Day 322 My Kryptonite Is Powerless and Losing a Reader

Day 322

My Kryptonite Is Powerless and Losing a Reader

The girls had some friends over last night for a sleepover. Late last night their friends decided to run to the store to buy some goodies. My defenses were immediately heightened. Upon their return I noticed something in their bags that concerned me. I knew it wasn't Amber or Courtney's decision to purchase this item, but still I was uncomfortable with it being in our house. It was kryptonite. My kryptonite. A big half gallon of ice cream. We haven't had a half gallon of ice cream in this household during this entire journey, why start now? “Because our friends wanted it and they made the purchase.” I was completely cool about it really. I call it my kryptonite, but really, I'm not sure that I can be swayed by any food at this point. I say this because, if ice cream doesn't do it, then I can't imagine anything else moving me a stray. I looked at it long enough to remember the old times and then I turned around and shut the freezer door behind me and retired to the bedroom. If I had the calories left I may have had a serving, I didn't. The empty carton was in the trash by the time I got up this morning. Amber and Courtney may have had a small serving, but the bulk of it was devoured by one of their friends who is always telling Courtney “I need to lose weight like you, but I don't know how.” I wonder if they noticed Courtney and Amber's example?

I haven't had much time for the computer today, but I did read some wonderful comments, and it was during this that I noticed something that bugged me. I lost a follower. Of course my personality requires me to stress about this and try to figure out who and why they clicked “no longer follow.” I've always been described as “likable,” and I think I sometimes have an unhealthy obsession with trying to please everyone all the time for the sake of being likable. We all want to be loved and liked, ya know? After trying to figure out who was missing from the list, I finally realized I didn't have time to continue this crazy search. Was last night's blog too much? I re-read the thing five times. I'm not apologizing for anything I've ever written, this is my story, my journey, my feelings, my experiences. I'll never alter my thoughts to please anyone but me. But still I wondered, was it something I said? Was it the “I may be fat but you're ugly” thing from my childhood? Maybe it was a childhood bully that I directed that to, and the blog from last night reminded them of that horrible memory. I don't know. I have no idea. Maybe they thought...geez, this guy is full of himself...or maybe they were turned off by the nightclub talk. Maybe they were dropping me from their blogroll because I haven't had a chance yet to discover theirs and leave a comment, and this one sided relationship just wasn't working for them anymore. I don't know, and I refuse to worry about it any longer. I just noticed someone else signed up to replace whoever dropped. But to the person that clicked “no longer follow”: Maybe you had a completely good reason to drop me. But whatever the reason, understand that this is my journey from 505 to 230 or whatever feels right. Along the way, I'm sharing my experiences, emotions, triumphs, and struggles. If you read closely, you will find a very simple road map to losing weight and feeling great too. I can't imagine that you were a regular reader, because if you really understood me and knew what this blog is about, why would you delete me? See---I told you that I think highly of this blog and my journey.--- It hasn't been perfect, but it has been—and will continue to be successful in every way. I wish you the best. They're not going to read this are they?

We had a very nice dinner (grilled chicken breast—rice--green beans—California blend of veggies—and a nice little potato dish that we all sampled) followed by a really long family meeting tonight. I'm so impressed with the maturity levels of our daughters. We're very lucky parents, these kids are extremely level headed and very smart. As serious as some of our issues are these days, we still find a way to laugh together. Laughter is a major component of this family's happiness and success. No matter where we are financially, emotionally, maritally---we still have the ability to laugh at the end of a long serious discussion. I love that about us.

It's time for some exercise! The plan is to head out to the trail, all four of us, and conquer a real 10K. But honestly, I think we're getting short on time tonight for a 10K. As much as I wanted to do one today, it looks like we'll have to pick another day this week. We'll still go and get a great workout tonight, but sometimes we have to be willing to adjust our plans and realize that it certainly doesn't change where we're headed. The realization that the trail isn't quite as long as we thought all this time is still tough for me to think about. But I'm cooling off over it all. The whole idea of a 10K tonight was to “show that trail” that it doesn't have anything on us!! But hey, there's plenty of time for that. We'll go walk and I'll finish up this blog post when we return...

OK, we're back! We didn't do a 10K, we didn't even do a 5K, but we came close to a 5K...probably could have stretched it out and hit it, but Amber and Courtney were developing rubs and Irene needed a 'facility.' And I was simply overjoyed to have all four of us out there walking hard, sweating, and moving toward wonderful results. We'll get a 10K in sometime this week. It's not a big deal.

I love the feeling of going to bed confident in what we're doing and have done. I know that weigh day is coming up on Wednesday and I'm really looking forward to hitting the 200 pounds lost milestone. If I can find a computer code that would shoot confetti out of your computer, that would be cool. It'll certainly be a fun blog to write, followed by another when I get below 300 here soon. I so love life now, despite everything and anything else, I love this journey. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean