As I was standing in a very long, slow-moving line at at Macy's this morning (one LAST gift for hubby), I started thinking about this blog. I realized it's the thing that has basically kept me accountable for the last three years. It's the one thing that has made a huge difference in my weight loss and in my life.
Even though I'm not at goal yet (2011 will be MY year), I didn't gain anything this year. That alone is a small miracle. I've been blogging for three years and this is the first time in my entire life that I've consistently attempted to lose weight for that long of a period AND stuck to a regular exercise routine. My follow through on most things in life is usually poor, especially weight loss and exercise.
Then I realized I wouldn't be posting anything until next year since I'll be in Fairbanks all next week. I don't usually post or read blogs when I'm with my family. This was my last chance to say anything in 2010.
So, to anyone that reads this, first of all, I really appreciate you. If you've ever left me a comment or sent me an email, I appreciate you even more, and if you're a blogger, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've learned so much from all of you that I can't even begin to express my gratitude. Without all of you I would have given up a long time ago.
The other thing is my Christmas wish for everyone. If I could grant one wish to everyone it would be good health. That's it. Not wealth or possessions or world peace. Just good health. Because if you have good health, you have everything. All that other stuff doesn't mean a thing without it.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!
Jumat, 24 Desember 2010
Christmas Eve Day ramblings
Failure
I failed miserably last night with the late night eating. It was all healthy foods, grapes, chicken breasts, persimmons. Even though these foods are healthy and good for me, they still contain calories and put me way over on my limits for Points and calories (about 500 calories).
I mentioned yesterday how I felt really hungry. Dawn left a kind comment that she never felt hungry while losing her 160 pounds. If she was hungry, she ate something. When she speaks, I listen. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find my off switch yesterday. Sometimes I don't know if it's really hunger or boredom. I wish I could tell the difference. Lately, I'm very out of tune with my body signals. I'm working on it, but it's definitely a challenge.
FedEx and other Christmas adventures
Yesterday was a very late day to the gym because I was waiting most of the day for a FedEx delivery of Christmas present (and one I didn't want to leave sitting outside all day). I knew it was suppose to be delivered after 11:30am (per their website it was on the truck for delivery). I waited until 3pm, still no package. I finally went back online and it was delivered at 1:30pm. But it wasn't delivered! My husband told me I'd better call FedEx. That idea didn't appeal to me. Calling FedEx two days before Christmas to tell them a package they said they delivered wasn't actually delivered sounded like being tortured.
Instead, I started walking down our street of houses to look for my package. I thought it must have been delivered to the wrong house. I was right. There it sat by our neighbor's front door. They weren't home so I just walked up, picked it up, looked at it with my name and address on it, and brought it home.
My husband told me to call FedEx and let them know about the driver's mistake. I decided that the poor delivery guy had probably delivered hundreds of packages this past week, so he made a little mistake on mine. He was probably working massive hours and was exhausted. I found the package and no harm was done (other than a tiny bit of anxiety on my part). I didn't call. Merry Christmas FedEx guy.
Then a trip to Costco for last minute Christmas dinner food. Prime rib for the husband - I won't be touching it, including cooking it. It's his deal. Scallops for both of us, but mainly me! I love scallops.
While I was shopping for the scallops, someone absconded with my shopping cart, half full of food and a few more Christmas gifts, including fake UGG boots for me since I can't find my boots for my Fairbanks trip (I think I gave them to Goodwill - they were almost new but I hated the style). You don't travel to a place where it's 50 degrees below zero without warm boots. I finally found my shopping cart over by the dairy, I hadn't made it to the dairy section yet but the person that took my cart needed some milk.
Today it's back to Costco to return some slippers I bought. Wrong size! Then I need warm gloves for the Fairbanks trip because I can't find those either. I know I had them a few months ago but they seem to have disappeared.
Then the gym...all before noon for sure.
Challenge for today
Since the hunger thing was so out of control yesterday, I'm going to take Dawn and Ron's advice. Eat when hungry, but make sure I'm really hungry and not bored. Ron's advice was to spread out the Points. According to our Weight Watcher leader (and the Getting Started Book for PointsPlus) the perfect day for someone on 29 Points is the following:
Breakfast 5
Lunch 8
Dinner 11
Snack 3
Snack 2
I get another 45 Weeklies and usually at least 10 Activity Points a day, but I'm really trying not to eat those these days.
My other challenge...drink enough water. My personal goal is four 24-ounce bottles, or 96 ounces total. I failed on that yesterday too.
Damnit...that Sarah McLaughlan ASPCSA commercial is one and it gets me every time. Breaks my heart. Where's the remote when I need it?
Merry Christmas Eve everyone!
ps - just checked the Fairbanks weather. It's only -31 degrees (below zero), which means at my sister's house about 30 miles from Fairbanks is -41 (it's always 10 degrees colder out by North Pole). Yes, I definitely need warm boots and gloves for Sunday. :)
I failed miserably last night with the late night eating. It was all healthy foods, grapes, chicken breasts, persimmons. Even though these foods are healthy and good for me, they still contain calories and put me way over on my limits for Points and calories (about 500 calories).
I mentioned yesterday how I felt really hungry. Dawn left a kind comment that she never felt hungry while losing her 160 pounds. If she was hungry, she ate something. When she speaks, I listen. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find my off switch yesterday. Sometimes I don't know if it's really hunger or boredom. I wish I could tell the difference. Lately, I'm very out of tune with my body signals. I'm working on it, but it's definitely a challenge.
FedEx and other Christmas adventures
Yesterday was a very late day to the gym because I was waiting most of the day for a FedEx delivery of Christmas present (and one I didn't want to leave sitting outside all day). I knew it was suppose to be delivered after 11:30am (per their website it was on the truck for delivery). I waited until 3pm, still no package. I finally went back online and it was delivered at 1:30pm. But it wasn't delivered! My husband told me I'd better call FedEx. That idea didn't appeal to me. Calling FedEx two days before Christmas to tell them a package they said they delivered wasn't actually delivered sounded like being tortured.
Instead, I started walking down our street of houses to look for my package. I thought it must have been delivered to the wrong house. I was right. There it sat by our neighbor's front door. They weren't home so I just walked up, picked it up, looked at it with my name and address on it, and brought it home.
My husband told me to call FedEx and let them know about the driver's mistake. I decided that the poor delivery guy had probably delivered hundreds of packages this past week, so he made a little mistake on mine. He was probably working massive hours and was exhausted. I found the package and no harm was done (other than a tiny bit of anxiety on my part). I didn't call. Merry Christmas FedEx guy.
Then a trip to Costco for last minute Christmas dinner food. Prime rib for the husband - I won't be touching it, including cooking it. It's his deal. Scallops for both of us, but mainly me! I love scallops.
While I was shopping for the scallops, someone absconded with my shopping cart, half full of food and a few more Christmas gifts, including fake UGG boots for me since I can't find my boots for my Fairbanks trip (I think I gave them to Goodwill - they were almost new but I hated the style). You don't travel to a place where it's 50 degrees below zero without warm boots. I finally found my shopping cart over by the dairy, I hadn't made it to the dairy section yet but the person that took my cart needed some milk.
Today it's back to Costco to return some slippers I bought. Wrong size! Then I need warm gloves for the Fairbanks trip because I can't find those either. I know I had them a few months ago but they seem to have disappeared.
Then the gym...all before noon for sure.
Challenge for today
Since the hunger thing was so out of control yesterday, I'm going to take Dawn and Ron's advice. Eat when hungry, but make sure I'm really hungry and not bored. Ron's advice was to spread out the Points. According to our Weight Watcher leader (and the Getting Started Book for PointsPlus) the perfect day for someone on 29 Points is the following:
Breakfast 5
Lunch 8
Dinner 11
Snack 3
Snack 2
I get another 45 Weeklies and usually at least 10 Activity Points a day, but I'm really trying not to eat those these days.
My other challenge...drink enough water. My personal goal is four 24-ounce bottles, or 96 ounces total. I failed on that yesterday too.
Damnit...that Sarah McLaughlan ASPCSA commercial is one and it gets me every time. Breaks my heart. Where's the remote when I need it?
Merry Christmas Eve everyone!
ps - just checked the Fairbanks weather. It's only -31 degrees (below zero), which means at my sister's house about 30 miles from Fairbanks is -41 (it's always 10 degrees colder out by North Pole). Yes, I definitely need warm boots and gloves for Sunday. :)
Kamis, 23 Desember 2010
Day 814-826 Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!
Day 814-826
Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!
This is way too long to go between blog updates. Oh my...wow. A record of sorts, that I'm certainly not happy about. I sincerely appreciate the support and understanding many of my friends have expressed during this incredibly busy time. Not only has it been busy, but I've been dealing with a medical issue that I've kept very quiet about.
The effects of sleep apnea have had a profound effect on me lately. My needs have obviously changed in regard to the settings of my old "sleep machine," and now--a restful nights sleep is hit and miss at best. I can't waste any more time and do any more damage to my internal organs before receiving proper treatment. I really thought that my sleep apnea was 100% caused by my obesity. And it's strange, because after losing the first 100 or so pounds, I was completely free to sleep---machine free, and feel completely rested every morning. But something changed. As I celebrated my freedom from this disorder and continued losing more weight, the symptoms came back. It was sometime after crossing the 200 pounds lost point, that I noticed the return of the old and familiar effects from this exhausting killer.
I'm happy to report: I'm scheduled for a sleep study on the night of December 30th. I cannot continue wishing it away or convincing myself that I can lay in a certain "symptom-free" position. The doctor said something I've been worrying about almost constantly since---He said that the return of my symptoms could have something to do with damage to my heart caused by my years of morbid obesity and the lack of oxygen as a result of sleep apnea. He almost ordered a stress test--but after listening to my heart, considering my exercise ability, and whatever else he took into consideration---He, we---decided to wait on that test. Instead--we're doing a sleep study. If you suffer from sleep apnea--trust me, it's nothing to mess around with...and in the spirit of 100% self-honesty--I've messed around with it a bunch lately. It's about time I do something positive to correctly treat the problem.
This is the worst possible time for me to feel like an exhausted wreck everyday. With my radio schedule and the manuscript weighing heavy on my plate--I must be alert and productive. I haven't been lately, at all. And my slow progress is proof.
I made my way to Stillwater to weigh-in the other day. I didn't make a big deal about it--It was just a check up for me. I've lost another pound, despite my beautiful grandmother's request that I "not lose another pound!" Sorry grandma---229 is what I weigh today.
I still have some weight/excess fat to lose and I'll naturally and gradually make my way to whatever that number will be. I also have some weight to gain---as in, with muscle--in the new weight training area of the YMCA. So really--the number isn't going to matter as much as how I feel and how my clothes fit my smaller body. If I'm fortunate enough to have excess skin removal surgery next year, that too will effect the number. But again---I can't get focused on a number, ever. It's not about that now.
I've allowed myself "extra" calories over the course of the last month---gradually increasing to about 1800 per day. Some days I do, some I don't. It just depends. I still find myself spending way too many calories on loose snacks in the kitchen at the studio. The other day, I consumed about 350 calories worth of pretzels and nuts. That's a little much. The solution?: Preparedness. I simply need to make a point of stocking the kitchen with the kind of snacks I enjoy so I'll feel good about the calorie investment I'm making.
You want to hear a very cool story?
In March, Amber and I traveled to this tattoo shop in Southern Kansas to get our very first tattoos. My "505" tattoo is obviously very important to me--and it has been a wonderful experience to have and show people---especially people that never knew me at 505. It's certainly a conversation piece. Well--now the story gets even better.
The incredibly talented tattoo artist that evening was assigned probably one of the easiest tattoos he's ever completed. "505," nothing fancy--simple block numbers, that's all I wanted--and honestly, all I needed. He was a heavy man himself--I really liked him, and he was of course, interested in the story behind the number. So I told him all about my weight loss and this blog. We had a wonderful conversation about weight loss and our experiences with losing and gaining weight over the years. I'm sure that if we had talked longer, we would have found much more in common...a bunch more, no doubt.
He completed the tattoo and we were on our way. I ran into him not long ago at a remote broadcast and he told me that he was losing weight by eating wonderfully and exercising regularly. I think he had lost about seventy-something pounds at that point. Well--now--it's time for an update:
A recent message from my tattoo artist friend: "Great news to report!!! In the last 6 months, thanks to diet and exercise, I've lost over 140lbs!!!! Feels amazing!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration my friend!!!"
He's out there being consistent in every way---he's redefining his relationship with food and he's exercising everyday. He's taking back control of his life and leaving obesity behind. Talk about choosing change!! I had to ask him the question. Will he get a special tattoo someday, inspired by his amazing weight loss? His answer:
"Yes, a tattoo is definitely in order once I hit my target weight!!! I started at 460lbs, my goal is to get down to 200lbs. Just too feel this great again totally outweighs any desire to eat "bad food"!!! I feel so alive!!!"
I love that story. Thank you, my friend for allowing me to share.
I was back in the archives tonight--reading from December 2008, when I ran across this excerpt:
I was fasting overnight in preparation for my blood work today. By the time I arrived at the doctors office it was nearly noon. Lucky for me they got what they needed on the first stick. The other day they stuck me several times to no avail. While they were at it they decided to give me an EKG. My heart rate was 59. They said between 60 and 80 is perfect. They also said it wasn't a big deal that mine was 59, in fact the EKG looked great. The blood work was going to take a couple of hours to get back from their lab. That gave me a little time to think.
“What if my numbers are bad?” I thought. I don't know how they could be, since they were pretty good to begin with. I seem to never pass up an opportunity to worry about something, even if there's no immediate reason for concern. When I made the call for the results I was very happy at what I heard. My cholesterol was in the 180's before I started losing weight, and that was good. Now my cholesterol has dropped nearly 40 points to a super nice level of 147. It's nothing more than a genetics blessing. Like I've said before, except for the last 103 days, I've done everything in my power to give me horrible cholesterol. I'm just real fortunate to have a 147. My triglycerides were 102, anything below 150 is good. My blood sugar was 99, well below the 119 limit of normal. My LDL was 96, under 130 is great. And my Vldl was 20, which is in range. I guess “in range” is good. They said everything was in range, just perfect. How crazy is that?
I told you, I've been hiding an athlete under all this fat! I had to lay down and pull my shirt up for the EKG. It gave me a perfect opportunity to ask a question I'd been real concerned about.
A month or so ago I was laying down on my bed feeling my ribs. I'd never done that before. I came across a hard bump at the base of my rib cage where the two sides meet. It was very hard, a bone no doubt, but it was sticking up a little. I immediately wondered if this was normal. So there with my shirt up laying on the table at the doctors office, I had my chance to find out. “Is this normal?” “Uh, yes, that's your sternum.” OK, wow, silly me, of course. I was hiding a sternum in there all this time, I just never could feel it, or bothered to notice. I wonder what else I'll notice as the weight continues to melt? I might end up having a tail bone, that would be cool.
By the way, the doctor I mentioned on day 2 of this blog, you know the one that brought me to tears while describing how easily I could die at over 500 pounds? She was there today. When I saw her I proclaimed, “there's the doctor that scared the heck out of me not too long ago.” She smiled and said “It worked didn't it?” Yes, it did, and it's continuing to work everyday. She was just brutally honest, and I'm thankful for that honesty and thorough description of what my insides were going through at over 500 pounds. I'll never forget her. She really made a difference in me.
Since that day---I've discovered a tail bone, a bunch of ribs, and hip bones too! I'm thrilled!!!
AOL's www.thatsfit.com has included me in an "update" story. I'm in wonderful company too. If you check out the link below--be sure to read all of them if you can---including the entries featuring my friends Jack, Lyn, and Susan!! Here's the link: http://www.thatsfit.com/2010/12/14/best-weight-loss-success-stories-of-2010/
The Ponca City News just released a wonderful write up all about me hitting my goal. The story was such an awesome blessing. A big thank you to Beverly Bryant and the PCN!! If you live outside of my local area--you can still read the article by clicking the special link below. The story is on two different pages of the below Ponca City news PDF link. The front page of section C---and then scroll down to page 3C for the rest of the story---including an extensive question and answer interview segment. Here's the link: http://www.poncacity.com/news/docs/mw/mw.pdf By the way--This PDF link will only be available for a week---so if it's after the 29th, it's probably not active.
I recently received a message from a gentleman who just started his own weight loss blog. It turns out, we have much in common. Please check out his blog if you have the time! The address: www.505point8.com That's right---he started at 505 too!!!
I sincerely wish you a warm and safe Christmas with plenty of everything you need. Peace, love, family, and friends. Thank you for reading. I've promised myself that I will not go so long again without posting something...after all--Not every post needs to be a giant post. Look for an after-Christmas post coming soon. I have four days off in a row---and I'm looking forward to every single minute. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Recent picture with my youngest daughter Courtney. She's doing so well!!! Love you sweety!!!
This is a big before picture--Over 500 pounds---at Christmas 2007!!
Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!
This is way too long to go between blog updates. Oh my...wow. A record of sorts, that I'm certainly not happy about. I sincerely appreciate the support and understanding many of my friends have expressed during this incredibly busy time. Not only has it been busy, but I've been dealing with a medical issue that I've kept very quiet about.
The effects of sleep apnea have had a profound effect on me lately. My needs have obviously changed in regard to the settings of my old "sleep machine," and now--a restful nights sleep is hit and miss at best. I can't waste any more time and do any more damage to my internal organs before receiving proper treatment. I really thought that my sleep apnea was 100% caused by my obesity. And it's strange, because after losing the first 100 or so pounds, I was completely free to sleep---machine free, and feel completely rested every morning. But something changed. As I celebrated my freedom from this disorder and continued losing more weight, the symptoms came back. It was sometime after crossing the 200 pounds lost point, that I noticed the return of the old and familiar effects from this exhausting killer.
I'm happy to report: I'm scheduled for a sleep study on the night of December 30th. I cannot continue wishing it away or convincing myself that I can lay in a certain "symptom-free" position. The doctor said something I've been worrying about almost constantly since---He said that the return of my symptoms could have something to do with damage to my heart caused by my years of morbid obesity and the lack of oxygen as a result of sleep apnea. He almost ordered a stress test--but after listening to my heart, considering my exercise ability, and whatever else he took into consideration---He, we---decided to wait on that test. Instead--we're doing a sleep study. If you suffer from sleep apnea--trust me, it's nothing to mess around with...and in the spirit of 100% self-honesty--I've messed around with it a bunch lately. It's about time I do something positive to correctly treat the problem.
This is the worst possible time for me to feel like an exhausted wreck everyday. With my radio schedule and the manuscript weighing heavy on my plate--I must be alert and productive. I haven't been lately, at all. And my slow progress is proof.
I made my way to Stillwater to weigh-in the other day. I didn't make a big deal about it--It was just a check up for me. I've lost another pound, despite my beautiful grandmother's request that I "not lose another pound!" Sorry grandma---229 is what I weigh today.
I still have some weight/excess fat to lose and I'll naturally and gradually make my way to whatever that number will be. I also have some weight to gain---as in, with muscle--in the new weight training area of the YMCA. So really--the number isn't going to matter as much as how I feel and how my clothes fit my smaller body. If I'm fortunate enough to have excess skin removal surgery next year, that too will effect the number. But again---I can't get focused on a number, ever. It's not about that now.
I've allowed myself "extra" calories over the course of the last month---gradually increasing to about 1800 per day. Some days I do, some I don't. It just depends. I still find myself spending way too many calories on loose snacks in the kitchen at the studio. The other day, I consumed about 350 calories worth of pretzels and nuts. That's a little much. The solution?: Preparedness. I simply need to make a point of stocking the kitchen with the kind of snacks I enjoy so I'll feel good about the calorie investment I'm making.
You want to hear a very cool story?
In March, Amber and I traveled to this tattoo shop in Southern Kansas to get our very first tattoos. My "505" tattoo is obviously very important to me--and it has been a wonderful experience to have and show people---especially people that never knew me at 505. It's certainly a conversation piece. Well--now the story gets even better.
The incredibly talented tattoo artist that evening was assigned probably one of the easiest tattoos he's ever completed. "505," nothing fancy--simple block numbers, that's all I wanted--and honestly, all I needed. He was a heavy man himself--I really liked him, and he was of course, interested in the story behind the number. So I told him all about my weight loss and this blog. We had a wonderful conversation about weight loss and our experiences with losing and gaining weight over the years. I'm sure that if we had talked longer, we would have found much more in common...a bunch more, no doubt.
He completed the tattoo and we were on our way. I ran into him not long ago at a remote broadcast and he told me that he was losing weight by eating wonderfully and exercising regularly. I think he had lost about seventy-something pounds at that point. Well--now--it's time for an update:
A recent message from my tattoo artist friend: "Great news to report!!! In the last 6 months, thanks to diet and exercise, I've lost over 140lbs!!!! Feels amazing!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration my friend!!!"
He's out there being consistent in every way---he's redefining his relationship with food and he's exercising everyday. He's taking back control of his life and leaving obesity behind. Talk about choosing change!! I had to ask him the question. Will he get a special tattoo someday, inspired by his amazing weight loss? His answer:
"Yes, a tattoo is definitely in order once I hit my target weight!!! I started at 460lbs, my goal is to get down to 200lbs. Just too feel this great again totally outweighs any desire to eat "bad food"!!! I feel so alive!!!"
I love that story. Thank you, my friend for allowing me to share.
I was back in the archives tonight--reading from December 2008, when I ran across this excerpt:
I was fasting overnight in preparation for my blood work today. By the time I arrived at the doctors office it was nearly noon. Lucky for me they got what they needed on the first stick. The other day they stuck me several times to no avail. While they were at it they decided to give me an EKG. My heart rate was 59. They said between 60 and 80 is perfect. They also said it wasn't a big deal that mine was 59, in fact the EKG looked great. The blood work was going to take a couple of hours to get back from their lab. That gave me a little time to think.
“What if my numbers are bad?” I thought. I don't know how they could be, since they were pretty good to begin with. I seem to never pass up an opportunity to worry about something, even if there's no immediate reason for concern. When I made the call for the results I was very happy at what I heard. My cholesterol was in the 180's before I started losing weight, and that was good. Now my cholesterol has dropped nearly 40 points to a super nice level of 147. It's nothing more than a genetics blessing. Like I've said before, except for the last 103 days, I've done everything in my power to give me horrible cholesterol. I'm just real fortunate to have a 147. My triglycerides were 102, anything below 150 is good. My blood sugar was 99, well below the 119 limit of normal. My LDL was 96, under 130 is great. And my Vldl was 20, which is in range. I guess “in range” is good. They said everything was in range, just perfect. How crazy is that?
I told you, I've been hiding an athlete under all this fat! I had to lay down and pull my shirt up for the EKG. It gave me a perfect opportunity to ask a question I'd been real concerned about.
A month or so ago I was laying down on my bed feeling my ribs. I'd never done that before. I came across a hard bump at the base of my rib cage where the two sides meet. It was very hard, a bone no doubt, but it was sticking up a little. I immediately wondered if this was normal. So there with my shirt up laying on the table at the doctors office, I had my chance to find out. “Is this normal?” “Uh, yes, that's your sternum.” OK, wow, silly me, of course. I was hiding a sternum in there all this time, I just never could feel it, or bothered to notice. I wonder what else I'll notice as the weight continues to melt? I might end up having a tail bone, that would be cool.
By the way, the doctor I mentioned on day 2 of this blog, you know the one that brought me to tears while describing how easily I could die at over 500 pounds? She was there today. When I saw her I proclaimed, “there's the doctor that scared the heck out of me not too long ago.” She smiled and said “It worked didn't it?” Yes, it did, and it's continuing to work everyday. She was just brutally honest, and I'm thankful for that honesty and thorough description of what my insides were going through at over 500 pounds. I'll never forget her. She really made a difference in me.
Since that day---I've discovered a tail bone, a bunch of ribs, and hip bones too! I'm thrilled!!!
AOL's www.thatsfit.com has included me in an "update" story. I'm in wonderful company too. If you check out the link below--be sure to read all of them if you can---including the entries featuring my friends Jack, Lyn, and Susan!! Here's the link: http://www.thatsfit.com/2010/12/14/best-weight-loss-success-stories-of-2010/
The Ponca City News just released a wonderful write up all about me hitting my goal. The story was such an awesome blessing. A big thank you to Beverly Bryant and the PCN!! If you live outside of my local area--you can still read the article by clicking the special link below. The story is on two different pages of the below Ponca City news PDF link. The front page of section C---and then scroll down to page 3C for the rest of the story---including an extensive question and answer interview segment. Here's the link: http://www.poncacity.com/news/docs/mw/mw.pdf By the way--This PDF link will only be available for a week---so if it's after the 29th, it's probably not active.
I recently received a message from a gentleman who just started his own weight loss blog. It turns out, we have much in common. Please check out his blog if you have the time! The address: www.505point8.com That's right---he started at 505 too!!!
I sincerely wish you a warm and safe Christmas with plenty of everything you need. Peace, love, family, and friends. Thank you for reading. I've promised myself that I will not go so long again without posting something...after all--Not every post needs to be a giant post. Look for an after-Christmas post coming soon. I have four days off in a row---and I'm looking forward to every single minute. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Recent picture with my youngest daughter Courtney. She's doing so well!!! Love you sweety!!!
This is a big before picture--Over 500 pounds---at Christmas 2007!!
What is this feeling in the pit of my stomach....hunger?
The last two days I've really cut back on my food intake. It's not like I'm starving myself. I'm just eating smaller portions, and I cut out all the fake ice cream (again!). Fake ice cream being Weight Watchers ice cream bars, sugar-free crap and of course, Skinny Cows (and there's nothing "skinny" about those things for me since I can't eat just one).
With the rush of the holiday, it's been easy to skip meals. It's also been stupid and not really on purpose. It just happened that I missed lunch two days in a row these last two days, and I didn't make up for it with late night eating. I know, that's a real shocker.
As a result of actually feeling hungry, I tossed and turned most of last night, but I refused to give in to getting up for a snack at 2 a.m. I'm trying to break that habit (again!) to stop eating in the middle of the night. One innocent snack can turned into a five-course meal with dessert, and totally ruin a perfect day of eating and exercising.
When I finally got up at 6 a.m. today, I was famished. I made my breakfast. It was a little different than what I usually have: one egg, 1/4 cup 2% cheese, 1/3 cup chopped cherry tomatoes, and 4 ounces of shrimp (we're out of Canadian bacon), and two Tablespoons of cocktail sauce (not something I ever have with breakfast). I heated this up and then put the mixture on a sandwich thin (because we're out of real bread). It was surprisingly very tasty and filling.
The problem, I put it in the Weight Watchers eTools online...it's a freaking 11 Points! Holy crap! 406 calories, about 100 more than what I usually have with the Canadian bacon breakfast, and five Points higher than my normal six point breakfast. Lesson learned: put my food in eTools before I eat it. I probably would have had something different if I had done this, and definitely lower in Points.
By 11 a.m. I was starving again. I just had a banana and 4 oz. Activia fat-free vanilla yogurt, along with a cup of my new favorite tea (Good Earth Original, a yummy naturally sweet cinnamon tea). 160 calories or 2 Weight Watcher Points. I feel okay now, still a little hungry but I can live with it. I'm trying to suck down as much water as possible to keep the hunger pains away. It's not working as well as it usually does.
Calorie count so far today: 566
Points: 13
It's only 1 p.m. I'm not sure why this seems a lot tougher today than I remember. Maybe because I'm really focusing and doing what it takes to ignore these hunger pains. Is it real hunger I wonder, or is it all in my head? Either way, I don't like it but I can live through it.
Plans for the day, next up is the gym. My husband wants to go with me (he's off work toay). There's always the debate of taking two cars since he will only do one hour, that's his personal limit for the gym. I prefer one and half hours when I have time. We'll see.
Then it's home to wrap presents and make a chicken barley soup recipe I found in one of my old Jane Brody cookbooks. It's a cookbook I bought about 15 years ago during my vegetarian, organic, health food phase (1995-1997). I remember I bought it because it had a lot of vegetarian recipes in it.
I never made the soup but it sounds really good. About five years ago I gave away most of my cookbooks. I use to be a cookbook fanatic. I had about 50 of them. I decided to downsize and only kept five of my favorite cookbooks since I get most of my recipes online (of course, I've been adding Weight Watcher cookbooks, which I rarely use...most recipes I get from eTools).
Jane Brody was the top of the list as a keeper cookbook. Funny thing, I weighed 127 pounds when I was cooking from this cookbook and there isn't any nutritional information. They're very healthy, low-fat and delicious. I'm going to put all the ingredients into the WW recipe builder but I suspect it'll be about six or seven Points a serving. Of course, my estimates are off on everything these days with the new WW plan so we'll see how off I am on this one.
I hope everyone is enjoying their day. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I can't believe how time is flying. 2011 is right around the corner. If nothing else, I'm going to be under my January 1, 2010 weight of 177 by January 1, 2011. Whatever it takes, I have to at least to that for myself.
With the rush of the holiday, it's been easy to skip meals. It's also been stupid and not really on purpose. It just happened that I missed lunch two days in a row these last two days, and I didn't make up for it with late night eating. I know, that's a real shocker.
As a result of actually feeling hungry, I tossed and turned most of last night, but I refused to give in to getting up for a snack at 2 a.m. I'm trying to break that habit (again!) to stop eating in the middle of the night. One innocent snack can turned into a five-course meal with dessert, and totally ruin a perfect day of eating and exercising.
When I finally got up at 6 a.m. today, I was famished. I made my breakfast. It was a little different than what I usually have: one egg, 1/4 cup 2% cheese, 1/3 cup chopped cherry tomatoes, and 4 ounces of shrimp (we're out of Canadian bacon), and two Tablespoons of cocktail sauce (not something I ever have with breakfast). I heated this up and then put the mixture on a sandwich thin (because we're out of real bread). It was surprisingly very tasty and filling.
The problem, I put it in the Weight Watchers eTools online...it's a freaking 11 Points! Holy crap! 406 calories, about 100 more than what I usually have with the Canadian bacon breakfast, and five Points higher than my normal six point breakfast. Lesson learned: put my food in eTools before I eat it. I probably would have had something different if I had done this, and definitely lower in Points.
By 11 a.m. I was starving again. I just had a banana and 4 oz. Activia fat-free vanilla yogurt, along with a cup of my new favorite tea (Good Earth Original, a yummy naturally sweet cinnamon tea). 160 calories or 2 Weight Watcher Points. I feel okay now, still a little hungry but I can live with it. I'm trying to suck down as much water as possible to keep the hunger pains away. It's not working as well as it usually does.
Calorie count so far today: 566
Points: 13
It's only 1 p.m. I'm not sure why this seems a lot tougher today than I remember. Maybe because I'm really focusing and doing what it takes to ignore these hunger pains. Is it real hunger I wonder, or is it all in my head? Either way, I don't like it but I can live through it.
Plans for the day, next up is the gym. My husband wants to go with me (he's off work toay). There's always the debate of taking two cars since he will only do one hour, that's his personal limit for the gym. I prefer one and half hours when I have time. We'll see.
Then it's home to wrap presents and make a chicken barley soup recipe I found in one of my old Jane Brody cookbooks. It's a cookbook I bought about 15 years ago during my vegetarian, organic, health food phase (1995-1997). I remember I bought it because it had a lot of vegetarian recipes in it.
I never made the soup but it sounds really good. About five years ago I gave away most of my cookbooks. I use to be a cookbook fanatic. I had about 50 of them. I decided to downsize and only kept five of my favorite cookbooks since I get most of my recipes online (of course, I've been adding Weight Watcher cookbooks, which I rarely use...most recipes I get from eTools).
Jane Brody was the top of the list as a keeper cookbook. Funny thing, I weighed 127 pounds when I was cooking from this cookbook and there isn't any nutritional information. They're very healthy, low-fat and delicious. I'm going to put all the ingredients into the WW recipe builder but I suspect it'll be about six or seven Points a serving. Of course, my estimates are off on everything these days with the new WW plan so we'll see how off I am on this one.
I hope everyone is enjoying their day. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I can't believe how time is flying. 2011 is right around the corner. If nothing else, I'm going to be under my January 1, 2010 weight of 177 by January 1, 2011. Whatever it takes, I have to at least to that for myself.
Rabu, 22 Desember 2010
God watches out for fools
My girlfriend says this a lot, that God watches out for fools, referring to herself when she does something really stupid. Today, I was a fool.
I did something so stupid I hesitated to even write about it. I didn't even tell my husband (and I'm not going to). It did wake me up and make me realize I really need to pay more attention to my actions.
I had one last trip to the mall today, for two gifts I didn't get on Tuesday (because the crowds were making me insane). My plan for the day was the gym this morning, then home and a shower before heading off to the mall for shopping and home before 2 p.m.
I had to call my niece this morning to let her know what time I'll be arriving in Fairbanks on Sunday. I love my niece. She's funny, witty, and loves to talk. As I sat in my car in the gym parking lot for an hour talking to her, I realized it was 9:30 a.m. I thought it best to head off to the mall and go to the gym later (and I did make it there this afternoon). Otherwise I'd get caught up in the early afternoon shopping madness.
Off I went, bluetooth stuck in my ear, listening to my niece talk about the challenges of raising three boys. I don't normally drive and talk on the phone. I personally don't think it's safe, at least not for me. It's very distracting and after a few near accidents I rarely do it anymore, but my niece really wanted to talk.
When I pulled into the mall parking garage my niece was still chatting. I love her to pieces but she does like to talk. I sat in my car for another 15 minutes, my headlights turned off, talking and laughing with her over the antics of her boys. Finally we said goodbye, and I headed into the mall.
After two hours (part of it spent trying to find the second Sephora in the mall--there are two of them on the opposite ends of the mall), I headed back to my car. I knew the general vicinity of where I parked but I didn't see my car at first. So I pulled out my key fob (which contains the key that I never use) and hit the unlock button so I could hear the location of my car. Nothing but silence.
When I'd pulled into the garage at about 10 a.m. the garage was partly empty. It was totally full at noon. Then I spotted my car. Practically right in front of me. I wondered why it didn't beep when I hit the unlock button on the key fob. I tried it again while looking at it. Silence. No lights. Weird.
As I got closer to my car I hit the trunk unlock button. Nothing. Dang! The battery must be dead on the key fob. That had never happened before but the car is almost two years old. I'd never stuck the key fob in the charger on the dash so maybe it was time.
As I got next to my car I pushed the button on the door handle to open it. It's a Nissan with a button start on the ignition and a button on the handle to unlock it. I usually don't even use the key fob except to open the trunk (or find it in a parking lot if I'm lost). As long as I have the key fob on me (usually in my purse), it opens with the press of the button on the door. The door didn't make it's normal beep-beep noise when it unlocks. It opened easily meaning I hadn't locked my car. No big deal, there wasn't anything in it. Even though I always lock it. Guess I was distracted talking on the phone when I got out of my car.
Then I got in my car. It felt like it was 100 degrees inside. This is Seattle, about 45 degrees today and it was an unheated garage. Then I realized what I'd done. I had left my car running, the heater going full blast, unlocked, in a crowded mall parking garage for two hours, three days before Christmas. Oh.My.God.
That is just about one of the stupidest stunts I've ever pulled. It's a miracle my car wasn't stolen. People steal locked cars that aren't running. I was horrified I could do something so incredibly irresponsible. I know nothing happened. The car was safe, I was safe (no one hiding in the back seat), so no harm no foul, right?
To be honest, this incident sort of scared me silly. As I was driving home, I started thinking about how I'm so easily distracted by life. Look Diana, shiny object!
I do the same thing with my weight loss. For months I've been floating along, watching others achieve success with their weight loss goals, while I drift along, up a few pounds down a few, then up a few more, until I managed to end up in the high 170's (177.6 this morning). I don't like this at all, and I'm not happy with myself.
After all these years of me gaining/losing/gaining weight you would think I could have this figured out by now. There is one thing I do know, I have to focus on my weight loss 100%. Yes, I have to work at a sometimes stressful job. I love to use that as an excuse, but seriously, it's just an excuse, and a pretty sorry one at that. Everyone has to work and everyone has stress in their life, yet a lot of you still manage to lose weight.
Then I was sick. Then it was Christmas week. I wonder what's next, a vacation to visit family in Alaska? It's always something with me, some distraction that I let pull me away from what I really need to be doing, focusing on losing weight. It requires 100% of my focus. No more shiny objects.
It's time to end the excuses for not losing weight. If I really want this (and I do) I need to move forward. I have to work at it because weight loss doesn't just happen to me while I'm doing other stuff. I need to totally focus on it. Eye on the prize. I need to stop being a fool.
I did something so stupid I hesitated to even write about it. I didn't even tell my husband (and I'm not going to). It did wake me up and make me realize I really need to pay more attention to my actions.
I had one last trip to the mall today, for two gifts I didn't get on Tuesday (because the crowds were making me insane). My plan for the day was the gym this morning, then home and a shower before heading off to the mall for shopping and home before 2 p.m.
I had to call my niece this morning to let her know what time I'll be arriving in Fairbanks on Sunday. I love my niece. She's funny, witty, and loves to talk. As I sat in my car in the gym parking lot for an hour talking to her, I realized it was 9:30 a.m. I thought it best to head off to the mall and go to the gym later (and I did make it there this afternoon). Otherwise I'd get caught up in the early afternoon shopping madness.
Off I went, bluetooth stuck in my ear, listening to my niece talk about the challenges of raising three boys. I don't normally drive and talk on the phone. I personally don't think it's safe, at least not for me. It's very distracting and after a few near accidents I rarely do it anymore, but my niece really wanted to talk.
When I pulled into the mall parking garage my niece was still chatting. I love her to pieces but she does like to talk. I sat in my car for another 15 minutes, my headlights turned off, talking and laughing with her over the antics of her boys. Finally we said goodbye, and I headed into the mall.
After two hours (part of it spent trying to find the second Sephora in the mall--there are two of them on the opposite ends of the mall), I headed back to my car. I knew the general vicinity of where I parked but I didn't see my car at first. So I pulled out my key fob (which contains the key that I never use) and hit the unlock button so I could hear the location of my car. Nothing but silence.
When I'd pulled into the garage at about 10 a.m. the garage was partly empty. It was totally full at noon. Then I spotted my car. Practically right in front of me. I wondered why it didn't beep when I hit the unlock button on the key fob. I tried it again while looking at it. Silence. No lights. Weird.
As I got closer to my car I hit the trunk unlock button. Nothing. Dang! The battery must be dead on the key fob. That had never happened before but the car is almost two years old. I'd never stuck the key fob in the charger on the dash so maybe it was time.
As I got next to my car I pushed the button on the door handle to open it. It's a Nissan with a button start on the ignition and a button on the handle to unlock it. I usually don't even use the key fob except to open the trunk (or find it in a parking lot if I'm lost). As long as I have the key fob on me (usually in my purse), it opens with the press of the button on the door. The door didn't make it's normal beep-beep noise when it unlocks. It opened easily meaning I hadn't locked my car. No big deal, there wasn't anything in it. Even though I always lock it. Guess I was distracted talking on the phone when I got out of my car.
Then I got in my car. It felt like it was 100 degrees inside. This is Seattle, about 45 degrees today and it was an unheated garage. Then I realized what I'd done. I had left my car running, the heater going full blast, unlocked, in a crowded mall parking garage for two hours, three days before Christmas. Oh.My.God.
That is just about one of the stupidest stunts I've ever pulled. It's a miracle my car wasn't stolen. People steal locked cars that aren't running. I was horrified I could do something so incredibly irresponsible. I know nothing happened. The car was safe, I was safe (no one hiding in the back seat), so no harm no foul, right?
What does this long, stupid story have to do with weight loss?
I do the same thing with my weight loss. For months I've been floating along, watching others achieve success with their weight loss goals, while I drift along, up a few pounds down a few, then up a few more, until I managed to end up in the high 170's (177.6 this morning). I don't like this at all, and I'm not happy with myself.
After all these years of me gaining/losing/gaining weight you would think I could have this figured out by now. There is one thing I do know, I have to focus on my weight loss 100%. Yes, I have to work at a sometimes stressful job. I love to use that as an excuse, but seriously, it's just an excuse, and a pretty sorry one at that. Everyone has to work and everyone has stress in their life, yet a lot of you still manage to lose weight.
Then I was sick. Then it was Christmas week. I wonder what's next, a vacation to visit family in Alaska? It's always something with me, some distraction that I let pull me away from what I really need to be doing, focusing on losing weight. It requires 100% of my focus. No more shiny objects.
It's time to end the excuses for not losing weight. If I really want this (and I do) I need to move forward. I have to work at it because weight loss doesn't just happen to me while I'm doing other stuff. I need to totally focus on it. Eye on the prize. I need to stop being a fool.
Selasa, 21 Desember 2010
So much happier today!
Yesterday was not my best day. I'm normally a pretty happy person. Even if I get down and depressed, I usually get over it pretty fast. Yesterday was not normal.
Today I woke up in a happy mood. Even after finding the still undecorated tree, with the exception of lights and the angel topper, laying on it's side on the floor. The angel was pulled off the top and being used as a kitten chew toy. Have I mentioned we have two six-month old kittens and the world is their oyster? If it's not nailed down (well, even it it is), it's their play thing. One of them even had some of the feathers from the angel's wings stuck in her whiskers. I couldn't help but laugh. This certainly isn't a Martha Stewart home.
I'm also thrilled I got my hair back to it's original state today. After three hours with my colorist and hair stylist, I look normal again. In the downer post that I deleted yesterday I mentioned I went to my best friend's niece, a hair stylist, to get a very cheap color and cut (huge mistake). It turned out to be the worst color and cut of my life.
I'm just not a totally bleached blond kind of gal. Every time I looked in the mirror I was horrified by my hair. The color was so bright and so blond that I felt like I needed sunglasses to even look at it. That was in front, the back was even a worse mess with white blond streaks against my natural dark blond hair.
After a lot of "corrective" coloring work which included low-lights, high-lights and some all over color, I don't look like a bleached blond bimbo anymore. My stylist took off an inch of length and it feels so much healthier. The layers, well, there wasn't much she could do about them other than trim them up, but at least they look like the layers were professionally added and I didn't take the scissors to my hair myself. My bangs are back to normal too.
I'm so much happier with my hair now. It's a little sad that so much of my identity is wrapped up in my hair. It seems rather shallow. I can't help it, that's just how I am about my hair. I sort of wish I had this same sort of obsession about my body. Maybe I'd be thin and totally in shape if I did (and even more shallow than I am now).
I also attribute my much happier mood today to the gym. I didn't go yesterday until 8pm, then when I got there my iPod was dead so I didn't even stay. When I got home and told my husband, his response was, well, you could have worked out anyway, without the iPod. Ummm, no, I can't. I've tried that before when the iPod was dead and it was pure torture without my music.
This morning was a great workout with an hour of hard cardio. 25 minutes of it was on the treadmill, with an incline of 15 at 4mph, or an incline 15 at 5mph. 35 minutes on the crossramp. It set my mood for the entire day...happy!
Dinner was a piece of flank steak and a big green salad with some yummy low-cal yogurt dressing I discovered. It's Marie's Yogurt Dressing, in the cooler by the produce, half the fat and half the calories of regular dressing. I bought the blue cheese (although there weren't any blue cheese chunks in it...of course not). It was actually really good for store bought dressing.
Tomorrow is an early Weight Watchers meeting. My normal day is Saturday, but that's Christmas, so I'm going to my regular leader tomorrow for my weighin and meeting. Then more shopping.
Oh my gosh...on Dr. Phil they just said that a one-pound box of candy is about 10,000 calories. I use to eat a one-pound box of Sees candy at Christmas, when I was on my binges (and yes, in one day!). Dr. Phil has a couple on the show that always gains about 35-50 pounds each, each year during the holidays. Dr. Phil is pushing a book, something about losing 15 pounds in 17 days (17daydiet.com). And no, I'm not buying the book. :)
Oh - you'll love this - they (Dr. Phil and the author of the 17 day diet book) both just said that new scientific evidence proves that taking off weight fast doesn't mean you'll regain the weight fast. It's contrary to what everyone has thought all these years. Interesting.
Today I woke up in a happy mood. Even after finding the still undecorated tree, with the exception of lights and the angel topper, laying on it's side on the floor. The angel was pulled off the top and being used as a kitten chew toy. Have I mentioned we have two six-month old kittens and the world is their oyster? If it's not nailed down (well, even it it is), it's their play thing. One of them even had some of the feathers from the angel's wings stuck in her whiskers. I couldn't help but laugh. This certainly isn't a Martha Stewart home.
I'm also thrilled I got my hair back to it's original state today. After three hours with my colorist and hair stylist, I look normal again. In the downer post that I deleted yesterday I mentioned I went to my best friend's niece, a hair stylist, to get a very cheap color and cut (huge mistake). It turned out to be the worst color and cut of my life.
I'm just not a totally bleached blond kind of gal. Every time I looked in the mirror I was horrified by my hair. The color was so bright and so blond that I felt like I needed sunglasses to even look at it. That was in front, the back was even a worse mess with white blond streaks against my natural dark blond hair.
After a lot of "corrective" coloring work which included low-lights, high-lights and some all over color, I don't look like a bleached blond bimbo anymore. My stylist took off an inch of length and it feels so much healthier. The layers, well, there wasn't much she could do about them other than trim them up, but at least they look like the layers were professionally added and I didn't take the scissors to my hair myself. My bangs are back to normal too.
I'm so much happier with my hair now. It's a little sad that so much of my identity is wrapped up in my hair. It seems rather shallow. I can't help it, that's just how I am about my hair. I sort of wish I had this same sort of obsession about my body. Maybe I'd be thin and totally in shape if I did (and even more shallow than I am now).
**********
The gymI also attribute my much happier mood today to the gym. I didn't go yesterday until 8pm, then when I got there my iPod was dead so I didn't even stay. When I got home and told my husband, his response was, well, you could have worked out anyway, without the iPod. Ummm, no, I can't. I've tried that before when the iPod was dead and it was pure torture without my music.
This morning was a great workout with an hour of hard cardio. 25 minutes of it was on the treadmill, with an incline of 15 at 4mph, or an incline 15 at 5mph. 35 minutes on the crossramp. It set my mood for the entire day...happy!
**********
The food
I was actually too busy to eat today until about 6 p.m. Even after my workout this morning I only had a banana, then I had to rush to my hair appointment, then I shopped until I dropped (I'm almost done!). I know this isn't healthy, and it's not my normal. Dinner was a piece of flank steak and a big green salad with some yummy low-cal yogurt dressing I discovered. It's Marie's Yogurt Dressing, in the cooler by the produce, half the fat and half the calories of regular dressing. I bought the blue cheese (although there weren't any blue cheese chunks in it...of course not). It was actually really good for store bought dressing.
**********
Oh my gosh...on Dr. Phil they just said that a one-pound box of candy is about 10,000 calories. I use to eat a one-pound box of Sees candy at Christmas, when I was on my binges (and yes, in one day!). Dr. Phil has a couple on the show that always gains about 35-50 pounds each, each year during the holidays. Dr. Phil is pushing a book, something about losing 15 pounds in 17 days (17daydiet.com). And no, I'm not buying the book. :)
Oh - you'll love this - they (Dr. Phil and the author of the 17 day diet book) both just said that new scientific evidence proves that taking off weight fast doesn't mean you'll regain the weight fast. It's contrary to what everyone has thought all these years. Interesting.
Senin, 20 Desember 2010
Found it!
Found the joy!
First, I'm really sorry about that awful post I wrote earlier today. I'm not sure where that came from or why I was so angry. I just re-read it and deleted it. Hopefully not too many people read it.
After I put up the Christmas tree, sans decorations (my husband will help with that tonight), I decided to go Christmas shopping. After visiting the mall and two other stores, I came home empty handed. The stores are packed with shoppers. The lines were incredibly long, so I gave up, not one single gift was purchased. I had a few in my hands but when I saw the lines, I knew it could wait.
As I was driving home, listening to Silent Night being sung by Bing Crosby on the radio it occurred to me, what is all the fuss about? Why am I all stressed out? I'm not Martha Stewart, and I'm not going to have the perfectly decorated tree. The relatives in other states aren't going to get their gifts on time and they probably aren't going to get the perfect gift from us either (at the rate I'm going, they'll be lucky to get a card).
When I pulled into our driveway I could see the tree in the front winter. I left the lights on it turned on and it looked so pretty. Festive and happy. It made me smile.
It's Christmas. I'm going to relax, stop stressing about stupid stuff, and just enjoy my time off.
Merry Christmas! <---said without sarcasm. :)
First, I'm really sorry about that awful post I wrote earlier today. I'm not sure where that came from or why I was so angry. I just re-read it and deleted it. Hopefully not too many people read it.
After I put up the Christmas tree, sans decorations (my husband will help with that tonight), I decided to go Christmas shopping. After visiting the mall and two other stores, I came home empty handed. The stores are packed with shoppers. The lines were incredibly long, so I gave up, not one single gift was purchased. I had a few in my hands but when I saw the lines, I knew it could wait.
As I was driving home, listening to Silent Night being sung by Bing Crosby on the radio it occurred to me, what is all the fuss about? Why am I all stressed out? I'm not Martha Stewart, and I'm not going to have the perfectly decorated tree. The relatives in other states aren't going to get their gifts on time and they probably aren't going to get the perfect gift from us either (at the rate I'm going, they'll be lucky to get a card).
When I pulled into our driveway I could see the tree in the front winter. I left the lights on it turned on and it looked so pretty. Festive and happy. It made me smile.
It's Christmas. I'm going to relax, stop stressing about stupid stuff, and just enjoy my time off.
Merry Christmas! <---said without sarcasm. :)
Returning to the land of the living
The past week
It was a very bad week. My cold that started on Monday knocked me flat for almost six days. I basically became a bed person. I was living on NyQuil, and totally not paying attention to what I was eating.
Of course, I didn't see the inside of the gym or any form of exercise the entire time. Six days of no exercise. That's the longest I've gone in almost three years without getting some form of exercise.
I also had major issues with drinking water. My throat was so sore that swallowing was extremely painful. The only beverage I could drink without discomfort was hot tea.
A new week
This morning I woke up and was able to breathe, my sinus headache was gone, and my sore throat is only sore from coughing, a huge improvement. And when I cough, it doesn't feel like chunks of my lungs are being ripped out. I feel human and normal and alive. It is a wonderful feeling.
The damage from six days of not paying attention to what I was eating: a five-pound gain. From 177 to 182. Yikes!
Today I'm back on the straight and narrow. I've eaten very healthy today, but I'm under my Points. I've had 24 Points and should have had 29 (and only two fruits). For some bizarre reason I'm just not hungry. Perhaps stuffing my face for six days has something to do with it. I don't believe in eating when you're not hungry. As someone who is always hungry, I'll take advantage of this while I can. I'm sure it won't last.
I made it to they gym this afternoon. I was really anxious to get back. It was difficult with a lot of burning in my lungs, but I managed 15 minutes on the crosstrainer for my warmup, 30 minutes on the StairMaster (which just about killed me!), and a good upper body strength workout for 40 minutes. It was hard, and it hurt, especially my lungs, but it felt great to be exercising again.
What I learned
I learned something about myself this week. For several years I've said that I could easily become one of the super obese, weighing in excess of 500 pounds and becoming a bed person. I was almost halfway there at 240 pounds.
I have major food issues, and I thought my compulsion with food could overtake me at any time. I would be one of those people that would never leave my home. I'd be in the news when I died and they had to cut down the walls of my home to get me out.
I realize these are horrible thoughts and no one in their right mind would think this could really happen to them. Whether or not I'm in my right mind is always up for debate, but I really did believe this about myself. I knew if I let my guard down, that is exactly how I'd wind up.
Today, while I was on the StairMaster and my lungs felt like they were on fire, I thought that it's probably unlikely that I will let myself get totally out of control with food for any length of time. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but I am saying that if it's within my power, I won't let it happen. I like feeling alive.
It was a very bad week. My cold that started on Monday knocked me flat for almost six days. I basically became a bed person. I was living on NyQuil, and totally not paying attention to what I was eating.
Of course, I didn't see the inside of the gym or any form of exercise the entire time. Six days of no exercise. That's the longest I've gone in almost three years without getting some form of exercise.
I also had major issues with drinking water. My throat was so sore that swallowing was extremely painful. The only beverage I could drink without discomfort was hot tea.
A new week
This morning I woke up and was able to breathe, my sinus headache was gone, and my sore throat is only sore from coughing, a huge improvement. And when I cough, it doesn't feel like chunks of my lungs are being ripped out. I feel human and normal and alive. It is a wonderful feeling.
The damage from six days of not paying attention to what I was eating: a five-pound gain. From 177 to 182. Yikes!
Today I'm back on the straight and narrow. I've eaten very healthy today, but I'm under my Points. I've had 24 Points and should have had 29 (and only two fruits). For some bizarre reason I'm just not hungry. Perhaps stuffing my face for six days has something to do with it. I don't believe in eating when you're not hungry. As someone who is always hungry, I'll take advantage of this while I can. I'm sure it won't last.
I made it to they gym this afternoon. I was really anxious to get back. It was difficult with a lot of burning in my lungs, but I managed 15 minutes on the crosstrainer for my warmup, 30 minutes on the StairMaster (which just about killed me!), and a good upper body strength workout for 40 minutes. It was hard, and it hurt, especially my lungs, but it felt great to be exercising again.
What I learned
I learned something about myself this week. For several years I've said that I could easily become one of the super obese, weighing in excess of 500 pounds and becoming a bed person. I was almost halfway there at 240 pounds.
I have major food issues, and I thought my compulsion with food could overtake me at any time. I would be one of those people that would never leave my home. I'd be in the news when I died and they had to cut down the walls of my home to get me out.
I realize these are horrible thoughts and no one in their right mind would think this could really happen to them. Whether or not I'm in my right mind is always up for debate, but I really did believe this about myself. I knew if I let my guard down, that is exactly how I'd wind up.
Today, while I was on the StairMaster and my lungs felt like they were on fire, I thought that it's probably unlikely that I will let myself get totally out of control with food for any length of time. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but I am saying that if it's within my power, I won't let it happen. I like feeling alive.
Rabu, 15 Desember 2010
Down with a cold...Merry Christmas to me
I've had a sore throat for four days, with a few sneezes here and there, so I thought maybe it was an allergy to something. Well, it turns out I was coming down with a nasty cold. Today I have it full force and it is not fun.
Maybe that's why I've been so tired these last few days. Yesterday I forced myself to clean the house, top to bottom, to prepare for putting up the Christmas decorations. It was a miserable day. Between coughing and sneezing I managed to get the hardwood floors sparkling, all the clutter cleared away to make room for Christmas clutter, then by 7pm I literally fell into bed. I was exhausted.
There's still not a single Christmas decoration up, instead we have bare spaces everywhere. It sort of looks like no one lives here. I kind of like that look.
I was super annoyed last night when I discovered we were out of NyQuil. Not totally out, there was about a teaspoon left in the bottle. Then I remembered my husband had a bad cold a few months ago and lived on NyQuil for about three days. He never mentioned we needed to pick up some more. I still slept twelve hours, even without the NyQuil.
Plans for today are to make some chicken noodle soup, a Weight Watcher recipe. Next I'll watch movies in bed and maybe, if I'm up to it, write my third Christmas card (I wrote a second one yesterday).
Yes, I'm really moving along on this Christmas thing. My best friend that is also on vacation at home this week and is also down with a cold, and who loves Christmas like no one you know, told me yesterday maybe she could just sleep through Christmas this year. She said "it'll be over in two weeks, and I could easily sleep for two weeks, then it would be all over". Talk about two Scrooges!
No gym yesterday, but I was working up a sweat from cleaning house (or maybe that was a fever). No gym today either. I sort of hurt everywhere, and I don't really feel like working out. Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe that's why I've been so tired these last few days. Yesterday I forced myself to clean the house, top to bottom, to prepare for putting up the Christmas decorations. It was a miserable day. Between coughing and sneezing I managed to get the hardwood floors sparkling, all the clutter cleared away to make room for Christmas clutter, then by 7pm I literally fell into bed. I was exhausted.
There's still not a single Christmas decoration up, instead we have bare spaces everywhere. It sort of looks like no one lives here. I kind of like that look.
I was super annoyed last night when I discovered we were out of NyQuil. Not totally out, there was about a teaspoon left in the bottle. Then I remembered my husband had a bad cold a few months ago and lived on NyQuil for about three days. He never mentioned we needed to pick up some more. I still slept twelve hours, even without the NyQuil.
Plans for today are to make some chicken noodle soup, a Weight Watcher recipe. Next I'll watch movies in bed and maybe, if I'm up to it, write my third Christmas card (I wrote a second one yesterday).
Yes, I'm really moving along on this Christmas thing. My best friend that is also on vacation at home this week and is also down with a cold, and who loves Christmas like no one you know, told me yesterday maybe she could just sleep through Christmas this year. She said "it'll be over in two weeks, and I could easily sleep for two weeks, then it would be all over". Talk about two Scrooges!
No gym yesterday, but I was working up a sweat from cleaning house (or maybe that was a fever). No gym today either. I sort of hurt everywhere, and I don't really feel like working out. Maybe tomorrow.
Senin, 13 Desember 2010
24 Days
I'm on vacation from work, 24 glorious days. Days of doing what I want, when I want and how I want. Twenty four days of having total control of my life. I could get use to living like this.
I don't have any plans for this time, just time at home, relaxing, taking it easy. Some of my coworkers consider this a waste of vacation time. I consider it something I really needed for myself. Some quiet time .
The problem is that I feel like I'm wasting time. I'm four days into my vacation and although I'm loving doing nothing, I still have things I need to do, and for some reason, I'm not doing them.
Christmas shopping, Christmas cards and decorating the house are at the top of my list. Yet each day I tell myself I don't feel like it today, maybe tomorrow. My husband says it's post-traumatic stress from months of long hours at work, and that I'm tired from trying to meet what seemed like impossible deadlines. He keeps telling me I deserve a break.
Maybe he's right, or maybe I'm just lazy. Regardless, I've decided to set a schedule for myself tomorrow. A flexible one, but one where I have to get at least a few things done. I wrote out one Christmas card today. That was my big accomplishment (and the gym, always the gym).
It also occurred to me this would be a great time to do the Twenty Day experiment. I've been following Roxie doing it and it sounds sort of fun. It just happens I have 20 days left of my vacation, a perfect time to do this experiment.
Exercise and Food
I've rediscovered Pomegranates. They're at the peak right now, and I absolutely love them. They keep my hands busy for a good 45 minutes, eating them one arils (juice/seed sacs) at a time.
The only issue I'm having with them is that Weight Watchers now has the zero Points for fruits rule. So that makes Pomegranates, well, zero Points. One big Pomegranate (4" in diameter) is 234 calories. I know these are healthy calories, but still, they are calories.
Just for fun I entered the nutritional information (fat 3.4, protein 4.7, carbs 52.7 and fiber 11.3) into the PointsPlus calculator online and the Pomegranate (if fruit had Points) would be 6 Points. I know this isn't how the new plan works, and I'm not suppose to think of fruit having Points, but you know what I'm thinking. I could gain weight on Pomegranates if I ate enough of them.
Exercise was good today. 10 minutes on the crosstrainer for my warmup and then a hard push on the StairMaster for 30 minutes. There was an old guy on the one next to me and I think we were having a competition. He looked like he was about 70 and he was really going to town, taking two steps to my one (and my average step rate is 67 steps per minute). Although he was leaning heavily on the front railing (a no-no to proper form on the StairMaster). I also got in 40 minutes of weight lifting, upper body.
Tomorrow...Day One of Twenty.
I don't have any plans for this time, just time at home, relaxing, taking it easy. Some of my coworkers consider this a waste of vacation time. I consider it something I really needed for myself. Some quiet time .
The problem is that I feel like I'm wasting time. I'm four days into my vacation and although I'm loving doing nothing, I still have things I need to do, and for some reason, I'm not doing them.
Christmas shopping, Christmas cards and decorating the house are at the top of my list. Yet each day I tell myself I don't feel like it today, maybe tomorrow. My husband says it's post-traumatic stress from months of long hours at work, and that I'm tired from trying to meet what seemed like impossible deadlines. He keeps telling me I deserve a break.
Maybe he's right, or maybe I'm just lazy. Regardless, I've decided to set a schedule for myself tomorrow. A flexible one, but one where I have to get at least a few things done. I wrote out one Christmas card today. That was my big accomplishment (and the gym, always the gym).
It also occurred to me this would be a great time to do the Twenty Day experiment. I've been following Roxie doing it and it sounds sort of fun. It just happens I have 20 days left of my vacation, a perfect time to do this experiment.
Exercise and Food
I've rediscovered Pomegranates. They're at the peak right now, and I absolutely love them. They keep my hands busy for a good 45 minutes, eating them one arils (juice/seed sacs) at a time.
The only issue I'm having with them is that Weight Watchers now has the zero Points for fruits rule. So that makes Pomegranates, well, zero Points. One big Pomegranate (4" in diameter) is 234 calories. I know these are healthy calories, but still, they are calories.
Just for fun I entered the nutritional information (fat 3.4, protein 4.7, carbs 52.7 and fiber 11.3) into the PointsPlus calculator online and the Pomegranate (if fruit had Points) would be 6 Points. I know this isn't how the new plan works, and I'm not suppose to think of fruit having Points, but you know what I'm thinking. I could gain weight on Pomegranates if I ate enough of them.
Exercise was good today. 10 minutes on the crosstrainer for my warmup and then a hard push on the StairMaster for 30 minutes. There was an old guy on the one next to me and I think we were having a competition. He looked like he was about 70 and he was really going to town, taking two steps to my one (and my average step rate is 67 steps per minute). Although he was leaning heavily on the front railing (a no-no to proper form on the StairMaster). I also got in 40 minutes of weight lifting, upper body.
Tomorrow...Day One of Twenty.
Minggu, 12 Desember 2010
Saturday's weighin and a fear of stairs
Saturday, December 10, 2010 Weigh-in: 177.8
Loss for the week: -0.8
Total loss since 2/9/2008: -61.4
I'm not very happy with myself about such a minor loss, but at least it's a loss. I'm still on track for my goal of losing an average of 1.5 pounds per week. I lost 2.2 pounds the previous week, and with this .8 that's three pounds in two weeks. Not the numbers I want, but the numbers I earned (through lack of discipline).
Even though I vowed to stop eating what Helen refers to "Franken Food" (love that phrase), I somehow managed to eat an entire package of Skinny Cows at FOUR Points each. In one day! That was just one incident that led to such a small weight loss. I had a few others.
It's a new day, a new week, new plan. This week will be better. I promise!
The Big Climb
I'm starting to realize what I got myself into by agreeing to do the Big Climb, 69 flights of stairs at the Columbia Center in Seattle on March 20, 2011. I watched some videos on YouTube about it and frankly my dear, I'm a little bit scared of what I've committed to. It appears to be a young, very physically fit person's sport.
I looked at the race results for last year and the oldest person was an eighty year old woman. She completed the race in 35 minutes. My 50-year old coworker completed it in 15 minutes last year.
Of course I'm not going into this as a race, but I want decent results. As the team captain for our work group I want to do a good job. So far I have 30 people that have agreed to do this with me as part of our corporate team, and I only announced it last Tuesday. At the encouragement of my coworker I signed our team up as a timed team, meaning we'll have the little chip in our shoes for the timing.
I've found all kinds of articles online about stair climbing as a sport. Tips on stair climbing techniques, workouts, and what you should wear (gloves with rubber pads on the fingers, running shoes not cross trainers). The workouts I've seen are tough, focusing not just on the quads and the glutes, but the arms and shoulders (you use the railings to pull yourself up), and the core (apparently a strong core is crucial).
In other words, I have a lot of work to do. No more non-structured workouts where I do what I want. I have to add in some exercises that will strengthen the areas I've been ignoring, like my core and abs. As I've mentioned many times, I hate lower body workouts, like squats and lunges. I do them, but half-hearted. Sometimes on lower body workout days (three a week), I decide I'm not in the mood and double up on my cardio. Since these are areas I need to really focus on, I have to really get serious about my workouts.
The other thing I need to get serious about is losing my 20 pounds. This is really critical. There's no way I can climb 69 flights at my current weight of 177.8 pounds. That's too heavy. I have to get under 160. The closer I can get to 155 the better. I have exactly fourteen weeks from today. If I can continue the 1.5 pounds lost per week, I could lose the 20 pounds. I really need to stay focused. I don't want March 20 to come and I feel scared and defeated before I even start the climb. I have a lot of work ahead of me.
By the way, if anyone wants to donate to the Big Climb click here. Even a $5 gift would be appreciated. All proceeds benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Your tax deductible donation helps in the fight against blood cancers.
Loss for the week: -0.8
Total loss since 2/9/2008: -61.4
I'm not very happy with myself about such a minor loss, but at least it's a loss. I'm still on track for my goal of losing an average of 1.5 pounds per week. I lost 2.2 pounds the previous week, and with this .8 that's three pounds in two weeks. Not the numbers I want, but the numbers I earned (through lack of discipline).
Even though I vowed to stop eating what Helen refers to "Franken Food" (love that phrase), I somehow managed to eat an entire package of Skinny Cows at FOUR Points each. In one day! That was just one incident that led to such a small weight loss. I had a few others.
It's a new day, a new week, new plan. This week will be better. I promise!
The Big Climb
I'm starting to realize what I got myself into by agreeing to do the Big Climb, 69 flights of stairs at the Columbia Center in Seattle on March 20, 2011. I watched some videos on YouTube about it and frankly my dear, I'm a little bit scared of what I've committed to. It appears to be a young, very physically fit person's sport.
I looked at the race results for last year and the oldest person was an eighty year old woman. She completed the race in 35 minutes. My 50-year old coworker completed it in 15 minutes last year.
Of course I'm not going into this as a race, but I want decent results. As the team captain for our work group I want to do a good job. So far I have 30 people that have agreed to do this with me as part of our corporate team, and I only announced it last Tuesday. At the encouragement of my coworker I signed our team up as a timed team, meaning we'll have the little chip in our shoes for the timing.
I've found all kinds of articles online about stair climbing as a sport. Tips on stair climbing techniques, workouts, and what you should wear (gloves with rubber pads on the fingers, running shoes not cross trainers). The workouts I've seen are tough, focusing not just on the quads and the glutes, but the arms and shoulders (you use the railings to pull yourself up), and the core (apparently a strong core is crucial).
In other words, I have a lot of work to do. No more non-structured workouts where I do what I want. I have to add in some exercises that will strengthen the areas I've been ignoring, like my core and abs. As I've mentioned many times, I hate lower body workouts, like squats and lunges. I do them, but half-hearted. Sometimes on lower body workout days (three a week), I decide I'm not in the mood and double up on my cardio. Since these are areas I need to really focus on, I have to really get serious about my workouts.
The other thing I need to get serious about is losing my 20 pounds. This is really critical. There's no way I can climb 69 flights at my current weight of 177.8 pounds. That's too heavy. I have to get under 160. The closer I can get to 155 the better. I have exactly fourteen weeks from today. If I can continue the 1.5 pounds lost per week, I could lose the 20 pounds. I really need to stay focused. I don't want March 20 to come and I feel scared and defeated before I even start the climb. I have a lot of work ahead of me.
By the way, if anyone wants to donate to the Big Climb click here. Even a $5 gift would be appreciated. All proceeds benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Your tax deductible donation helps in the fight against blood cancers.
Jumat, 10 Desember 2010
Day 805-813 Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!
Day 805-813
Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!
A friend of mine sent me a big box of jeans recently. Really nice jeans too! Even a pair of size 32 Lucky Jeans. I'm wondering if he meant to send those. It might take some time, workouts, and maybe excess skin removal surgery to wear them--but I think they just became my "one of these days" jeans. It was a generous gift, indeed. And perhaps I can pass along the favor to someone else someday. I will, absolutely!
Speaking of new jeans. In the archives on Day 85, December 8th, 2008---I found this excerpt, all about getting into smaller jeans. "Smaller," being size 54's:
"Today has been a really long day. It started at 5am and it's not over yet! Kelli and I went to Oklahoma City, Kelli for a birth certificate, I was driving Kelli, and since I was down that way picked up a pair of Levis at the Big and Tall store. The other day I predicted that I would fit into a mens 54. After picking out a few 54's and a couple 56's, I went in to the dressing room to get some proof positive results! I tried on the Levis 560 54 inch waist first. And from the moment they buttoned and zipped without trouble, I knew they were the ones. Eighty-Five days ago I was a size 60 or 62, then I nailed the guess the other day! And these will only cover my hide for a very short time, I know, but it felt so good to get into them comfortably. I immediately ripped off all the tags, put on my shoes, and made my way to the checkout with the jeans I wore in the store bundled in my hand. I was buying these jeans. And I wasn't even going to take them off for the ride home. They were mine. They felt good, they were Levis! It's been a while since I could fit into Levis comfortably. On the way out of the store I gave a little wink to the 36's on the top shelf, as if to say... “I'll be back for you someday soon!” And I will! I wonder what that will feel like? I can't wait to find out! Before that triumphant jean buying trip, I'll buy bigger sizes along the way, sure. Size 42 will be a milestone size. That's the size I was wearing in 9th grade. I'm really not that far away!! It felt so good to wear those jeans out of the store, I didn't even notice how tired I was."
Now, after losing 275 pounds, and having a pair of size 36 Levis that fit nicely--It's very cool to read that excerpt and realize: I buy jeans from the top shelf now, you know...where they keep the smaller sizes! I love it!
I've had several emails asking me about my plan for maintenance. Like everything else along this road, I'm gradually getting there. I'm not quite ready for maintenance just yet. BUT---I am slowly increasing my calories. My budget is flexible now, anywhere between 1500 and 1800 is fine with me. I must say though, there are days when I still have trouble hitting 1500. Let me explain, because for some, that must sound really annoying to read. I have become very practiced at getting the most bang for my calorie "buck," and that natural tendency to trim calories where I can is kind of hard to shake. Instead of an egg white omelet, it's OK to throw in a whole egg, maybe two sometimes. I can add a little cheese to that baked potato. I can "afford" to spend a little more occasionally, on things I would normally trim or delete. The bottom line is this: I'm just eating like a normal person, not like a food addict. I no longer depend on food to make me happy. I make me happy, not ice cream or gravy. Food is good. I love food, always will. But food and I have a new and wonderful relationship that isn't dysfunctional. And it's something I never really thought possible, but now I know it is, because I'm living it everyday.
An example of this new understanding between food and me was very clear just last weekend at a wonderful place called: (Cue scary music) The Cheesecake Factory!!! I did my research going in, and really--I didn't like what I discovered. Their menu is loaded at almost every turn. Even things that look and sound innocent enough, must be prepared with butter, grease, and heavy cream, because the calorie counts are anything but innocent. I was really shocked. I was surprised too, about the cheesecake. A big regular slice was just over 700 calories, slightly under 360 for half--and that's what I did, half. It was a bit more calories than I normally "invest" in dessert, but that's just something that happens sometimes. I need to make that a t-shirt: Cheesecake--It happens, sometimes...was it good?
Yes --It was by far the best cheesecake I've ever consumed!! Before the cheesecake, we enjoyed a meal. The strategy was simple: Karen and I would share a meal. We picked something good, that didn't seem too loaded. We would be guesstimating at best, because the pecan crusted catfish was a "special of the day," and not a part of the calorie counts I found online. And oh, by the way--the calorie counts I found online were from a person in the Northwestern United States, a place where calorie counts are required by law, who took digital pictures of the entire menu--with calorie counts. The eleven ounce catfish fillet was "crusted," but seared, then baked. I had half--along with half a serving of the potatoes (which qualified as a regular serving) and half the corn succotash. I'm confident my plate was under 600 calories...add the calories of the cheesecake, and this was easily a thousand calorie expenditure. But it wasn't three or four thousand calories--and I think Old Sean could have made it that way. I had managed my calories a little short earlier in the day, just for this trip. That's not always the best thing to do metabolism wise, but it's something normal people do. "I knew we were going out later, so I had a light lunch." See--completely normal rationale.
I experienced a couple of "wow" reactions recently, that really left me feeling wonderful. I just love running into people I haven't been around in over two years. The only thing recognizable about me, is my voice. That's it! And often times, that's what is said: "If I hadn't heard you speak, I wouldn't have known it was you!" I really enjoyed this one: "Sean, is that you??? How much weight have you lost, dear Lord---look at you!" Yeah--that was very cool. I NEVER, never, never get tired of those...ever.
I'm continuing to work on the manuscript for my first book, "Finding Transformation Road," a weight loss memoir that chronicles the road to and from over five hundred pounds. I sometimes wish I could share some of it with you here, but I can't. I'm so excited, because it's really been a positive experience. I can't wait for you to read this---If you have enjoyed reading this blog from Day 1, then you'll appreciate this upcoming book.
I've allowed my work schedule combined with my sometimes poor sleeping schedule, to effect my writing schedule this week, but I'm always mindful of what pays the bills at this point in my life, and that's my broadcasting career. I still struggle with getting enough quality sleep, and that's not good at all. I must also remember--sleep deprivation can have horrible effects on ones health and well being---including metabolism!!
I try to post regularly on my facebook page. I enjoy the dialogue that sometimes develops along a comment thread. You can learn some very good information! And often times--people who have opened their own "Calorie Bank and Trust," post updates on my wall---and it just absolutely thrills me!!! If we're not facebook friends--then please, by all means---search for me on facebook and friend me!!! I'm listed under my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com
To the kind and caring friend that reminded me that "there's no room for vanity in heaven." I say this: I've spent my entire life hating the way I looked, feeling like the ugliest person in every room, feeling like a freak because of my morbid obesity. Even now, I'm still highly insecure about how I look in so many ways. So, I appreciate the loving guidance and intent--but I will not apologize for kind of liking the new me. Call it vanity if you wish, whatever. I've been very blessed along this road, and I give thanks everyday---in between taking new pictures, of course. I'm kidding. Seriously---I never forget from where I've come. That's exactly why I have my "505" tattoo. It reminds me everyday...and that's good.
Thank you for reading, my friend...seriously, thank you! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
I love my tattoo!
At over 500 pounds!
Photo courtesy of Cathy Cole!
My "Speedracer" jacket...
I found these amazing ice cream bars from Breyers--for only 130 calories each!!! Love 'em!!!
The pecan crusted catfish dinner from The Cheesecake Factory--as served.
My half was plenty of food--very nice!
Homemade beef tacos and homemade guacamole---almost qualifies as a salad...almost.
Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!
A friend of mine sent me a big box of jeans recently. Really nice jeans too! Even a pair of size 32 Lucky Jeans. I'm wondering if he meant to send those. It might take some time, workouts, and maybe excess skin removal surgery to wear them--but I think they just became my "one of these days" jeans. It was a generous gift, indeed. And perhaps I can pass along the favor to someone else someday. I will, absolutely!
Speaking of new jeans. In the archives on Day 85, December 8th, 2008---I found this excerpt, all about getting into smaller jeans. "Smaller," being size 54's:
"Today has been a really long day. It started at 5am and it's not over yet! Kelli and I went to Oklahoma City, Kelli for a birth certificate, I was driving Kelli, and since I was down that way picked up a pair of Levis at the Big and Tall store. The other day I predicted that I would fit into a mens 54. After picking out a few 54's and a couple 56's, I went in to the dressing room to get some proof positive results! I tried on the Levis 560 54 inch waist first. And from the moment they buttoned and zipped without trouble, I knew they were the ones. Eighty-Five days ago I was a size 60 or 62, then I nailed the guess the other day! And these will only cover my hide for a very short time, I know, but it felt so good to get into them comfortably. I immediately ripped off all the tags, put on my shoes, and made my way to the checkout with the jeans I wore in the store bundled in my hand. I was buying these jeans. And I wasn't even going to take them off for the ride home. They were mine. They felt good, they were Levis! It's been a while since I could fit into Levis comfortably. On the way out of the store I gave a little wink to the 36's on the top shelf, as if to say... “I'll be back for you someday soon!” And I will! I wonder what that will feel like? I can't wait to find out! Before that triumphant jean buying trip, I'll buy bigger sizes along the way, sure. Size 42 will be a milestone size. That's the size I was wearing in 9th grade. I'm really not that far away!! It felt so good to wear those jeans out of the store, I didn't even notice how tired I was."
Now, after losing 275 pounds, and having a pair of size 36 Levis that fit nicely--It's very cool to read that excerpt and realize: I buy jeans from the top shelf now, you know...where they keep the smaller sizes! I love it!
I've had several emails asking me about my plan for maintenance. Like everything else along this road, I'm gradually getting there. I'm not quite ready for maintenance just yet. BUT---I am slowly increasing my calories. My budget is flexible now, anywhere between 1500 and 1800 is fine with me. I must say though, there are days when I still have trouble hitting 1500. Let me explain, because for some, that must sound really annoying to read. I have become very practiced at getting the most bang for my calorie "buck," and that natural tendency to trim calories where I can is kind of hard to shake. Instead of an egg white omelet, it's OK to throw in a whole egg, maybe two sometimes. I can add a little cheese to that baked potato. I can "afford" to spend a little more occasionally, on things I would normally trim or delete. The bottom line is this: I'm just eating like a normal person, not like a food addict. I no longer depend on food to make me happy. I make me happy, not ice cream or gravy. Food is good. I love food, always will. But food and I have a new and wonderful relationship that isn't dysfunctional. And it's something I never really thought possible, but now I know it is, because I'm living it everyday.
An example of this new understanding between food and me was very clear just last weekend at a wonderful place called: (Cue scary music) The Cheesecake Factory!!! I did my research going in, and really--I didn't like what I discovered. Their menu is loaded at almost every turn. Even things that look and sound innocent enough, must be prepared with butter, grease, and heavy cream, because the calorie counts are anything but innocent. I was really shocked. I was surprised too, about the cheesecake. A big regular slice was just over 700 calories, slightly under 360 for half--and that's what I did, half. It was a bit more calories than I normally "invest" in dessert, but that's just something that happens sometimes. I need to make that a t-shirt: Cheesecake--It happens, sometimes...was it good?
Yes --It was by far the best cheesecake I've ever consumed!! Before the cheesecake, we enjoyed a meal. The strategy was simple: Karen and I would share a meal. We picked something good, that didn't seem too loaded. We would be guesstimating at best, because the pecan crusted catfish was a "special of the day," and not a part of the calorie counts I found online. And oh, by the way--the calorie counts I found online were from a person in the Northwestern United States, a place where calorie counts are required by law, who took digital pictures of the entire menu--with calorie counts. The eleven ounce catfish fillet was "crusted," but seared, then baked. I had half--along with half a serving of the potatoes (which qualified as a regular serving) and half the corn succotash. I'm confident my plate was under 600 calories...add the calories of the cheesecake, and this was easily a thousand calorie expenditure. But it wasn't three or four thousand calories--and I think Old Sean could have made it that way. I had managed my calories a little short earlier in the day, just for this trip. That's not always the best thing to do metabolism wise, but it's something normal people do. "I knew we were going out later, so I had a light lunch." See--completely normal rationale.
I experienced a couple of "wow" reactions recently, that really left me feeling wonderful. I just love running into people I haven't been around in over two years. The only thing recognizable about me, is my voice. That's it! And often times, that's what is said: "If I hadn't heard you speak, I wouldn't have known it was you!" I really enjoyed this one: "Sean, is that you??? How much weight have you lost, dear Lord---look at you!" Yeah--that was very cool. I NEVER, never, never get tired of those...ever.
I'm continuing to work on the manuscript for my first book, "Finding Transformation Road," a weight loss memoir that chronicles the road to and from over five hundred pounds. I sometimes wish I could share some of it with you here, but I can't. I'm so excited, because it's really been a positive experience. I can't wait for you to read this---If you have enjoyed reading this blog from Day 1, then you'll appreciate this upcoming book.
I've allowed my work schedule combined with my sometimes poor sleeping schedule, to effect my writing schedule this week, but I'm always mindful of what pays the bills at this point in my life, and that's my broadcasting career. I still struggle with getting enough quality sleep, and that's not good at all. I must also remember--sleep deprivation can have horrible effects on ones health and well being---including metabolism!!
I try to post regularly on my facebook page. I enjoy the dialogue that sometimes develops along a comment thread. You can learn some very good information! And often times--people who have opened their own "Calorie Bank and Trust," post updates on my wall---and it just absolutely thrills me!!! If we're not facebook friends--then please, by all means---search for me on facebook and friend me!!! I'm listed under my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com
To the kind and caring friend that reminded me that "there's no room for vanity in heaven." I say this: I've spent my entire life hating the way I looked, feeling like the ugliest person in every room, feeling like a freak because of my morbid obesity. Even now, I'm still highly insecure about how I look in so many ways. So, I appreciate the loving guidance and intent--but I will not apologize for kind of liking the new me. Call it vanity if you wish, whatever. I've been very blessed along this road, and I give thanks everyday---in between taking new pictures, of course. I'm kidding. Seriously---I never forget from where I've come. That's exactly why I have my "505" tattoo. It reminds me everyday...and that's good.
Thank you for reading, my friend...seriously, thank you! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
I love my tattoo!
At over 500 pounds!
Photo courtesy of Cathy Cole!
My "Speedracer" jacket...
I found these amazing ice cream bars from Breyers--for only 130 calories each!!! Love 'em!!!
The pecan crusted catfish dinner from The Cheesecake Factory--as served.
My half was plenty of food--very nice!
Homemade beef tacos and homemade guacamole---almost qualifies as a salad...almost.
Selasa, 07 Desember 2010
Some things work, some don't...this one didn't
Askfirmation versus Affirmation? Well, it was a swell idea, but it didn't work for me this morning. In fact, it had the reverse desired effect.
I woke up at my usual 4:40 a.m. intending to get up and get to the gym by 5 a.m. Instead of my normal self-talk of "get up, get going and just don't think about it", I had a debate with myself.
I thought about how I didn't have to go workout, that I could think about it, and asked myself "when would I work out today?" After falling back to sleep and waking up at 5:30 a.m., I thought about it some more. The bottom line, I made it to the gym by 6:20 a.m. This is unacceptable.
If you think I'm being too hard on myself, trust me, it's really easy for me to fall back into old, bad habits. Although I've been exercising consistently for three years, it doesn't take much to convince me it's not a necessity. I'm easily swayed. Look Diana, shiny object!
Exercise is a necessity for me. It's the only thing I've done consistently for three years. I try to eat right most of the time, but obviously I mess that one up pretty often (or I'd be skinny by now).
As far as when I exercise, it's not up for discussion. I exercise in the morning. Period. I need to be at the gym by 5:30 a.m., or 6 a.m. at the very latest. This has been working for me so I don't know why I thought it was necessary to change things. Some things should stay the same.
The Big Climb
I know I keep talking about this but I'm really excited the Big Climb. So far I have 20 people signed up to participate as part of a corporate team, and today was the first day I posted it.
We're going to plan a fundraiser breakfast. I also found out today I might be able to get my company give matching funds. Maybe. I'm setting a fundraising goal of $5,000. I know that's pretty high but that's what the Light of the Night group was able to raise for cancer last summer. I hope my team can the same.
Facebook & Twitter
Since I want to get the word out on The Big Climb, I'm going to join the 21st century and start posting on my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I've had these accounts set up for a long time, but basically I'm just a stalker. I never post anything, I just read about other people's lives. Hopefully this will help get the word out about the Big Climb.
The links to my Twitter and Facebook are in the upper right corner. Please friend me or follow me or whatever the heck you call it. I'd really appreciate it!
I woke up at my usual 4:40 a.m. intending to get up and get to the gym by 5 a.m. Instead of my normal self-talk of "get up, get going and just don't think about it", I had a debate with myself.
I thought about how I didn't have to go workout, that I could think about it, and asked myself "when would I work out today?" After falling back to sleep and waking up at 5:30 a.m., I thought about it some more. The bottom line, I made it to the gym by 6:20 a.m. This is unacceptable.
If you think I'm being too hard on myself, trust me, it's really easy for me to fall back into old, bad habits. Although I've been exercising consistently for three years, it doesn't take much to convince me it's not a necessity. I'm easily swayed. Look Diana, shiny object!
Exercise is a necessity for me. It's the only thing I've done consistently for three years. I try to eat right most of the time, but obviously I mess that one up pretty often (or I'd be skinny by now).
As far as when I exercise, it's not up for discussion. I exercise in the morning. Period. I need to be at the gym by 5:30 a.m., or 6 a.m. at the very latest. This has been working for me so I don't know why I thought it was necessary to change things. Some things should stay the same.
The Big Climb
I know I keep talking about this but I'm really excited the Big Climb. So far I have 20 people signed up to participate as part of a corporate team, and today was the first day I posted it.
We're going to plan a fundraiser breakfast. I also found out today I might be able to get my company give matching funds. Maybe. I'm setting a fundraising goal of $5,000. I know that's pretty high but that's what the Light of the Night group was able to raise for cancer last summer. I hope my team can the same.
Facebook & Twitter
Since I want to get the word out on The Big Climb, I'm going to join the 21st century and start posting on my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I've had these accounts set up for a long time, but basically I'm just a stalker. I never post anything, I just read about other people's lives. Hopefully this will help get the word out about the Big Climb.
The links to my Twitter and Facebook are in the upper right corner. Please friend me or follow me or whatever the heck you call it. I'd really appreciate it!
Senin, 06 Desember 2010
Affirmations or Askfirmations?
I've been reading a lot about stair climbing in the last 48 hours, since I decided to do The Big Climb March 20, 2011. Setting this as a goal, with a weight loss goal of 20 pounds by the time of event seems to have really motivated me. When I want to eat something not on plan, I think about climbing those stairs (like those chocolate truffles someone brought in to work today).
It turns out stair climbing is quite a competitive sport. Who knew? I certainly had no idea.
During my research on how to train (the StairMaster alone isn't go to be anywhere near enough - I have to do real stairs), I came across a very interesting article.
The article is Which is Better: Affirmations or “Askfirmations?” by PJ Glassey, but this is the excerpt that really caught my attention:
Is there a better way?
I am always on the hunt to reduce the need for willpower, because I firmly believe that achieving true fitness doesn’t have to be a battle. This is why I was so excited to read the research study by Dolores Albarracin, published in Psychological Science, April 2010, Volume 21, Number 4. She discovered that phrasing affirmations as a question instead of a statement drastically increased success! When people asked - “Am I going to exercise today?” instead of saying “I will exercise today.” – They were much more likely to follow through.
She found that framing the desired outcome as a question presented a challenge to the person -instead of a requirement that they might rebel against. By asking themselves a question, people were more likely to build their own motivation. The results of this experiment showed that participants not only did better as a result of the question, but that asking themselves a question did indeed increase their intrinsic motivation.
I really like this idea. There's rarely a morning that goes by where I don't have an argument with myself about going to the gym. It's a battle that usually I give up fighting it and just go, but I wonder if it might be easier if I try this approach that PJ talks about. Tomorrow morning I'm going to give it a try.
My food has been pretty good the last couple of days. Although I can't get over the zero Point fruit. It seems that I was spending a lot of my Points on fruit, as well as Points on vegetables because I never ate a 1/2 cup serving of any vegetable (and there were Points in vegetables if you ate more than a minimal sized serving).
Now that I don't have to do that I feel like I have a lot of Points available. I honestly don't know how this is going to work but I'm going to give it a try. I believe Weight Watchers knows what they're doing, but this one seems a little bit too lenient to me. I guess the proof will be in Saturday's weigh in.
It turns out stair climbing is quite a competitive sport. Who knew? I certainly had no idea.
During my research on how to train (the StairMaster alone isn't go to be anywhere near enough - I have to do real stairs), I came across a very interesting article.
The article is Which is Better: Affirmations or “Askfirmations?” by PJ Glassey, but this is the excerpt that really caught my attention:
Is there a better way?
I am always on the hunt to reduce the need for willpower, because I firmly believe that achieving true fitness doesn’t have to be a battle. This is why I was so excited to read the research study by Dolores Albarracin, published in Psychological Science, April 2010, Volume 21, Number 4. She discovered that phrasing affirmations as a question instead of a statement drastically increased success! When people asked - “Am I going to exercise today?” instead of saying “I will exercise today.” – They were much more likely to follow through.
She found that framing the desired outcome as a question presented a challenge to the person -instead of a requirement that they might rebel against. By asking themselves a question, people were more likely to build their own motivation. The results of this experiment showed that participants not only did better as a result of the question, but that asking themselves a question did indeed increase their intrinsic motivation.
I really like this idea. There's rarely a morning that goes by where I don't have an argument with myself about going to the gym. It's a battle that usually I give up fighting it and just go, but I wonder if it might be easier if I try this approach that PJ talks about. Tomorrow morning I'm going to give it a try.
My food has been pretty good the last couple of days. Although I can't get over the zero Point fruit. It seems that I was spending a lot of my Points on fruit, as well as Points on vegetables because I never ate a 1/2 cup serving of any vegetable (and there were Points in vegetables if you ate more than a minimal sized serving).
Now that I don't have to do that I feel like I have a lot of Points available. I honestly don't know how this is going to work but I'm going to give it a try. I believe Weight Watchers knows what they're doing, but this one seems a little bit too lenient to me. I guess the proof will be in Saturday's weigh in.
Minggu, 05 Desember 2010
More about Weight Watchers PointsPlus
I know this is only Day Two of me following the new PointsPlus Weight Watchers plan, but I'm totally in love with it. It makes so much more sense than the old plan.
Counting calories works for losing weight. Eat less, move more. Of course it works. With the old Weight Watcher plan there were ways to "cheat". I had been doing it for so long that I figured out how to stretch my Points (but this also increased my empty calories). The problem was I would sometimes (probably too often) choose foods that weren't as healthy because they were lower in Points than a more healthy version of that food. Well, Weight Watchers fixed this problem. Foods that are fake are no longer the better choice because of lower Points.
A perfect example are the Oroweat Sandwich Thins* versus Dave's Killer Bread** (check out the ingredients for both at the end of this post). Two slices of paper thin fake bread, the sandwich thins, were one Point on the old plan. Dave's Killer Bread, 21 Whole Grain (and delicious) was two Points. On the new PointsPlus plan they're both 3 Points. Now I'll always choose the one I like the most and is healthier, Dave's Killer bread!
By the way, Dave isn't a "killer" and he is a real person. He served quite a bit of jail time over the years for drug possession and he was a drug dealer for a while, the lowest form of humanity. However, he's totally turned his life around with the family bakery business. I've actually emailed him a couple of times, and he responded. He's a super nice guy and makes "killer" bread (now available at Costco and Winco). Here's a video on his life story, Dave's Story. It's very interesting how he changed his life.
Anyway, back to the PointsPlus plan...the Points earned for activity have increased dramatically. I earned 14 APs yesterday. Seriously, there's no way I could eat all of those and lose weight. My heart rate monitor (which I think lied to me) said I burned 800 calories in two hours at the gym. Maybe, but probably not. That just doesn't sound realistic, the 800 calories or the 14 Points. According *Bitch Cakes* (who wrote a much better post about the new plan than me), we can only cash in a total of 42 activity Points a week, regardless of how many we earn.
So far, I love this plan. I ate well yesterday and exercised hard. I weighed this morning and saw a small loss from yesterday. I even ate three Clementines and a banana at midnight. Zero Points. This is just so cool. I can hardly wait for Saturday's weighin. I'm expecting great things from myself. J
The Big Climb
I'll probably end a lot of posts talking about The Big Climb in the next few months. I hope I can get some fellow bloggers to join me in doing The Big Climb. If you live in the Seattle area (or even if you don't), let me know if you're interested. I think it would a lot of fun to meet and do The Big Climb together. Start training now!
Also, I've set a weight loss goal for myself:
Which would you choose for the same Points?
*Oroweat Sandwich Thin ingredients (not listed on their website!). Seriously, this stuff is disgusting.
Whole wheat flour, unbleached enriched wheat flour [flour, malted barley flour, reduced iron, niacin, thiamin mononitrate (vitamin B1), riboflavin (vitamin B2), folic acid], water, cellulose fiber, wheat gluten, yeast, sugar, cracked wheat rye, polydextrose, salt, ground corn, canola and/or soybean oil, preservatives (calcium propionate, sorbic acid), grain vinegar, guar gum, cultured wheat flour, brown rice, oats, mono-glycerides, soybeans, triticale , barley, flaxseed, millet, citric acid, sodium stearoyl lactylate, sucralose (note...sucralose is Splenda!), soy lecithin.
**Dave's Killer Bread, 21 Whole Grain ingredients (listed on his website). I know what every single one of these ingredients are without Googling them. J
Organic whole wheat flour, organic cracked whole wheat, water, organic evaporated cane juice, grain mix (organic whole ground flaxseeds, organic whole flaxseeds, organic sunflower seeds, organic oats, organic pumpkin seeds, organic millet, organic rye, organic brown rice, organic triticale, organic barley, organic unhulled sesame seeds, organic black sesame seeds, organic amaranth, organic buckwheat, organic spelt, organic blue cornmeal, organic yellow corn, organic kamut, organic poppy seeds, organic quinoa, organic sorghum), organic wheat gluten, organic oat fiber, organic molasses, sea salt, yeast, organic cultured wheat.
Counting calories works for losing weight. Eat less, move more. Of course it works. With the old Weight Watcher plan there were ways to "cheat". I had been doing it for so long that I figured out how to stretch my Points (but this also increased my empty calories). The problem was I would sometimes (probably too often) choose foods that weren't as healthy because they were lower in Points than a more healthy version of that food. Well, Weight Watchers fixed this problem. Foods that are fake are no longer the better choice because of lower Points.
A perfect example are the Oroweat Sandwich Thins* versus Dave's Killer Bread** (check out the ingredients for both at the end of this post). Two slices of paper thin fake bread, the sandwich thins, were one Point on the old plan. Dave's Killer Bread, 21 Whole Grain (and delicious) was two Points. On the new PointsPlus plan they're both 3 Points. Now I'll always choose the one I like the most and is healthier, Dave's Killer bread!
By the way, Dave isn't a "killer" and he is a real person. He served quite a bit of jail time over the years for drug possession and he was a drug dealer for a while, the lowest form of humanity. However, he's totally turned his life around with the family bakery business. I've actually emailed him a couple of times, and he responded. He's a super nice guy and makes "killer" bread (now available at Costco and Winco). Here's a video on his life story, Dave's Story. It's very interesting how he changed his life.
Anyway, back to the PointsPlus plan...the Points earned for activity have increased dramatically. I earned 14 APs yesterday. Seriously, there's no way I could eat all of those and lose weight. My heart rate monitor (which I think lied to me) said I burned 800 calories in two hours at the gym. Maybe, but probably not. That just doesn't sound realistic, the 800 calories or the 14 Points. According *Bitch Cakes* (who wrote a much better post about the new plan than me), we can only cash in a total of 42 activity Points a week, regardless of how many we earn.
So far, I love this plan. I ate well yesterday and exercised hard. I weighed this morning and saw a small loss from yesterday. I even ate three Clementines and a banana at midnight. Zero Points. This is just so cool. I can hardly wait for Saturday's weighin. I'm expecting great things from myself. J
The Big Climb
I'll probably end a lot of posts talking about The Big Climb in the next few months. I hope I can get some fellow bloggers to join me in doing The Big Climb. If you live in the Seattle area (or even if you don't), let me know if you're interested. I think it would a lot of fun to meet and do The Big Climb together. Start training now!
Also, I've set a weight loss goal for myself:
Lose 20 pounds in time for the Big Climb
March 20, 2011
The Big Climb Goal weight: 158 pounds
15 weeks - 1.3 pounds per week
I hope everyone is enjoying the new plan as much as me. Here's to a great day and a great week for all of us!
~~~~~~~~~
Which would you choose for the same Points?
*Oroweat Sandwich Thin ingredients (not listed on their website!). Seriously, this stuff is disgusting.
Whole wheat flour, unbleached enriched wheat flour [flour, malted barley flour, reduced iron, niacin, thiamin mononitrate (vitamin B1), riboflavin (vitamin B2), folic acid], water, cellulose fiber, wheat gluten, yeast, sugar, cracked wheat rye, polydextrose, salt, ground corn, canola and/or soybean oil, preservatives (calcium propionate, sorbic acid), grain vinegar, guar gum, cultured wheat flour, brown rice, oats, mono-glycerides, soybeans, triticale , barley, flaxseed, millet, citric acid, sodium stearoyl lactylate, sucralose (note...sucralose is Splenda!), soy lecithin.
**Dave's Killer Bread, 21 Whole Grain ingredients (listed on his website). I know what every single one of these ingredients are without Googling them. J
Organic whole wheat flour, organic cracked whole wheat, water, organic evaporated cane juice, grain mix (organic whole ground flaxseeds, organic whole flaxseeds, organic sunflower seeds, organic oats, organic pumpkin seeds, organic millet, organic rye, organic brown rice, organic triticale, organic barley, organic unhulled sesame seeds, organic black sesame seeds, organic amaranth, organic buckwheat, organic spelt, organic blue cornmeal, organic yellow corn, organic kamut, organic poppy seeds, organic quinoa, organic sorghum), organic wheat gluten, organic oat fiber, organic molasses, sea salt, yeast, organic cultured wheat.
Sabtu, 04 Desember 2010
Post cherry cobbler weighin, Weight Watcher love, the Big Climb
Post cherry cobbler weighin
I seriously think I have mental issues. How else would you explain my bipolar weight loss attempts?
One day I'm 100% on track, nothing can derail me. I am PERFECT.
Then the next day, I'm once again 100% on track. I'm so proud of myself, I'm superwoman. Nothing will make me go off my diet.
Then that same day the clock strikes 11pm, and I, the person who claims to desperately want to lose weight, decides to whip up a cherry cobbler. Not only did I make a cherry cobbler, I ate the WHOLE THING. I wish I could say it tasted horrible, and it made me sick. I can't. It tasted wonderful, and I didn't get one bit sick. A massive influx of sugar, and I slept like a baby.
I woke up this morning with my first thought, "I have to weigh in today. What in the hell was I thinking last night?!" Mental illness is the only conclusion I can some to. There simply is no other explanation.
I almost blew off Weight watchers today, but I was so excited to find out more about the new program that I couldn't skip it. My girlfriend was going too so I couldn't be a no-show.
The weighin wasn't what I expected. When I stepped on the scales I told the receptionist that I knew I had a gain, and I was okay with it. I waited to hear the bad news, dreading another gain. Instead, I had a loss!
Down 2.2 pounds!
Current weight: 178.6 pounds
You know what I was thinking. If I just hadn't eaten that cobbler, imagine what a really great weight loss I could have had today. I shut that thought right out of my head. My goal is lose two pounds a week through the end of the year. So far, so good.
Weight Watcher Love
I totally and completely love what they've done with the program. I love how they're not even looking at calories anymore. Food is really so much more than calories.
