Day 361 Clothing Insecurities and The Lost "Before" Pictures (posting soon)

Day 361

Clothing Insecurities and The Lost “Before” Pictures (posting soon)

I'm feeling pretty dog-gone fantastic right now. I just woke from one of my signature power naps. Yes, I allowed my schedule to go awry again, but I had good reason. Play rehearsal was called off tonight and I've requested and have been granted a vacation day from radio tomorrow! My mission? Get over this sickness that has snuggled up into my lungs and memorize every single line for the play. I may even go to the doctor, check that---I will go to the doctor tomorrow for a high powered something to kick this crud out of me! I don't have time to be sick, you know what I mean? I wonder if I can change the vacation day to a sick day...hmmm, maybe. Just maybe.

I just received an e-mail from the stage manager of “Call Me Henry.” She requested clothing sizes. Oh man, let the anxiety begin! It felt good to reply: 40 waist 32 inseam. I also reminded her that I'll more than likely be a 38/32 by the time this production opens, but I can wear a belt. The shirt size, I don't know really...3x, 2x...or 18, maybe 19? I don't know. I've been dealing with X's my entire life. I didn't even know about shirt sizes in number terms until recently. I've always been a 5X or 6X, even a 7X in some cases. I honestly need custom tailored shirts. Because my neck size will result in a shirt that doesn't fit my body right. I need to take a deep breath and trust that it will all be fine. I do hope they allow me to be a little picky about wardrobe without them getting too frustrated with me. It's the thing that worries me the most about this play. It's not the lines or the emotion I must convey, or the long hours in rehearsal, it's what I'm wearing that is giving me the stress. I want to look good up there, and regardless of my weight loss success, I'm still extremely insecure about what I wear and how I wear it. It'll take time and weight training to budge that mental hangup. In the meantime I know that I'll have to actually “tuck” for some of these scenes, heck...it's even in the script at one point. Me tucking? In front of an audience?? I've never been a tucker, you know that! Oh my, I'm going to have to close my eyes and shut off my brain to get through this. I know this will probably be one of those things where I discover it wasn't near as horrific as I imagined it would be. We'll see how it goes. I certainly don't want to be difficult, but I also want to be comfortable on stage.

Irene came home early tonight and she is finally off for the weekend! You think my schedule is crazy, listen to this: She went in at 5:30pm yesterday afternoon, wasn't able to leave work until 9:15am this morning, then was expected to be back at work for a managers meeting at noon, then back at work for a short shift at 5:30pm. She was allowed to skip the noon meeting, so she did get nearly six hours of sleep, thank goodness, but she is still exhausted. And I'm keeping her up tonight to work with me on lines! Oh dear! I look forward to her writing something on her blog, I know she will tomorrow. Maybe Amber will too, that would be good. Nudge, nudge, ;)

I want to recognize Zaababy, “The Incredible Shrinking Woman” again. If you haven't read her blog, you should give it a read. I'm so impressed with her and the wonderful approach she embraces. She completely “gets it.” It's easy to say “I get it.” Zaa proves she does everyday. She understands that a simple approach with a consistent effort gets major results every time. The mental breakthroughs and transformation she has experienced has been beautifully documented within her pages. She is approaching some major milestones, so if you haven't already, this would be a wonderful time to start following her. Her inspiration and consistent effort is a wonderful thing to witness. Find Zaababy today at www.zaaisshrinking.blogspot.com

Just when I thought I knew of every single “before” picture out there, I discovered some more today on my Aunt Kelli's facebook page. The Lost "Before" Pictures will be ready soon! I'll copy and post them over the weekend along with some current pictures.

I've requested Irene's company tomorrow evening for a date. I'm taking my beautiful wife to the Ponca Playhouse for opening night of “Tuesdays With Morrie.” Afterward we plan on attending a party to celebrate the opening. It'll be a grand affair I'm sure! It'll also be an opportunity for me to introduce Irene to Lauren, who plays the part of "Doris," my wife in the play “Call Me Henry.” It'll be fun!

Irene is preparing a late dinner, she might just pick something up, I've already had dinner. I enjoyed two pita cheese pizzas. 280 calories TOTAL. Wow, I think a soft serve low fat vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald's is in order! I still have nearly 300 calories remaining tonight, more than enough to “indulge.”

Before we start working on lines, we're going to workout---then it's into the script we go!
I was able to “get out” and read a few blogs today. I should have some more time as this three day weekend progresses. I have some serious catching up to do. I sincerely appreciate your patience and your continued support. Day 361 is in the books. Did I mention that despite this sickness crud, I still feel incredible? This transformation of mind and body is beyond wonderful. Very nice. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean