Day 464 Slow Down: Natural? And Is Psychology Partially To Blame?

Day 464

Slow Down: Natural? And Is Psychology Partially To Blame?

My feet hit the floor at 3:30am, now I know what I said. I said I didn't want to ever get up earlier than 4am, but I still managed to get five hours of sleep. I hit the fitness center first thing and then after a great warm-up, retreated to the apartment to write yesterday's post. The entire topic of loose skin was one of those blogs that was going to take a little longer to write, so I finished half and headed for the showers and the studio. My Tuesday morning breakfast consisted of an egg white omelet—no cheese, just mushrooms and pepper, and a banana. It was awesome really. I'm trying to not be so predictable. Not to you, but to me. Maybe one of these mornings I'll combine an egg white omelet and some oatmeal---ewww---no, not together, but as two breakfast selections. I could do this and still have a breakfast count of around 250 calories.

I started getting down on myself today and I immediately squashed it like a bug. I've written before about how after a bunch of success it's easy to become lax in our efforts. If we're not careful, what was considered unacceptable early on this journey becomes...Oh, that's fine---look at how far I've come! But that's a dangerous place! I've been at that place where it's real easy to find an excuse to not workout, and that's completely contrary to what this journey and blog is all about. If you've read the early days of this blog and compare it to the last 200 days---you'll see the difference. I'm not disputing the fact that as we progress our weight loss naturally slows, I'm just wondering how much of that slow down is because of this psychological dynamic.

It's not as urgent as it once was. I don't worry about dropping dead everyday like I did at over 500 pounds. I look in the mirror and for the first time in my life I'm actually liking what I see. Success, happiness, healthy feelings...it's all enough to make me take it easy a little. And this was the source of my self-centered contempt today. And then all of a sudden I stopped and started counting my blessings and accomplishments along this road. I reminded myself that I've never become lax in the calorie department, and that made me feel much better. My main problem all of these years was an out of control addiction to food. I'm conquering that without any decline in enthusiasm or drive. So there, self! Where I'm headed physically is certain. How quickly I get there will be determined by my commitment level in the fitness room, on the racquetball court, and most importantly---in the weight room. Oh I just had to mention the weight room. Isn't that the biggest glaring flaw of this entire journey of mine? Lack of commitment in the weight room?

But the great thing is this: I can correct the course. I can commit. I can do anything I decide I can. If I want to develop these “guns” and this behind of mine---I can, and will---It's a choice.
I could go into a long drawn out study of why I've been so lacking in the weight room, covering everything from simple intimidation to my birth defected right arm, but it all amounts to excuses. Anything...that's what I can do. Did you see the Iron Man Triathlete without any legs? The guy competes in triathlons with two artificial legs all the way to his hips. You talk about an inspiration. This guy understands all about choices huh? He knows that the only thing that can and does stop us is us.

I left the studio today shortly after 4pm and headed for a round of errands before arriving at the apartment close to 5pm. I was tired and needed a nap. I took an hour nap and got up just in time to head back to the studio for a special holiday broadcast from 6:30 to 8:30pm. I arrived at the studio and realized that I was really hungry. What about dinner? My broadcast partner for this broadcast, Gayle Williams, had some kind of incredible gourmet shrimp casserole thingy and boy did it smell good! She let me try it and wow, it was amazing! I then dug around and found a Marie Calenders beef and noodles type dinner. I popped that 320 calorie meal in the microwave and prepped for the broadcast. It wasn't bad at all really. Maybe a little high in sodium, but honestly---I didn't check. I just knew I needed some calories and I didn't really care how I had them at this point. I also enjoyed about a half an ounce of cheese with my beef noodle dish.

I made sure to drop in bed by 10:15, but I wasn't asleep until after 11pm. Tomorrow (Wednesday) is weigh day again! Yes, we're ready! Come on scale, show me something good! I'll let you know how that goes. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean