleaning frenzy until 1 a.m. I think that was brought on because I caught an episode of the Hoarders on A&E. Ewwwww! I could see that becoming me. Probably not the rotting food part because that just totally grossed me out, but the hoarding of junk that I think I might need some day. Scary! Now my office is so bare it looks like no one even lives there. I have a pile of junk to take to Goodwill today.
Jack (my husband) is in class today. It's a class on ASP.Net, computer junk (b-o-r-i-n-g). He's gone for most of the day so I'm on my own.
Not much on the agenda except the following:
1. pick blackberries (bike ride included)
2. gym
3. Goodwill trip with my junk
4. make a new recipe I found in Shape magazine for dinner - Asian Beef Skewers with Cilantro Gremolata. If it turns out good I'll post the recipe later.
5. make Dan's Good Chili - from Hungry Girl cookbook
6. a little work stuff (since I'm drowning at work without enough hours in the day)...plus I want to test out using my new 24-inch monitor with my new laptop. Maybe the monitor and a clean office will make work more fun (yeah, right).
7. relax a little (I think I have that part already out of the way. I caught up on a lot of blogs today.).
I hope this is another binge-free day. Maybe I can even have another loss this week. That would be awesome. I think reaching goal is within my power.
Sabtu, 22 Agustus 2009
Day 342 My New Blog Toy and About Time
Day 342
My New Blog Toy and About Time
Thank you for the wonderful support and the comments on yesterday's post. After twenty years of marriage and now having two teenage daughters, I'm certainly no stranger to that isle at Wal-Mart. The original picture found us actually purchasing some of those things, the “in-progress” was just trying to take the picture in the same spot. It's amazing how we can be so critical of ourselves no matter the success we've achieved. In looking at the “in-progress” picture, I couldn't help but mention to Irene how “that shirt makes me look heavier, I should have put on something different for the shot.” And it is a little big on me, but I've always tried to wear things that were baggy in an effort to cover up my weight. Funny that now it actually takes away a little from my transformation. I must wear things that fit right! Some habits are harder to break than others.
I hope you have a chance to click play on the audio player today. The Dominos Pizza Chocolate Lava Cake commercial is gone, replaced with a personalized message from me. Kind of an official introduction to this wonderful addition on the blog. (Myspace readers—I didn't put an audio player on the myspace version. You'll have to come over to the “global” version at www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com and by the way, myspace security will not let you just click that link, you'll have to type it into your browser, then bookmark it! I promise it will be worth the trouble) Like I said in the audio, I plan on using that player to interview bloggers and other special guest. The interviews will be fun, but mostly it'll be something different where I can occasionally speak on a certain subject or just be goofy. I love having it! I can't thank Gayle Williams enough for her hard work on this new feature. And thanks to Anson Williams (no relation to Gayle) for allowing me to use the studios of Team Radio to produce these audio features.
I got up early and had breakfast with Irene after she arrived home from another twelve hour shift. She's just not able to post everyday on her blog because of this crazy schedule, but she will often enough. And she's doing fantastic by the way! For breakfast I prepared another pizza. I know, I'm getting pizza crazy these days! But I just can't get over how filling and low calorie it can be! I used a different crust, this time it was Joseph's Flax Seed-Oat Bran-and Whole Wheat Pita. Each one has only 60 calories and they crisp up better than the Flat-Out flatbread I used last night. I had four egg whites, scrambled, an ounce of mozzarella, and tomato sauce plus the pita---all for only 175 calories. And I was full before it was gone. So much so, I recalculated the calories just to be sure. It sure felt like more than 175 calories worth of fullness. Irene and I had breakfast and coffee and a wonderful conversation before she retired to the bedroom, it was nice.
bbubblyb asked via a comment what kind hot dog rolls I used for those “Pizza Dogs” we prepared recently. The answer? Just your basic Wonder brand hot dog buns---110 calories each. Even the generic store brand of hot dog buns have the same calories—110. I'm happy your family loved them and I hope you found the 40 calorie hot dogs I used. I hope they're available where you live!
I enjoyed a killer workout tonight without ever leaving the house. That jump rope is turning out to be a very wise investment. I did 200 jumps. That may not sound like a bunch, but I promise you, I feel it like crazy. I was sweating heavily and my heart rate was on fire, it is a great workout. I can't do them all at one time, in one stretch—I'm not that good. But I can get through ten without messing up usually. Then I just do 20 sets. I'm also sore from the weight training yesterday. But it's a good sore, a hey this is working kind of sore.
The “Lose To Win” newsletter went out yesterday from Ponca City Medical Center. I wrote an article for this edition, so I was excited by it's release. I e-mailed some copies to those that requested and a few who didn't, and tonight I'm thinking---why not just copy and paste the text of the article here? It's a topic I've written about here on a couple of occasions:
How Long Is This Going To Take?
By Sean Anderson
We live in an instant society. Everything happens now. When something takes a little longer we get impatient. Surely there’s a way to make it go faster! When this impatient attitude is applied to weight loss, many people turn to diet pills or “miracle” products that promise quick results. I’ve done it before too! But I’ve learned along my own weight loss journey that there’s just no substitute for eating in a responsible way and exercising. Oh, you might get some temporary results with the latest fad diet, but none of us want temporary. We want fast and permanent results, a real solid change. And those come with consistent effort, a responsible diet and exercise plan, and the willingness to learn new habits. Losing weight isn’t an instant thing, it takes patience and consistency. The results may not be now, but the results will come.
Again, how long are we talking? At over 500 pounds it was very easy for me to get discouraged about the answer to that question. I allowed my impatience to ruin many weight loss attempts because I wanted the results now, and if we’re not getting what we want we get frustrated, and when we’re frustrated it makes it unnecessarily difficult to stay focused. But what I’ve learned in the past eleven months has proven to me that time doesn’t matter. If you allow yourself to get discouraged about the task at hand and the time it will take to accomplish your goal, then you’re putting your focus in the wrong place. Forget about time and just start making the changes you know must be made. Before you know it you’ll have made amazing strides toward your goal in surprisingly little time. Because guess what? Time doesn’t care if you do this or not. Time will keep moving with or without you. So how long is this going to take? As long as it needs. Because this isn’t something you’re doing for a couple of months. The changes in your mind and habits are changes that will be with you the rest of your life, these kind of changes are exactly what gives permanent results.
So how do we forget about time and still get results in a timely manner? One word: Consistency.
I’ve had a couple of people tell me that losing 201 pounds in eleven months is way too fast. Really? I’m eating a solid fifteen hundred calories everyday and exercising on a regular schedule. I’m consistent. My results may seem too fast to some, but those around me know exactly why they’ve come so fast. It’s consistency. In the past I would do well three days then bad for four. Pick it up on Monday and do well until Friday, then eat like a mad man on the weekend. This inconsistency severely crippled my results and it seemed like it was taking forever to get anywhere. If you would have asked how I was doing during one of those failed attempts, I would have replied “doing great, it’s a slow process, but I’m getting there.” It wasn’t until I became completely honest about my consistency issues that I was able to realize such dramatic results in so little time.
Forget about time and be consistent in your efforts to eat responsibly, exercise, and honestly change your mind and habits with these activities and like magic, you’ll also enjoy the most amazing transformation of mind, body, and health--in hardly anytime at all.
I really look forward to speaking again at another “Lose To Win” Seminar coming real soon. I wish you could be here! The hospital has just been incredible with their support of my efforts. It was really a magical timing thing for them to introduce this program right in the middle of the biggest transformation of my life. Being a part of it has been a real blessing. I run into people all the time that were a part of the program. Some have struggled and some have continued their weight loss success with wonderful results. The program really gave me a clear vision of what I want to become in the world of motivational speaking in regards to weight loss. It is without a doubt my future and I'm excited about the prospects!
I'm dropping in for some needed rest. The workout tonight has me plum beat and that bed is going to feel real good. Thank you for your support. Be sure to listen to the audio clip above, it's nearly five minutes in length by the way. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My New Blog Toy and About Time
Thank you for the wonderful support and the comments on yesterday's post. After twenty years of marriage and now having two teenage daughters, I'm certainly no stranger to that isle at Wal-Mart. The original picture found us actually purchasing some of those things, the “in-progress” was just trying to take the picture in the same spot. It's amazing how we can be so critical of ourselves no matter the success we've achieved. In looking at the “in-progress” picture, I couldn't help but mention to Irene how “that shirt makes me look heavier, I should have put on something different for the shot.” And it is a little big on me, but I've always tried to wear things that were baggy in an effort to cover up my weight. Funny that now it actually takes away a little from my transformation. I must wear things that fit right! Some habits are harder to break than others.
I hope you have a chance to click play on the audio player today. The Dominos Pizza Chocolate Lava Cake commercial is gone, replaced with a personalized message from me. Kind of an official introduction to this wonderful addition on the blog. (Myspace readers—I didn't put an audio player on the myspace version. You'll have to come over to the “global” version at www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com and by the way, myspace security will not let you just click that link, you'll have to type it into your browser, then bookmark it! I promise it will be worth the trouble) Like I said in the audio, I plan on using that player to interview bloggers and other special guest. The interviews will be fun, but mostly it'll be something different where I can occasionally speak on a certain subject or just be goofy. I love having it! I can't thank Gayle Williams enough for her hard work on this new feature. And thanks to Anson Williams (no relation to Gayle) for allowing me to use the studios of Team Radio to produce these audio features.
I got up early and had breakfast with Irene after she arrived home from another twelve hour shift. She's just not able to post everyday on her blog because of this crazy schedule, but she will often enough. And she's doing fantastic by the way! For breakfast I prepared another pizza. I know, I'm getting pizza crazy these days! But I just can't get over how filling and low calorie it can be! I used a different crust, this time it was Joseph's Flax Seed-Oat Bran-and Whole Wheat Pita. Each one has only 60 calories and they crisp up better than the Flat-Out flatbread I used last night. I had four egg whites, scrambled, an ounce of mozzarella, and tomato sauce plus the pita---all for only 175 calories. And I was full before it was gone. So much so, I recalculated the calories just to be sure. It sure felt like more than 175 calories worth of fullness. Irene and I had breakfast and coffee and a wonderful conversation before she retired to the bedroom, it was nice.
bbubblyb asked via a comment what kind hot dog rolls I used for those “Pizza Dogs” we prepared recently. The answer? Just your basic Wonder brand hot dog buns---110 calories each. Even the generic store brand of hot dog buns have the same calories—110. I'm happy your family loved them and I hope you found the 40 calorie hot dogs I used. I hope they're available where you live!
I enjoyed a killer workout tonight without ever leaving the house. That jump rope is turning out to be a very wise investment. I did 200 jumps. That may not sound like a bunch, but I promise you, I feel it like crazy. I was sweating heavily and my heart rate was on fire, it is a great workout. I can't do them all at one time, in one stretch—I'm not that good. But I can get through ten without messing up usually. Then I just do 20 sets. I'm also sore from the weight training yesterday. But it's a good sore, a hey this is working kind of sore.
The “Lose To Win” newsletter went out yesterday from Ponca City Medical Center. I wrote an article for this edition, so I was excited by it's release. I e-mailed some copies to those that requested and a few who didn't, and tonight I'm thinking---why not just copy and paste the text of the article here? It's a topic I've written about here on a couple of occasions:
How Long Is This Going To Take?
By Sean Anderson
We live in an instant society. Everything happens now. When something takes a little longer we get impatient. Surely there’s a way to make it go faster! When this impatient attitude is applied to weight loss, many people turn to diet pills or “miracle” products that promise quick results. I’ve done it before too! But I’ve learned along my own weight loss journey that there’s just no substitute for eating in a responsible way and exercising. Oh, you might get some temporary results with the latest fad diet, but none of us want temporary. We want fast and permanent results, a real solid change. And those come with consistent effort, a responsible diet and exercise plan, and the willingness to learn new habits. Losing weight isn’t an instant thing, it takes patience and consistency. The results may not be now, but the results will come.
Again, how long are we talking? At over 500 pounds it was very easy for me to get discouraged about the answer to that question. I allowed my impatience to ruin many weight loss attempts because I wanted the results now, and if we’re not getting what we want we get frustrated, and when we’re frustrated it makes it unnecessarily difficult to stay focused. But what I’ve learned in the past eleven months has proven to me that time doesn’t matter. If you allow yourself to get discouraged about the task at hand and the time it will take to accomplish your goal, then you’re putting your focus in the wrong place. Forget about time and just start making the changes you know must be made. Before you know it you’ll have made amazing strides toward your goal in surprisingly little time. Because guess what? Time doesn’t care if you do this or not. Time will keep moving with or without you. So how long is this going to take? As long as it needs. Because this isn’t something you’re doing for a couple of months. The changes in your mind and habits are changes that will be with you the rest of your life, these kind of changes are exactly what gives permanent results.
So how do we forget about time and still get results in a timely manner? One word: Consistency.
I’ve had a couple of people tell me that losing 201 pounds in eleven months is way too fast. Really? I’m eating a solid fifteen hundred calories everyday and exercising on a regular schedule. I’m consistent. My results may seem too fast to some, but those around me know exactly why they’ve come so fast. It’s consistency. In the past I would do well three days then bad for four. Pick it up on Monday and do well until Friday, then eat like a mad man on the weekend. This inconsistency severely crippled my results and it seemed like it was taking forever to get anywhere. If you would have asked how I was doing during one of those failed attempts, I would have replied “doing great, it’s a slow process, but I’m getting there.” It wasn’t until I became completely honest about my consistency issues that I was able to realize such dramatic results in so little time.
Forget about time and be consistent in your efforts to eat responsibly, exercise, and honestly change your mind and habits with these activities and like magic, you’ll also enjoy the most amazing transformation of mind, body, and health--in hardly anytime at all.
I really look forward to speaking again at another “Lose To Win” Seminar coming real soon. I wish you could be here! The hospital has just been incredible with their support of my efforts. It was really a magical timing thing for them to introduce this program right in the middle of the biggest transformation of my life. Being a part of it has been a real blessing. I run into people all the time that were a part of the program. Some have struggled and some have continued their weight loss success with wonderful results. The program really gave me a clear vision of what I want to become in the world of motivational speaking in regards to weight loss. It is without a doubt my future and I'm excited about the prospects!
I'm dropping in for some needed rest. The workout tonight has me plum beat and that bed is going to feel real good. Thank you for your support. Be sure to listen to the audio clip above, it's nearly five minutes in length by the way. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
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