Day 383 Don't Misinterpret My Focus and Intensity

Day 383

Don't Misinterpret My Focus and Intensity

Sometimes when the stress level gets high and the schedule gets crazy, I get really focused, completely intense. You know what I'm talking about? When you look at your day and realize that there is more to do than you possibly have time for, and you must make every single minute count. Then, when you combine different sources of stress and throw it on top of that schedule, it can be seriously dangerous. When I'm having a day like today, I think that some people that I love interpret my attitude and intensity as a lack of caring or absence of love. And that's too bad. Because I couldn't care or love the ones around me more than I do now. I honestly believe that my changed appearance helps create this illusion of uncaring. It's like he's a completely different person, if I had a quarter... But honestly, I know where my heart is, and to me, that's all that matters. I must find ways to show it more despite circumstances.

I've never had a schedule like this, ever in my life. And honestly---I think I'm handling it well considering every circumstance we've had to face lately. And it's a temporary situation. Temporary. And honestly, I know there are people with busier schedules than me. People who have much bigger commitments and responsibilities than I ever could imagine. So let's realize that this brief set of circumstances that have me focused and intense will pass soon. Let's understand something, it's not just about the time commitments to this play I'm doing, it's everything together.

It's refreshing to still remain focused on eating responsibly and within my calorie budget even through everything. This commitment to my weight loss efforts does not change with my emotions and stress level. After derailing me every other time before, I've finally learned how to handle myself. Sometimes it might mean “investing” 380 calories in a filet-o-fish sandwich, or spending 200 calories on a handful of Doritos and a few chocolate malt balls at play practice...but it's all within that budget. My steel curtain is up and strong. And anything and everything that tries to weaken my weight loss resolve, just bounces off. That's a nice place to be considering where I've been for so long.

By the way, I need to correct some information from Last night's edition. JoEllen has 3 boys under seven years of age and an 18 year old daughter. I said 4 boys under seven. That was wrong and honestly, I have no idea how I made that mistake. My mom called me last night to ask, who's the fourth boy? I couldn't believe the error, but it's alright. Thank you mom for bringing that to my attention.

JoEllen is resting comfortably here at our home. Mary, Jo's 18 year old daughter, is staying the night as well. Mary lives in the freshman dorms at Northern Oklahoma College. JoEllen's three sons are currently staying with their dad in Arizona. JoEllen's spirit is wonderful, she's got a good attitude, and it's a nice thing to watch. I know she'll improve, I know she will. We're all praying for miracles to come Jo's way.

I'm looking forward to a much slower paced Saturday. I do have a remote broadcast to perform at Oktober Fest, but it's only two hours. After 1pm, I'm pretty clear! It'll be time to relax and enjoy my family! No rehearsal tonight! I'm trying to think of something nice to do, any ideas?

When I arrived home from rehearsal last night, I didn't walk into the living room for at least five minutes. When I did, I had an unexpected surprise waiting for me! Amber and her boyfriend KL are here!! They didn't tell anyone they were coming, they just showed up! I'm very happy about that. It's going to be a good weekend. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean