Day 572
You Spin Me Right Round and Amber's Home
When I got up this morning, the nerves started churning. I thought about it as soon as my eyes opened. I thought about it as I did my squats. I thought about it and worried some more as I prepared the coffee and cooked my mammoth five egg white mushroom and cheese omelet (140 calories btw!). Today was the day. It was out there, the accountability factor had backed me up against a wall and demanded my participation. There was no stopping it now, oh no. Had I just not said anything of my intention, it would be so easy to “chicken out,” and honestly...knowing me, sadly—I probably would have. I'm just being honest.
Today was the day I would climb onto a stationary cycle and be completely at the mercy of an instructor. I knew there would be a class full of others, and that means I couldn't quit. I can't get off the bike and walk out, I gotta do this! I tried to put it out of my mind during my radio show, and I did mostly, I had a decent Friday morning show. But as soon as it ended, my nerves started up again. What was I afraid of? Looking out of place? Isn't it revealing that the first thing I mention isn't not being able to keep up or falling off the bike or dying in that spinning class. No, Seanboy is worried about what he'll look like to others as he climbs onto that little bicycle seat. Hmmm...You know this is leftover psychological stuff from weighing over 500 pounds for so long.
I arrived at the YMCA a half hour early to get my bike number. I requested a bike in the back, but was told they don't allow you to cherry pick a bike, they just reach in a bag and draw a number---good luck! My bike was number 10 and of course I immediately cruised down to the classroom and found number 10---not in the back, but not in the front. Oh well, I needed to get over it I guess. I spent the next twenty minutes in the program directors office. Stephanie Williams knows me well, she regularly reads this blog, as does her husband. She knew I was coming today and she could tell I was terrified. Stephanie was so supportive, giving me several “you'll be fine”'s and deep down I knew it would be. She offered me a bottle of water as we talked, it was nice.
As the time drew near, I decided to get in there and get acquainted. One of the other classmates took a look at me and responded “You've lost a bunch of weight!” Who is this? She obviously knew of the old Sean judging from her wide eyed reaction. That was cool. I met Frank McEntire, the instructor. He's an older, retired man---and he's in absolutely amazing shape! Frank assisted me with adjusting the seat and handle bars and told me to just do what I could, and no matter what---even if I couldn't do what they were doing---just keep peddling. He could tell I was scared.
The bike has 24 gears and a digital display. Frank explained very well how to control everything. Within minutes everyone was warming up with an easy peddle. The seat wasn't too bad at first sit. I climbed on and marveled silently over the idea that I could even fit on one of these. I had no worry about weight limits or being told that I was just too big to ride. I was fairly normal looking on the bike, I guess. And then it started. The music was turned up and Frank started telling us what gear to use and how fast to peddle. SPRINT! When Frank said sprint, we had to go as fast as we could—and I did, reaching past 130 on the little display. It's not mph, and I really don't know what the number means, but I did hit 130. As we progressed up the gears it got harder and harder. Frank had us stand and peddle too! What? Really? Oh, it gets better...stand and peddle, then sit, then stand, sit, stand---all the while---keep peddling...Oh wow, this is going to be a really long 45 minutes!
It was long and it was challenging. But I did it. I even stayed on the gear everyone else was instructed to use along the way. I was sweating like crazy, my legs were burning, and I loved it! What was I so nervous about again? Yes, I'll be doing this again and again. Spinning class rocks! When the dust had settled and it was time to climb off the bike, my legs felt like noodles. And I felt like a million bucks. I wiped off my bike and made my way into Stephanie's office. She had come back there to cheer me on in the final minutes, it was so nice, and her “you did it” felt so good. It was a truly wonderful experience.
I was so happy about my spinning experience---it really helped carry me the entire day. Amber came home and was at the apartment when I arrived late afternoon. We had dinner together and hung out all night, just talking about everything. She doesn't know it yet, but I'm getting her out there on the trail with me for a 5K this weekend! I'm so proud of her! She's a beautiful, smart, talented young woman with a great head on her shoulders. She's so compassionate and real, with an a amazing understanding of people...and she's only 20 years old! It was a wonderful time, as we talked until nearly 1am.
I have a broadcast to do first thing Saturday morning---and it will last until 2pm. Afterward, I plan on having lunch with Amber at home and hitting the trail for that 5K. We're planning a night of live theatre too. We have two shows we could go see...we haven't decided which one just yet. It's going to be a wonderful weekend!
I went back a year ago today in the archives and found this:
This journey has been such a blessing to me, and to imagine that it only gets better is sometimes overwhelming, because it's so wonderful now. I put on the 48's today and was pleasantly surprised at the reaction. I had to stop at the business office of Team Radio today, and the staff had a real “wow” reaction to my appearance. A lot of times I'll wear the old stuff, the jeans several sizes too big, and you just can't see the real total difference in my size. But with the 48's on there's no denying the dramatic difference. It feels real good, I mean real good to get that kind of reaction. I'm convinced that when I reach my goal, then run into old acquaintances, I'll be able to walk right past—they will not recognize me one bit. I'll have to stop them, then spend a few minutes convincing them that it's really me. Oh, that'll be a fun little thing to experience!
It was such a big deal to me to be in 48's back then. Cool to read...I'm in 38's and 40's now, even cooler.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
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