For example, those stupid 100-calories snack packs of cookies are no longer two Points, they're three Points. They're just junk food in small packages. I'll never forget my first 100-calorie pack of cookies. I bought a big box of them. I think there were ten packages. I can't even remember what kind of cookies were in there, but I do remember I ate all ten packages in one sitting (see, I told you, mental illness). I never bought them again.
Now Weight Watchers is looking at the Fat, Protein, Fiber and Carbohydrates in food to calculate Points. This makes total sense to me. 100 calories of Carbs is not the same as 100 calories of Protein. I don't care what you say, but they are NOT created equal. I've known this for a long time, but to have Weight Watchers come out and say it makes me super happy.
Now I get 29 Daily Points on the new plan. The best part, I'll never get less than 29 because 29 Points is the minimum. I was getting 22 (or 21 under 180 pounds). That's not a lot of food. Of course some of the food has more Points now, like those Sandwich Thins that I didn't like anyway but for 1 Point you couldn't beat it. Now they're 3 Points, the same as a slice of my favorite bread.
My most favorite thing, fruits and most vegetables are ZERO Points. Yes, that's right, ZERO! Even bananas are ZERO Points! Now that doesn't mean you can go crazy and eat a case of Clementines or ten Honeycrisp apples or a bunch of bananas, but you can have reasonable portions without dipping into your precious Daily Points quota.
I'm really excited that most vegetables are zero Points. I eat a ton of vegetables, and it really made me mad that a cup and half of Brussels Sprouts were a Point on the old plan. I never liked that it was the same Point value as one of their junk food Weight Watcher 1-Point bars (which are now 2 Points). Now the Brussels Sprouts are zero Points. Even ten cups are zero Points. Butternut squash, zero Points. Again, ten cups of Butternut squash, zero Points.
I know I'd gain weight if I ate ten cups of Brussels Sprouts or ten cups of Butternut squash. What is so exciting about this is I can eat the foods I love, again, reasonable portions. I don't have to weigh and measure my fruits and veggies anymore because they have a big, fat zero Point value. I totally love it.
The Big Climb
I was on the StairMaster today listening to Lady Gaga singing Poker Face for the millionth time. I was thinking this has to be the most boring exercise in the world. Climbing up stairs to no where so I can see nothing and sweating to death in the process (or having a heart attack).
Then I started thinking about the Big Climb and how much I really want to do it. I want to be able to do it without feeling like I'm going to die. I started thinking about the purpose of the Big Climb.
WHY?To find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease, and myeloma and to improve the quality of life for patients and their families. Funds raised through the Big Climb go directly to support research, patient aid, patient services, education, and advocacy.
It made me think about how lucky I am to never have had a major illness. I know these diseases must be horrible. I've seen shows about St. Jude's and their kids. Absolutely the saddest thing in the world. I remember seeing one a few days ago about a little seven year old girl being diagnosed with leukemia when she was a year old. It broke my heart.
Then I remembered a guy at work, Steve. He has MDS and just underwent a stem cell transplant. MDS is Myelodysplastic syndromes. MDS has been known as "smoldering leukemia," or "preleukemia." It's a very serious disease and without treatment MDS always leads to leukemia.
Steve is a truly awesome person. Everyone loves him. Even though I don't work on his team I know him, and the people that work with him love him to pieces. So I had this great idea. I'm going to get a team of people together from my company and we're all going to do the Big Climb.
Plus, if there are any Seattle area bloggers that would like to join us, please email me (ww.lady@gmail.com) and let me know. I think it would be super fun to meet.
Grace has already sort of committed to it. She's thinking about it. Seattle Runner Girl....Pounds Off Playoff (Allan). What do you say? We have until March 20 to train. I'd love to meet you. I'm sure there are others out there too.
This really lit a fire under me today during my workout. I had my best all-time ever workout:
45 minutes on the StairMaster - 190 Flights!
Step rate of 67. Weight Watcher Activity Points of 10! Which I did NOT eat.
1 hour lower body workout, with lunges, squats, leg presses, calf raises, leg extensions, leg curls, bent knee squats and more lunges.
I've never worked out as hard as I did today. According to my heart rate monitor I burned 800 calories. My normal is 350-400.
Steve (the guy that made my heart beat fast today...on the StairMaster):
I seriously think I have mental issues. How else would you explain my bipolar weight loss attempts?
One day I'm 100% on track, nothing can derail me. I am PERFECT.
Then the next day, I'm once again 100% on track. I'm so proud of myself, I'm superwoman. Nothing will make me go off my diet.
Then that same day the clock strikes 11pm, and I, the person who claims to desperately want to lose weight, decides to whip up a cherry cobbler. Not only did I make a cherry cobbler, I ate the WHOLE THING. I wish I could say it tasted horrible, and it made me sick. I can't. It tasted wonderful, and I didn't get one bit sick. A massive influx of sugar, and I slept like a baby.
I woke up this morning with my first thought, "I have to weigh in today. What in the hell was I thinking last night?!" Mental illness is the only conclusion I can some to. There simply is no other explanation.
I almost blew off Weight watchers today, but I was so excited to find out more about the new program that I couldn't skip it. My girlfriend was going too so I couldn't be a no-show.
The weighin wasn't what I expected. When I stepped on the scales I told the receptionist that I knew I had a gain, and I was okay with it. I waited to hear the bad news, dreading another gain. Instead, I had a loss!
Down 2.2 pounds!
Current weight: 178.6 pounds
You know what I was thinking. If I just hadn't eaten that cobbler, imagine what a really great weight loss I could have had today. I shut that thought right out of my head. My goal is lose two pounds a week through the end of the year. So far, so good.
Weight Watcher Love
I totally and completely love what they've done with the program. I love how they're not even looking at calories anymore. Food is really so much more than calories.
For example, those stupid 100-calories snack packs of cookies are no longer two Points, they're three Points. They're just junk food in small packages. I'll never forget my first 100-calorie pack of cookies. I bought a big box of them. I think there were ten packages. I can't even remember what kind of cookies were in there, but I do remember I ate all ten packages in one sitting (see, I told you, mental illness). I never bought them again.
Now Weight Watchers is looking at the Fat, Protein, Fiber and Carbohydrates in food to calculate Points. This makes total sense to me. 100 calories of Carbs is not the same as 100 calories of Protein. I don't care what you say, but they are NOT created equal. I've known this for a long time, but to have Weight Watchers come out and say it makes me super happy.
Now I get 29 Daily Points on the new plan. The best part, I'll never get less than 29 because 29 Points is the minimum. I was getting 22 (or 21 under 180 pounds). That's not a lot of food. Of course some of the food has more Points now, like those Sandwich Thins that I didn't like anyway but for 1 Point you couldn't beat it. Now they're 3 Points, the same as a slice of my favorite bread.
My most favorite thing, fruits and most vegetables are ZERO Points. Yes, that's right, ZERO! Even bananas are ZERO Points! Now that doesn't mean you can go crazy and eat a case of Clementines or ten Honeycrisp apples or a bunch of bananas, but you can have reasonable portions without dipping into your precious Daily Points quota.
I'm really excited that most vegetables are zero Points. I eat a ton of vegetables, and it really made me mad that a cup and half of Brussels Sprouts were a Point on the old plan. I never liked that it was the same Point value as one of their junk food Weight Watcher 1-Point bars (which are now 2 Points). Now the Brussels Sprouts are zero Points. Even ten cups are zero Points. Butternut squash, zero Points. Again, ten cups of Butternut squash, zero Points.
I know I'd gain weight if I ate ten cups of Brussels Sprouts or ten cups of Butternut squash. What is so exciting about this is I can eat the foods I love, again, reasonable portions. I don't have to weigh and measure my fruits and veggies anymore because they have a big, fat zero Point value. I totally love it.
The Big Climb
I was on the StairMaster today listening to Lady Gaga singing Poker Face for the millionth time. I was thinking this has to be the most boring exercise in the world. Climbing up stairs to no where so I can see nothing and sweating to death in the process (or having a heart attack).
Then I started thinking about the Big Climb and how much I really want to do it. I want to be able to do it without feeling like I'm going to die. I started thinking about the purpose of the Big Climb.
WHY?To find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease, and myeloma and to improve the quality of life for patients and their families. Funds raised through the Big Climb go directly to support research, patient aid, patient services, education, and advocacy.
It made me think about how lucky I am to never have had a major illness. I know these diseases must be horrible. I've seen shows about St. Jude's and their kids. Absolutely the saddest thing in the world. I remember seeing one a few days ago about a little seven year old girl being diagnosed with leukemia when she was a year old. It broke my heart.
Then I remembered a guy at work, Steve. He has MDS and just underwent a stem cell transplant. MDS is Myelodysplastic syndromes. MDS has been known as "smoldering leukemia," or "preleukemia." It's a very serious disease and without treatment MDS always leads to leukemia.
Steve is a truly awesome person. Everyone loves him. Even though I don't work on his team I know him, and the people that work with him love him to pieces. So I had this great idea. I'm going to get a team of people together from my company and we're all going to do the Big Climb.
Plus, if there are any Seattle area bloggers that would like to join us, please email me (ww.lady@gmail.com) and let me know. I think it would be super fun to meet.
Grace has already sort of committed to it. She's thinking about it. Seattle Runner Girl....Pounds Off Playoff (Allan). What do you say? We have until March 20 to train. I'd love to meet you. I'm sure there are others out there too.
This really lit a fire under me today during my workout. I had my best all-time ever workout:
45 minutes on the StairMaster - 190 Flights!
Step rate of 67. Weight Watcher Activity Points of 10! Which I did NOT eat.
1 hour lower body workout, with lunges, squats, leg presses, calf raises, leg extensions, leg curls, bent knee squats and more lunges.
I've never worked out as hard as I did today. According to my heart rate monitor I burned 800 calories. My normal is 350-400.
Steve (the guy that made my heart beat fast today...on the StairMaster):
Kamis, 02 Desember 2010
Day 5, I wish it was always this easy
I wish I knew the secret of my success...on days like today.
There are days when I have the super willpower, where I feel like nothing can lead me astray. I love those days. They have been few and far between these past several weeks. For some unknown reason today has been one of my good days. It's after 11 p.m. and by my standards, I've been "perfect" today.
Vitamins ✓
Water ✓
Exercise (1.5 hours strenuous) ✓
Tracked my food online with eTools ✓
Stayed within my Point limit ✓
Could I have done a better job? Of course I could have, there's always room for improvement. Perhaps I shouldn't have had that cup of non-fat Reddi Wip on my yogurt and raspberries tonight. When I looked it up in eTools it said one cup is one Point. By the way, that's really how you spell it..."wip".
It felt decadent to have that fake whip cream squirted into a cup, then piled on top of my low-fat vanilla yogurt and frozen raspberries. It was a little taste of heaven. It made me feel like I could eat like this forever. It was as good or perhaps even better than real ice cream because I didn't feel guilty eating it.
I didn't make it to the gym this morning. Instead I left work at 3 p.m. and stopped at the gym on my way home. Normally, I don't enjoy evening workouts. Usually I'm tired. There's also the fact that the weight section where the largest selection of free weights are located is packed with only guys at night. Women stick with the machines, men usually stick with the free weights. I prefer free weights. I just pretend like I belong there and do my thing. Sometimes I feel sort of out of place, but I that doesn't stop me. I belong there just as much as they do.
For some reason tonight I felt really strong and did heavier weights than usual. I was even able to my tricep bench pushups without feeling like I was going to die.
The StairMaster has become my cardio of choice lately. After about a month vacation from it, I've been back on it all week. It's the only machine that I can't cheat on, and it keeps my heart rate consistently high.
Weight Watchers changed the Activity Points for stair climbing. I'm sure it use to be four Points for 30 minutes at 30 steps/minute (I do 67 steps/minute). Now it says 6 Points for 30 minutes. Sounds a little high to me. It's hard, but it's not that hard.
WHAT?
Participants have the choice of either running up the stairwell as a racer (timed, competitive) or walking as a climber (untimed). Two stairwells are used - both courses are 69 flights and end at the 73rd floor Observatory. Water is available at designated sites in each stairwell. If you feel you can not finish, you can exit at the water stop floors and take the elevator down.
WHO?
Anyone 8 years or older.
WHEN?
Sunday, March 20, 2011.
WHERE?
Columbia Center in downtown Seattle. Address is 701 Fifth Ave.
WHY?
To find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease, and myeloma and to improve the quality of life for patients and their families. Funds raised through the Big Climb go directly to support research, patient aid, patient services, education, and advocacy.
There are days when I have the super willpower, where I feel like nothing can lead me astray. I love those days. They have been few and far between these past several weeks. For some unknown reason today has been one of my good days. It's after 11 p.m. and by my standards, I've been "perfect" today.
Vitamins ✓
Water ✓
Exercise (1.5 hours strenuous) ✓
Tracked my food online with eTools ✓
Stayed within my Point limit ✓
Could I have done a better job? Of course I could have, there's always room for improvement. Perhaps I shouldn't have had that cup of non-fat Reddi Wip on my yogurt and raspberries tonight. When I looked it up in eTools it said one cup is one Point. By the way, that's really how you spell it..."wip".
It felt decadent to have that fake whip cream squirted into a cup, then piled on top of my low-fat vanilla yogurt and frozen raspberries. It was a little taste of heaven. It made me feel like I could eat like this forever. It was as good or perhaps even better than real ice cream because I didn't feel guilty eating it.
I didn't make it to the gym this morning. Instead I left work at 3 p.m. and stopped at the gym on my way home. Normally, I don't enjoy evening workouts. Usually I'm tired. There's also the fact that the weight section where the largest selection of free weights are located is packed with only guys at night. Women stick with the machines, men usually stick with the free weights. I prefer free weights. I just pretend like I belong there and do my thing. Sometimes I feel sort of out of place, but I that doesn't stop me. I belong there just as much as they do.
For some reason tonight I felt really strong and did heavier weights than usual. I was even able to my tricep bench pushups without feeling like I was going to die.
The StairMaster has become my cardio of choice lately. After about a month vacation from it, I've been back on it all week. It's the only machine that I can't cheat on, and it keeps my heart rate consistently high.
Weight Watchers changed the Activity Points for stair climbing. I'm sure it use to be four Points for 30 minutes at 30 steps/minute (I do 67 steps/minute). Now it says 6 Points for 30 minutes. Sounds a little high to me. It's hard, but it's not that hard.
I'm hoping to do the Big Climb in Seattle this March. It's only 69 flights. I usually do 110-140 flights on the StairMaster in 30 minutes. Real stairs are a lot harder than a stair climbing machine. Just like walking on a treadmill versus walking outside. The real thing is always harder. Grace, if you read this, are you interested? It would be really fun to do this with you. :)
I love the new "To do this week" feature on eTools. Each item is a link to something else and gives you more information on the task. I'm going to take a "before" photo before Saturday and add my measurements to eTools. I've never used the measurement feature so I'm kind of excited.
I'm also loving the new eTools. I love seeing all the nutrients of the food. Today one of my coworkers was talking about the Burger King Quad Stacker he had last week. Check this out (65 grams of FAT.... YUK!).
I'm working a half day tomorrow, off at noon. Woohoo! Also working from home, so it's a double woohoo! Oh, and it's Friday. Thank God! It's been the longest week ever.
ABOUT THE BIG CLIMB WHAT?
Participants have the choice of either running up the stairwell as a racer (timed, competitive) or walking as a climber (untimed). Two stairwells are used - both courses are 69 flights and end at the 73rd floor Observatory. Water is available at designated sites in each stairwell. If you feel you can not finish, you can exit at the water stop floors and take the elevator down.
WHO?
Anyone 8 years or older.
WHEN?
Sunday, March 20, 2011.
WHERE?
Columbia Center in downtown Seattle. Address is 701 Fifth Ave.
WHY?
To find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease, and myeloma and to improve the quality of life for patients and their families. Funds raised through the Big Climb go directly to support research, patient aid, patient services, education, and advocacy.
Rabu, 01 Desember 2010
Day 798-804 After Thanksgiving Post, Day 78 Revisited, and A New Jacket
Day 798-804
After Thanksgiving Post, Day 78 Revisited, and A New Jacket
Preparing Thanksgiving dinner and enjoying the family and friends of the holiday was so special to me, especially since hitting goal. It's a nice feeling to be in control, to enjoy food instead of abuse food, to be normal and healthy...to be happy and content. To be me.
There wasn't any desire to stuff myself sick, in fact, my plan of allowing 2500 calories turned out to be a good one, but kind of a challenge. I know that must sound crazy, especially on Thanksgiving, but I'm so prolific at getting the most bang for my calorie buck--sometimes, I should relax a little and eat a little more maybe, but why? If I'm eating decent amounts and I'm satisfied, then I see little reason to push it to 2500, just because it's Thanksgiving. I wasn't deprived in the least! Having this kind of relationship with food is nothing short of a dream come true for me. I owe it all to my "nothing is off limits" philosophy and my "Calorie Bank and Trust." Had I restricted certain foods or only consumed certain foods in my efforts--then I wouldn't have recovered from my food addict ways, because I would have been avoiding the issue--focusing on a means to lose weight, and not the behaviors with all food that always kept me morbidly obese. I will always consider myself a food addict, but I'm aware and mindful of from where I came--and now, food and me...well, we're friends. Life and food, is good...absolutely!
I haven't really touched my calorie budget just yet. I'll get there. I'll cruise under 230 a little and really start to decide where I want to take this body of mine. The new YMCA facility opens Monday and I'm thrilled about getting in there and using everything! Oh my---it's beautiful! I received a nice tour from the senior program director, and I must say, I'm impressed beyond description. The "cycling studio" has an amazing sound system and stadium style levels for optimal viewing. The pools are incredible too---and the fitness area with treadmills and everything else you could ever want---it's unbelievable! I'll be broadcasting from the new facility Saturday morning from 8 to 10am--can't wait!!
I never get tired of getting wonderful messages from people who are having incredible success of their own. Jamie Fisher gives me regular updates on my facebook wall--and I look forward to each one. Here's the latest:
"Sean, was reading a couple of your blogs from the beginning. Its funny, It hit home with me in so many ways. I eat at least 1 meal a week from Wendy's, Grilled chicken sand(no honey mustard) and large chili, very satisfying for 610 calories. I don't want to jinx it, but I am pretty confident when I weigh in on Friday(e...nd of week 19 133 days) that I will eclipse the -100 lb mark, wow what a mile stone in sight. PS wearing even smaller chefs coats yet again, and i officially don't own any clothes that fit me."
I LOVE that! Jamie--can you believe it??? I'm so happy for you!!!
Leah writes:
"Well Sean....today I finally caught up to the present of your blog. I've been reading it since July after reading your story on AOL about losing weight without eating one salad. As I mentioned recently I've lost 31 lbs while getting my daily inspiration from you. Now that I've finished your blog and understand your not writing daily I will go back to the beginning and read one a day as well as your new posts as you post them as I want to continue to be inspired by you daily. I know you get told this often by probably thousands of people now but I just have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the life change you have helped me through. I only wish I had come to this understanding 25 years ago! I'll definitely be looking for your book. Thank you again!"
Pat writes:
"Hi Sean, have a great day. I have to brag a little. My husband and I went to Missouri for the Thanksgiving holidays for five days and he lost 2 pounds and I lost 1. We ate what we wanted but kept our calorie count in check. You have helped us so much with your attitude of this is not a diet, we can eat anything we want, we have to stay in our calorie range. You do not feel like you are missing out on anything. My husband has lost 15 pounds and I have lost 20 so far."
Jamie, Leah, Pat--I can't thank you enough. When I receive messages like these, it just fills me up with joy, it's a constant blessing everyday. It truly makes me overwhelmed with happiness!!
Today, I traveled back in time to December 1st, 2008--Exactly two years ago, and found a very tough installment of this blog:
From Day 78 December 1st, 2008--
Not Perfect and That's OK
This has been a crazy day. Some days are so easy and then for no apparent reason I have a day like today. I've battled my will all day long. Then we took a nap at 3:30 with plans to get into the YMCA by 4:30 so I could get assistance with the machines and we ended up over-sleeping. After dinner I started getting sick to my stomach and a headache. So there ya go, a really challenging day, out of the blue without any obvious reason. I've had every last single calorie I can have today already and it's been a real struggle to not go over. I'm really going to have a long talk with myself before I go to sleep tonight. This is day 78, we've come too far to start having self-destructive urges. I wish I understood why? Usually there's some kind of stress trigger or emotion that I can pinpoint, but not today. I've been through these trying days before (see Day 60) and I've survived by focusing on getting to the next day intact. I just need to survive a couple more hours and I'll be in bed ready to put this day behind me. I am pretty upset about not working out, and now that I'm feeling sick and Courtney's not feeling well, we'll probably miss our workout tonight. That's not the worst thing in the world. We've missed some in the past, but it's certainly not an everyday thing. Considering the circumstances, I'm not going to feel too bad about not getting out there tonight. As long as I can get to bed without going over my calories, I'll count this day as a victory. I've learned that no matter how determined and strong willed I am on this mission, I mustn't try to be so darn perfect all the time. I'm way far from being perfect. I'm doing the best I can do and on 97% of the days that means I stay within my 1500 calories and I exercise. It's days like these, the days that test me, these are the days I'll remember most when I reach my goal. The near misses, near breakdowns, the unexplained absence of will power in critical situations, and overcoming them all, these are the victories that mean the most. I can and will do this all the way.
Sometimes the person that needs to read my past blog post the most is me. Before I ever experienced a tough day I wrote about how easy this was. In the right mindset it can really be a breeze, but like I've said before, this is a learning process. I've never claimed to know everything, all I have is my vast experience in being severely overweight my entire adult life and trying many times to lose weight. This is like weight loss school and every now and then there's a pop quiz that totally boggles me. I've studied my past behavior patterns, I've re-played failed attempts in my head, I've studied every label and calorie count I come across, and I'm still learning something new all the time. All I have to do is keep doing what I've been doing, stay strong and focused, and every thing will be alright, alright!
I'll tell you one thing, it's days like today when this blog really keeps me from a self-destructive binge. The accountability that this blog demands is very important to my mission. I've said it before, it's like therapy for me. I can't imagine not writing every night. A lot of times these blogs flow easy, some times it's harder, as I search for words to describe what I'm feeling and experiencing. The support that I receive everyday from my wife and kids, readers like you, and people that I run into that notice the difference in my appearance is incredible. That support is the most important resource I have along the way. The blog is like a back up re-enforcement. I sincerely appreciate you reading everyday. Thank you very much. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will learn how to do the machines properly at the Y, tomorrow I will erase any doubts that this day presented, tomorrow is day 79, and I'm ready.
Friday morning found me and my friend Karen at JC Penney for their big doorbuster sale. I needed a coat, a jacket--a leather jacket was the plan. And I found a great jacket at a wonderful price. To just stroll into a store and grab a jacket off the rack and have it fit---and to realize it wasn't the biggest they had in stock---in fact, it wasn't even in the "big and tall" section---that is a wonderful NSV. These are incredible days!
I just received word that I'll be featured again, real soon--on AOL's thatsfit.com, as a "best of" success story of 2010. I'm thrilled! The doors that have opened because of that initial AOL feature, has been amazing. I swear--someday, I need to give a special gift back to Martha Edwards, the writer, and AOL. I sincerely appreciate their incredible support!
My focus for December must be squarely on finishing the manuscript for my first book. By Christmas, without fail. It's my Christmas gift to me!
Thank you for reading. I feel like there's so much more to talk about--but not enough time right now. This weekly posting is very tough for me to accept, but right now, it's necessary. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My Thanksgiving plate. It was simple, plenty, delicious, filling, and wonderful!
I was so excited to try the dessert Karen made--I had consumed a few bites before I remembered to snap a picture!! That small slice of pumpkin pie there, that was all the pie I consumed on Thanksgiving...Very nice!
Courtney and me--Thanksgiving 2010
My daughters--I love them sooooo much!
With grandma on Thanksgiving--She's the sweetest, most precious grandmother in the world!
Mom and me--Enjoying Thanksgiving in her kitchen!
With my Aunt Kelli on Thanksgiving
Eating the turkey...I mean, uh---carving the turkey--yeah, that's what I was doing!!
My daughters, Karen, and me. Karen's help on Thanksgiving was wonderful!! She made the most amazing dessert--a chocolate truffle type dish that totally rocked--and several other dishes. If you've read every single day of my blog, you know that I've learned tough lessons along the way about keeping my personal life private. Karen and I are certainly dating, but that's all I'll say about that! She's been an amazing friend! ;)
The new Jacket
The serious jacket pose---ha! ;)
Big before picture--Over 500 pounds...and looking miserable, oh my...
After Thanksgiving Post, Day 78 Revisited, and A New Jacket
Preparing Thanksgiving dinner and enjoying the family and friends of the holiday was so special to me, especially since hitting goal. It's a nice feeling to be in control, to enjoy food instead of abuse food, to be normal and healthy...to be happy and content. To be me.
There wasn't any desire to stuff myself sick, in fact, my plan of allowing 2500 calories turned out to be a good one, but kind of a challenge. I know that must sound crazy, especially on Thanksgiving, but I'm so prolific at getting the most bang for my calorie buck--sometimes, I should relax a little and eat a little more maybe, but why? If I'm eating decent amounts and I'm satisfied, then I see little reason to push it to 2500, just because it's Thanksgiving. I wasn't deprived in the least! Having this kind of relationship with food is nothing short of a dream come true for me. I owe it all to my "nothing is off limits" philosophy and my "Calorie Bank and Trust." Had I restricted certain foods or only consumed certain foods in my efforts--then I wouldn't have recovered from my food addict ways, because I would have been avoiding the issue--focusing on a means to lose weight, and not the behaviors with all food that always kept me morbidly obese. I will always consider myself a food addict, but I'm aware and mindful of from where I came--and now, food and me...well, we're friends. Life and food, is good...absolutely!
I haven't really touched my calorie budget just yet. I'll get there. I'll cruise under 230 a little and really start to decide where I want to take this body of mine. The new YMCA facility opens Monday and I'm thrilled about getting in there and using everything! Oh my---it's beautiful! I received a nice tour from the senior program director, and I must say, I'm impressed beyond description. The "cycling studio" has an amazing sound system and stadium style levels for optimal viewing. The pools are incredible too---and the fitness area with treadmills and everything else you could ever want---it's unbelievable! I'll be broadcasting from the new facility Saturday morning from 8 to 10am--can't wait!!
I never get tired of getting wonderful messages from people who are having incredible success of their own. Jamie Fisher gives me regular updates on my facebook wall--and I look forward to each one. Here's the latest:
"Sean, was reading a couple of your blogs from the beginning. Its funny, It hit home with me in so many ways. I eat at least 1 meal a week from Wendy's, Grilled chicken sand(no honey mustard) and large chili, very satisfying for 610 calories. I don't want to jinx it, but I am pretty confident when I weigh in on Friday(e...nd of week 19 133 days) that I will eclipse the -100 lb mark, wow what a mile stone in sight. PS wearing even smaller chefs coats yet again, and i officially don't own any clothes that fit me."
I LOVE that! Jamie--can you believe it??? I'm so happy for you!!!
Leah writes:
"Well Sean....today I finally caught up to the present of your blog. I've been reading it since July after reading your story on AOL about losing weight without eating one salad. As I mentioned recently I've lost 31 lbs while getting my daily inspiration from you. Now that I've finished your blog and understand your not writing daily I will go back to the beginning and read one a day as well as your new posts as you post them as I want to continue to be inspired by you daily. I know you get told this often by probably thousands of people now but I just have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the life change you have helped me through. I only wish I had come to this understanding 25 years ago! I'll definitely be looking for your book. Thank you again!"
Pat writes:
"Hi Sean, have a great day. I have to brag a little. My husband and I went to Missouri for the Thanksgiving holidays for five days and he lost 2 pounds and I lost 1. We ate what we wanted but kept our calorie count in check. You have helped us so much with your attitude of this is not a diet, we can eat anything we want, we have to stay in our calorie range. You do not feel like you are missing out on anything. My husband has lost 15 pounds and I have lost 20 so far."
Jamie, Leah, Pat--I can't thank you enough. When I receive messages like these, it just fills me up with joy, it's a constant blessing everyday. It truly makes me overwhelmed with happiness!!
Today, I traveled back in time to December 1st, 2008--Exactly two years ago, and found a very tough installment of this blog:
From Day 78 December 1st, 2008--
Not Perfect and That's OK
This has been a crazy day. Some days are so easy and then for no apparent reason I have a day like today. I've battled my will all day long. Then we took a nap at 3:30 with plans to get into the YMCA by 4:30 so I could get assistance with the machines and we ended up over-sleeping. After dinner I started getting sick to my stomach and a headache. So there ya go, a really challenging day, out of the blue without any obvious reason. I've had every last single calorie I can have today already and it's been a real struggle to not go over. I'm really going to have a long talk with myself before I go to sleep tonight. This is day 78, we've come too far to start having self-destructive urges. I wish I understood why? Usually there's some kind of stress trigger or emotion that I can pinpoint, but not today. I've been through these trying days before (see Day 60) and I've survived by focusing on getting to the next day intact. I just need to survive a couple more hours and I'll be in bed ready to put this day behind me. I am pretty upset about not working out, and now that I'm feeling sick and Courtney's not feeling well, we'll probably miss our workout tonight. That's not the worst thing in the world. We've missed some in the past, but it's certainly not an everyday thing. Considering the circumstances, I'm not going to feel too bad about not getting out there tonight. As long as I can get to bed without going over my calories, I'll count this day as a victory. I've learned that no matter how determined and strong willed I am on this mission, I mustn't try to be so darn perfect all the time. I'm way far from being perfect. I'm doing the best I can do and on 97% of the days that means I stay within my 1500 calories and I exercise. It's days like these, the days that test me, these are the days I'll remember most when I reach my goal. The near misses, near breakdowns, the unexplained absence of will power in critical situations, and overcoming them all, these are the victories that mean the most. I can and will do this all the way.
Sometimes the person that needs to read my past blog post the most is me. Before I ever experienced a tough day I wrote about how easy this was. In the right mindset it can really be a breeze, but like I've said before, this is a learning process. I've never claimed to know everything, all I have is my vast experience in being severely overweight my entire adult life and trying many times to lose weight. This is like weight loss school and every now and then there's a pop quiz that totally boggles me. I've studied my past behavior patterns, I've re-played failed attempts in my head, I've studied every label and calorie count I come across, and I'm still learning something new all the time. All I have to do is keep doing what I've been doing, stay strong and focused, and every thing will be alright, alright!
I'll tell you one thing, it's days like today when this blog really keeps me from a self-destructive binge. The accountability that this blog demands is very important to my mission. I've said it before, it's like therapy for me. I can't imagine not writing every night. A lot of times these blogs flow easy, some times it's harder, as I search for words to describe what I'm feeling and experiencing. The support that I receive everyday from my wife and kids, readers like you, and people that I run into that notice the difference in my appearance is incredible. That support is the most important resource I have along the way. The blog is like a back up re-enforcement. I sincerely appreciate you reading everyday. Thank you very much. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will learn how to do the machines properly at the Y, tomorrow I will erase any doubts that this day presented, tomorrow is day 79, and I'm ready.
Friday morning found me and my friend Karen at JC Penney for their big doorbuster sale. I needed a coat, a jacket--a leather jacket was the plan. And I found a great jacket at a wonderful price. To just stroll into a store and grab a jacket off the rack and have it fit---and to realize it wasn't the biggest they had in stock---in fact, it wasn't even in the "big and tall" section---that is a wonderful NSV. These are incredible days!
I just received word that I'll be featured again, real soon--on AOL's thatsfit.com, as a "best of" success story of 2010. I'm thrilled! The doors that have opened because of that initial AOL feature, has been amazing. I swear--someday, I need to give a special gift back to Martha Edwards, the writer, and AOL. I sincerely appreciate their incredible support!
My focus for December must be squarely on finishing the manuscript for my first book. By Christmas, without fail. It's my Christmas gift to me!
Thank you for reading. I feel like there's so much more to talk about--but not enough time right now. This weekly posting is very tough for me to accept, but right now, it's necessary. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My Thanksgiving plate. It was simple, plenty, delicious, filling, and wonderful!
I was so excited to try the dessert Karen made--I had consumed a few bites before I remembered to snap a picture!! That small slice of pumpkin pie there, that was all the pie I consumed on Thanksgiving...Very nice!
Courtney and me--Thanksgiving 2010
My daughters--I love them sooooo much!
With grandma on Thanksgiving--She's the sweetest, most precious grandmother in the world!
Mom and me--Enjoying Thanksgiving in her kitchen!
With my Aunt Kelli on Thanksgiving
Eating the turkey...I mean, uh---carving the turkey--yeah, that's what I was doing!!
My daughters, Karen, and me. Karen's help on Thanksgiving was wonderful!! She made the most amazing dessert--a chocolate truffle type dish that totally rocked--and several other dishes. If you've read every single day of my blog, you know that I've learned tough lessons along the way about keeping my personal life private. Karen and I are certainly dating, but that's all I'll say about that! She's been an amazing friend! ;)
The new Jacket
The serious jacket pose---ha! ;)
Big before picture--Over 500 pounds...and looking miserable, oh my...
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