Day 275 The Man Behind The Curtain

Day 275

The Man Behind The Curtain

I often mention this blog address on my morning radio show. In the beginning I was so reluctant to share because I knew it would mean my listeners who didn't know would “discover” that I was huge! I would feel exposed, revealed, and completely vulnerable. I've always been very “real” on my show, but not about my weight or appearance. Of course some listeners, many in fact, have attended remote broadcast over the years, so they knew exactly what I looked like. But for some reason it was hard for me to say “I started at five hundred and five pounds” live, on the air, in a serious tone. I didn't want to reveal the man behind the curtain. I've always been able to hide behind the microphone, allowing a personality free of insecurities about my appearance to flourish. Over the years listeners have told me that I seem different in person, well, that's why! You can't see me when I'm on the air. But at 505 pounds, you were actually getting the real Sean on the radio. That was and still is the real me. If we've never met and you haven't found any pictures, then I look like whatever your imagination wants my voice to look like. And I've discovered that our imaginations are always very kind too. I can't tell you how many people I've met in my twenty year broadcasting career that, upon meeting me face to face, uncontrollably release a look that says wow, you look nothing like I imagined. And I've had some that have just said it out loud, “you look nothing like I pictured!” I understand they were never trying to be hurtful, they were just surprised. I knew that this journey would mean being completely open and honest with not only you, the blog reader, but with the radio listener. After I first revealed my starting weight, I had several listeners call and tell me that they would have never guessed in a million years that I weighed that much. They were very supportive and always kind. As my journey has progressed and the weight has dropped, my on-air personality and my public personality have come together in harmony. What you hear on the air is pretty much what you get in person these days. I now walk with my head held high, sporting a confidence usually reserved only for that studio microphone. It's indisputable evidence that my much slimmer appearance is just one of the changes, I've actually changed in so many more wonderful ways.

Now, I said the listeners of my show were always kind and supportive, however, one of them decided to call me a name while commenting last night's blog. I was a “kiss *ss” according to Joe. Here's the copy and paste version of what Joe had to say: “Your such a kiss *ss to richard simmons. Doas he pay you or somthing! good stuf-what u write-i just dont get the constent mention of how great richard simmons is. are you gonna start weering shorts and tank tops too! i listen to you every morning on klor, joe." Wow, my spell checker is throwing a fit! Sorry for the jab Joe, I couldn't resist, much like you couldn't when you left this comment! Before I respond to this, I already know that my comedy buddy Cruz in LA will be upset with me for even giving this comment the time of day. Cruz was upset with me for devoting almost an entire blog to my imprisoned childhood bullies back on Day 53's “Childhood Bullies and Me.” (That posting comes complete with their actual prison mugshots! I don't know how to do a hyperlink, but you can find it in the November 2008 archive) I understand why Cruz feels that way, I do, but really...I don't mind explaining my admiration and respect for Richard Simmons, so Cruz buddy, relax, I got this...

I first remember watching Richard Simmons with my mother when I was a young child. My mom lost 100 pounds back then and part of her exercise routine involved watching and working out to “The Richard Simmons Show.” That show was unlike any workout show I'd ever watched before or since. Richard was very real, very compassionate, he would talk directly to the camera and let you know that you wasn't alone in your struggles. He sent hope and inspiration through the TV screen with every episode. I may have only been eight or nine, but his sincerity and never ending love for helping people wasn't lost on a little boy named Sean. I got it. Over the years I watched as Richard's career and popularity exploded. And through it all, he's remained the same caring, compassionate, and real person I remember as a child. His success couldn't be helped. You see, I can't imagine that he ever created a weight loss system or series of workout videos for the sole purpose of making money. He developed these products because he knew they would help people with their struggle to be free from obesity. That genuine caring and compassion is exactly why he is where he is today. Can the number of people he's inspired over the last 30 some years even be calculated? I'm positive that it's a tremendous number. So when I say things like “The weight loss industry is a waste of money,” I want to make it very clear that there are some fantastic exceptions to that statement, Richard Simmons is at the top of that list. I know that my attitude and extreme criticism of the weight loss industry will never win me even the smallest of endorsement deals, and that's completely cool, I wouldn't want them anyway, because I've discovered that losing weight isn't about the products you'll find in the “weight loss” section of the store. Losing weight is about honesty, compassion, understanding, and really digging deep to change our life long bad behaviors with food and exercise, and you can't get a price-check on that at your local discount super store.

So there you have it Joe. Another big slobbery wet one for Richard Simmons. But now maybe you'll understand me a little better. Joe, I sincerely appreciate you listening to my show and the kind words you said about my writing. I don't know you personally, but if you're struggling with obesity issues I sincerely hope you'll continue reading my blog. I promise to always give it to you straight with honesty, compassion, hope, and inspiration.

OK, let's move on! Courtney, Amber, and I had a wonderful YMCA workout tonight. I hit the weight room first for a complete upper body training session, then I jumped on a treadmill for a brisk mile before finishing up with a basketball workout. It was very nice.

Dinner tonight was a classic favorite. I made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, salad, and corn on the cob. I made the meatloaf with lean ground beef, finely diced onions, one egg, spices, eight saltines, and instead of drowning it in ketchup, I used a can of diced tomatoes. After calculating everything, it still came out a little higher than I wanted at 300 calories per serving, but with a small portion of potatoes at 80, and the mini ear of corn for 90, my plate still came in at under 500 calories.

Thank you so much for reading along on my journey. I better sign off and drop in bed. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean